One on One Time

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The other night Justin was working late, so I was flying solo for the evening. I put Luke to bed, and as I closed the door to his bedroom I turned to David and said, “Do you want to go swim with mama?!”

“no. . . . YES I WANT TO FWIM!” he replied. These days pretty much any question is met with “no” first and then he realizes that it is, in fact, something he does want to do. We’ve learned just to give him about 10 seconds to process and then he’ll jump on board.

Usually we follow the same routine for bedtime. It’s baths, some playtime in the playroom, then Luke goes to bed. Once Luke is down, David gets to stay up for about 30-45 more minutes, and then either Justin and I will read to him and he’ll go to bed. So typically, once I step out of Luke’s room, David knows what is coming next. It was fun to surprise him with a different idea this evening.

So, we got in our suits and swim diapers, well–just one of us wore the swim diaper, and jumped in the pool. The baby monitor works on our deck, so I could listen for Luke in case he needed anything, but once Luke is in bed with his blanket, called “nigh-nigh”, he’s usually down for the count.

It was really fun, and I so enjoyed getting to do something with just him. David wears a floaty, like this, and he’s confident swimming all over the pool.

When I see my friends’ babies who are about 14 months old, and imagine Luke entering our family when David was just that old, it’s really blows my mind. I love their age gap, it is totally and completely worth the intense moments that can happen in that first year or so. So much of my time as a mom, in fact all of it save about 5 months, has been with either 1 child plus pregnant with the other, or two kids.

It’s sweet to spend some quality time with each of them, and I’m so glad I kept David up later than usual that evening for a “late” night swim.

PS More recent posts about motherhood here and here.

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sara says · 08.24.16

My son, 2.5, loves to swim and uses the same puddle jumper style floaty. However, he calls it is his “coyote.” I think to him, it sounds similar to floaty, but it cracks me up every time when he goes searching for his coyote and asking for it. I respond, “oh, you mean your floaty.” and he’ll say “Yes,” but somehow reverts back to calling it a coyote. We just let it be. 🙂

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Megan says · 08.24.16

So sweet!!! We love that floaty too 🙂

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Dana says · 08.24.16

This is so sweet! I have an almost 4 year old and am about to have my second baby. I’ve been emotional thinking about adding another child after 4 years with my son (I’m a stay at home mom, so LOTS of time together). This is such a beautiful example of a way to make special time for your older child. Thank you for sharing!

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Megan says · 08.24.16

I have two boys as well, but they are 4 years apart. It’s so important to spend time with each of them individually. Even at 7 and 2, they both have such unique personalities. Being alone with each one gives us a chance to see them shine. Being the mother of boys is such a blessing.

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Alyssa says · 08.24.16

This is so sweet! I love the picture too. Your family posts are so fun!

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Gina says · 08.24.16

I have a 1 and 2 year old 14 months apart and I can definitely relate!

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Krisann Watson says · 08.24.16

It’s encouraging to read this! I have a 14 month old and am about 36 weeks pregnant. I’m beginning to feel a little sadness about my sweet little boy having to share me with his baby sister. I feel sad and then I feel guilty because I can’t wait to meet this little girl! It’s encouraging to see that you love this age gap. I’m excited to see mine grow up together. Now to survive the next year! ?

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suzy says · 08.24.16

Very cute. Have you ever heard of ISR? We did that with my 2 year old because we have a pool. They teach kids how to float if by chance they were to fall in the pool. I was really nervous to do it because some kids don’t love it, but my daughter was fine and now 2 years later she swims the whole length of our pool.

I normally don’t share personal things like this publicly, (in fact I hesitated hitting publish) but since I think this is so important here is a video of my daughter simulating if she had fallen in a pool with winter clothes on.

https://www.facebook.com/suzy.supnet/videos/vb.1094397520/10205950224370096/?type=3&theater

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Andrea Williams says · 08.24.16

Thanks for sharing this. Have been thinkin about enrolling our toddler in this, too. We don’t have a pool but live in Vegas, so we’re around pools a lot. So incredible that these little ones are able to learn this so fast!

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Lindsey says · 08.24.16

Thank you for posting this! My boys are also 14 months apart, Griffin 17 months and Sawyer 3 months. I was so terrified on how I was going to be able to care for a newborn while still caring for my other baby still. It’s because of you that I was like, I can do this! Thank you so much for posting about everything regarding your boys/motherhood!

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Jen says · 08.24.16

That’s such a special time that David got to spend with you. I’m sure it’ll be a highlight of the week for him. Completely unrelated but I wanted to ask. You seem to layer Tarte lights camera lashes and Benefit roller lash along with fibers. I’m shopping for a new mascara and I’m torn. If I only want to buy one of them, which one would you suggest. My lashes never hold a curl, I even got the Shu Umera curler. Roller lash seems like it might be the obvious answer but when I searched around on your blog I noticed that it was in a favorites video and it was actually the UN favorite. Any advice?

