The question Justin and I ask each other every friday night
I got another Trunk from Trunk Club
The weekends used to be the farthest thing from restful and relaxing. With two little kids under 3, the term ‘busy’ was a serious understatement. To me that wasn’t a bad thing, I really like being busy, multitasking, and getting a lot accomplished in a day, but it was a bit harder for Justin. Our weekdays look pretty different, and he really likes to use a bit of the weekend just to sit and rest. The rest of it is spent doing a million things just to try to keep up with the ever-growing list, but I’ve learned he really benefits from some quiet, alone time.
At some point during the year, and I can’t remember exactly when, we began to look at our weekends differently. And we started by having a little pre-weekend conversation on Friday nights to set ourselves up for success.
“What are your goals and expectations for the weekend?” became the general question we would ask each other. Usually one of us had something we had to do, whether it was a planned lunch date with a friend, or hauling off a load of recycling to the city dump (you would NOT believe how often we do that, and that’s a “he” we if you know what I’m saying). So we’d each share what we needed and wanted, and then figure out a way to give that to each other.
And out of that came my sacred and precious Saturday Morning. That deserves two capital letters, folks. Justin began to regularly offer to get up with the kids and be “on duty” until about 11:00a most Saturdays. It’s been months since he started that, and they have a little routine now. They usually go get a greasy breakfast somewhere, and either eat it at the location, or take it to the mall to eat and then play in the play place. Or they go to a toddler friendly trampoline place. And oftentimes Justin will extend that invite to his dad friends with kids, and it became titled “Men’s Breakfast”, again with the two capital letters because we like things to be official around here.
And I was left at home, alone, to do WHATEVER I WANTED IN THE WORLD. It was the best gift he could have given me after long weeks of working, mom-ing, and doing the other thousand things I take on.
To return the favor, I either give him a good chunk of time in the afternoon or some time the following day to do whatever he wants to do too. It’s a “no questions asked” time, so whether he wants to run errands and work outside in the yard or fix something in the house, or just sit on the couch and take a nap, it doesn’t matter. It’s his time, like Saturday Morning is mine, to do whatever in the world we want.
After having two kids nearly back to back, “you” time is rare. Especially “you” time before 7:30pm.
We always have pizza on Saturday night, and usually try to watch a movie too. Sunday greets us with busier mornings getting ready for church, and then usually ends up being a housework day for me and an outdoor work day for Justin during nap time.
But the weekends feel so restful, intentional, and we both are pleased that we got some time to ourselves, as well as family time together.