When Aunt Lauren visits

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Dry Brushing and Rejuvinating Cream

My sister was just visiting for a long weekend, made even longer after a long evening of crying from both Luke and myself. Luke was having a rough evening and in my complete exhaustion I just let myself cry and vent about some recent challenges. So she graciously offered to extend her stay by another day (I picked up the tab of course) to offer a bit more help.

I know I haven’t shared much about the boys lately and there are a few reasons why. First of all, I haven’t had a ton of time to sit down and write! Secondly, Luke is extremely fussy/colicky and it’s been a very emotional past few weeks. Lastly, in the spirit of full disclosure, writing about my kids and sharing personal things from my life can sometimes lead to misinterpretation and debate in the comments portion of my blog posts. And while I fully expect some readers to disagree with me about a multitude of issues, I don’t have the time to moderate comments when a debate begins to get out of control.

So, I’m struggling with a bit of hesitation in opening up more personally on the blog, but so many of you are encouraging and kind and take this blog for what it is. A blog.

And I’m probably just being overly sensitive because I’m a little bit stressed out and tired, but I’m going to press on and follow the direction my heart is leading me.

Thus, let me recap my fun/hard weekend with my sister.

Before Lauren arrived, David and I were doing boring things like putting stickers on each others faces. It’s funny because he doesn’t quite grasp the concept yet so when the sticker is stuck to his fingers, and he wants it off, he isn’t sure about how to remove it and stick it somewhere else. He’ll just flail his hands about. But I’m guaranteed a laugh if I show him how to try and put them on my face, so we spent a good chunk of time  last week doing that.
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The real fun begins when Lauren arrives, as you can see below.

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Since Luke has been having a tough go of it lately, it’s hard to go out in public. I would hate to subject strangers to a screaming infant if it’s not necessary. However, Luke had a couple really good days while my sister was here and we were able to get out and do some fun things with David.

I love David’s age right now. He’s 16 months and such a stinkin’ ham. He’s an entertainer and loves other kids. I love taking him places and letting him explore. We went to Marbles Kids Museum for the first time this past weekend. It’s a local museum right in the heart of Raleigh. I wasn’t sure what to expect, although my husband had taken David before and told me how great it was, but the place was way more expansive than I imagined it would be! We didn’t even make it to the second floor to play before we had to head home before nap time!

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David spent most of his time in the fire truck, and paramedic vehicle, and also loved dropping the plastic eggs down the little maze on the wall.

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My sister was wearing Luke in the Ergo while he napped which freed me up to play with David! I think that’s been one of the biggest adjustments to having two kids. Luke needs to be held a lot right now and at times won’t tolerate the Ergo (or any other wrap I have), so it’s difficult to play with David! So I’m grateful that my sister would step in and take Luke from me so I could spend some quality time with David!

During one of the chillier mornings we went to a mall and David rode the carousel for the first time! He was a little nervous I think, but seemed to enjoy it when it was all said and done.
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I had been jonesin’ for a belguin waffle for a few weeks, and my sister happens to be the waffle pro of my family. So when Luke was down for his morning nap, David, Lauren, and I whipped up some fresh whip cream, topped our waffles with strawberries, and indulged in a decadent breakfast.
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Luke, despite having very unhappy times throughout the day, will still pretty easily smile if you talk to him close to his face. I love seeing him smile! He’ll coo and really focus on my face when I’m hovering over him and talking to him. I hate (for his sake) that he is colicky and I hope he grows out of it soon. It’s proven to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done to care for a colicky baby and a busy 16 month old. There are really really great, heartwarming moments, and really really hard ones where I text my friends and beg for prayer.
Luke

I can already see the boys sharing a room, and playing sports together, and enjoying one another (and also fighting, I’m sure) when they are older. And it’s focusing on that that is helping me get through the hard days. This is just a season, I know, and the 3 of us won’t remember it vividly. My friend Jenna encouraged me the other week by pointing out that God has chosen me to care for my boys, and hearing that really gave me a fresh perspective. Instead of thinking of Luke as my child, and a gift to me, it helped me see that I am his mom, and, with the Lords strength, will be able to care for him as he should be cared for.

Pre-planned visits from my family, and bi-weekly visits from my mother-in-law are humbling and eagerly anticipated. I’ve had plenty of days with the boys by myself, and we get by and even sometimes thrive, but it is much much easier to have an extra set of hands around. So when help is offered, I take it. I never understood the “it takes a village” thing with only one child (and an easy one if I compare the two boys at similar ages) but I do now more than ever.

So you can imagine we were all bummed to see my sister leave. I desperately wish she still lived in Raleigh, but am thankful I get to see her as much as I do given how far apart we live.

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Amy says · 04.30.15

Hang in there girl! You’re doing a great job!