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Katie says · 08.24.16

I love reading your posts about being a mama and time with your boys. I’ll be honest I was drawn to your blog for the hair tutorials and enjoyed hearing about products but truly I stay for these type of posts. They just fill me with nostalgia and remind me so much of my little one. would you ever consider posting about your bedtime routine more thoroughly with the boys? I still struggle with bedtime with my daughter and am expecting my second soon. How did you get them just start falling asleep on their own in their cribs? And was that a difficult or an easy transition? My daughter has never been one to just lay down and fall asleep on her own. Did you do some type of sleep training or read a book? I’d love some tips! Help a sista out 😉

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Jennifer says · 08.24.16

Kate! I’d like to say ditto to everything Katie said! I would love to know more about your bedtime routine. I too struggle with my daughter still and now have a 4 month old and I don’t want to have the same sleep issues with him. I’d like to figure out a way to make it work better. I have read many books, articles, etc but I still am left with questions. Please fill us in. 🙂

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Sherry says · 08.24.16

I have 3 boys age 8, 5 and 2.5. When pregnant with the middle, I had extreme guilt because for almost 3 years it was just Hudson and I. I’m talking major guilt and tears! He welcomed Holden with open arms though. We did lots of one on one after Holden was born and I think thst helped immensely. Fast forward 5 years and this summer I have tried to do one on one with the older 2. The other day, all I did was take Holden to McDonald’s for breakfast, to the park, car wash and on a bike ride and he gave me the biggest hug, said I was his best mommy ever and he had the beat day. It makes a bigger impact on them than you think. My oldest talks nonstop when we have one on one and I learn SO much that I normally wouldn’t when his brothers are around. 🙂

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Sherry says · 08.24.16

*that and *best lol

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Brittney says · 08.24.16

what a reminder this is to be intentional with our kids for some one on one time. thank you for sharing!

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LB says · 08.24.16

This is precious and so encouraging. Especially the part about it being worth the intense 5 months. We are about to try for #2 and sometimes I think I’m so tired and I don’t want to start the infant stage all over again. But I know we want one more little. Great job enjoying the moment and making that special memory with him. Bonus it’s in the blog so you can look back years from now and remember it all over again!

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Michelle N. says · 08.24.16

My 14 year old still responds to almost everything with no first and then will change it! One on one time is precious!

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Missy June says · 08.24.16

I am a mom in a family of five children (now ages 8-19). and that one-on-one time is still SO valuable! It is just precious and speaks volumes to the way you cherish each individual. Keep it up!

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Donna says · 08.24.16

Kate your motherhood updates make me smile and reminisce about my children now 19 and 17. When they were little we had a jar that we kept hand written “want to do’s” in. On special days or nights like you had with David last night, we would choose a “want to do”. With my daughter it was things like paint mommies finger nails, brush mommies hair, have popcorn and juice “in the living room”. My sons were wear pj’s outside, look at the stars with binoculars, ride bikes past the normal stops.

And now they choose hang with Dad and Mom at the beach, go for ice cream after work, and go to IHOP at Midnight…

Thank you Kate for bringing this mom such joy today

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lydia. says · 08.24.16

SISTER! I am so thankful for this post!

I have two littles, 14 months apart (3month, and 17months), and right now they are both sick with hand/foot/mouth. This season of life seems IMPOSSIBLE! (Grateful for a wonderful husband and JESUS!) Thank you for sharing these moments and helping me with ‘this too shall pass’ and ‘things get better.’

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Lorna says · 08.24.16

Kate, I love your blog and I have been following you even before you found out you were pregnant with David. You are by far my favorite blogger, but I didn’t realize how I attached I was to you until recently! Last night, I had a very sad dream about your family (hope I don’t make you sad!)… for some reason I dreamt that you had died from a rapidly progressing rare disease and that you had passed it along to Luke as well. I dreamt that I checked your blog and found a post from your husband, explaining the situation and his plans for raising David alone as a single Dad. So, when I woke up this morning, I had a terrible pit in my stomach and felt depressed… and then I fully woke up, checked your blog and realized it was just a dream. It’s amazing that I’ve never met you, but yet through your blog, I’ve become quite attached to you! Anyway just thought I would pass along…. I think this just shows how well you open up to your readers and allow us to feel like a real ‘friend’ to you. Hope you enjoy the rest of your week. 🙂

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Nicole says · 08.24.16

I am a mom of two under two, still slogging through many intense moments. It is so uplifting to hear you say that the close age gap is worth the tough times during the first year. Way to go, mama, and thank you again!

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Maria says · 08.24.16

Cute. I don’t know if it’s just that you’re in the city or something, but around where I live 14 months between is pretty typical. In fact, I had neighbors that had kids 10 months apart. Now that’s close!

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Melissa M says · 08.24.16

Kate, I’m not on Twitter but your eyebrows looked fabulous in your Snapchat story about your toe (ouch! but ooh la la!)!

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Rebecca M says · 08.25.16

I don’t have children myself, but I absolutely love hearing about these special moments and milestones! You really seem to be making the most of both of your sons younger years. Thank you for sharing these sweet bits of your home life!

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Tiffany J says · 08.25.16

Thank you for this post! I’m pregnant with our second and when the new baby is born our oldest will be 2 1/2. I’m struggling with this pregnancy because I’m scared I won’t get that time alone with our oldest once the new baby arrives. Thank you for the reassurance!

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Marriah says · 08.26.16

Can I just say thank you for this post? Im pregnant with my 5th- my oldest are twins who are 5, then 3 and 18 months. I get so tired of people always ragging on having kids close together or other moms just complaining all the time of how tiring it is, or saying they spaced theirs out to get to know their kids better (assuming moms who have theirs close together don’t know their children). It is a lot of work of course, but I love those special one on one moments and I especially love seeing our children play and grow up together. Thank you for such a positive perspective!

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Kim says · 08.27.16

I have a girl (1st) & a boy (2nd) that are 15.5 months apart! I agree with you, the first so many months were the hardest. They are now 29 & 30! Do you believe they got married within in 2 months of each other? Just about broke the bank after high school & college tuition. We are home free now & my husband & I still LIKE each other very much! Empty nesters is the best 😉 <3

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Lauren says · 09.20.16

I need advice on how to survive the first year! My second baby arrives in 4 weeks and I’ll have a 14 month old. I’m very excited but very scared!

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