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Amanda Whitley says · 04.30.15

Hi, Kate! I feel for you so much. My first son had colic for 6 MONTHS! It was so miserable. Everyone kept telling me to enjoy those months because they go by so fast, but honestly, I could not wait for them to be over. My second son started showing signs of colic at the typical 2 week mark and I was determined not to go through that again. I took a poopy diaper to his doctor, because I had heard colic is sometimes more than just a fussy baby. Sure enough, there were traces of blood in his stool- which determined that he had a milk allergy. I stopped nursing (because I would have had to cut virtually everything out of my diet) and switched to a (very expensive) formula for babies with allergies- it’s called Nutramigen. Within days, there was such a big difference in him. I think this was the same case with my first son, and I just did not know.
Anyway, sorry to ramble! I just wanted to encourage you that you are not alone. And maybe try taking a stool sample to Luke’s doctor. It couldn’t hurt! Good luck and I’m praying for you and your sweet family.

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Jen says · 04.30.15

Same thing with my third daughter…terrible colic, then switched from breastfeeding to Nutramigen (costly but well worth a content baby…and mommy!). Says it reduces colic symptoms within 48 hours of giving it to them. Our case, it was exactly the 48th hour (literally) and she was a different baby, totally content and no more fussing!!

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danielle H says · 04.30.15

I too had a very fussy baby given the term colicky…
She didn’t have a full blown milk protein allergy but did have a sensitivity. We were able to switch to a sensitive formula (I was breastfeeding) and it made a HUGE difference right away. I wish I had thought of it sooner as we spent her first 3 months all really miserable.

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Katie says · 04.30.15

After a very easy first baby, I had a really hard time with my second who was colicky. I also breastfed and finally realized around 3 months that she had a dairy sensitivity. She had no blood in her stool and no vomiting so her pediatrician ruled out an allergy. She also had eczema which is a sign of dairy sensitivity. I cut out obvious sources of dairy in my diet like yogurt, milk, cheese, etc, but I didn’t check fool labels for hidden sources. I also started giving her a probiotic (Gerber Sooth drops) since I read that cesarean babies are often lacking gut bacteria that they’d normally pick up in the birth canal. My daughter improved almost immediately, and she grew out of her sensitivity by ~10 months.

I definitely feel for you right now! It’s a really tough stage to get through. Hang in there!

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Joy says · 04.30.15

My little one is almost 2 now and we thought he had colic also. Turned out to be a milk allergy along with reflux. Got him on Nutramigen, zantac and gerber drops and he was like a different child after that. I feel for you! That’s a horrible mom feeling.

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Sonnie says · 04.30.15

I agree with the other moms. Sounds like a milk allergy or sensitivity or refulx. It is okay to not breastfeed. When I tried and felt ashamed I couldn’t and my mother in law assured me our baby would still grow up healthy, happy and loved. Do beat yourself up with this. All you have to do is try the formula these ladies have suggested. If it works great!

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shanon says · 04.30.15

Same here! I have 5 kiddos and my third was fussy/colic…I cut out milk from my diet (because I was breast feeding) and she was a different baby. I will be praying for you!

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denise says · 05.04.15

I hopped over here from my blog reader to post the exact same info! My 2nd was so fussy and we were all miserable. After a long 6 weeks or so of constant crying (me and him! LOL!), the doctor suggested I cut dairy from my diet. I was determined to keep nursing so I cut all dairy right away. Within 48 hours, he was a new baby! It was so amazing and such a God-send to have a happy boy that I didn’t even resent not having dairy too much.

After a while, I was able to add back a tiny bit of dairy to my diet without it impacting him. For instance, I could have one yogurt or a bit of real butter once a day. But milk, cheese, and ice cream made him crazy. I went largely dairy-free for about 6 months and when he started eating table food, I gradually added dairy back to my food and he didn’t have any trouble.

And to reassure you that this doesn’t have to be a lifelong sensitivity thing, he is now 15 years old and 6’1″ tall! Of my three kids, he loves dairy the most and is a big part of the reason we buy milk 3 gallons at a time! LOL!

Best of luck, Kate. You are doing a terrific job raising two beautiful boys!

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Leigh says · 04.30.15

Be gentle with yourself, mama. As wonderful as mother is, no one has ever described it as easy.

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Tracy says · 04.30.15

I love this…. and it’s so true!

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Sue says · 04.30.15

Yes! So true. Motherhood is the best thing I’ve ever done and the hardest. It’s great that you have family willing and able to help- and I’m sure they love every minute with your boys. Keep in touch with your friends, get breaks and keep praying! Try to get outside with the boys- and maybe some friends and their kids- every day. The fresh air really works wonders. Seriously. And no one cares about an infant crying at the park. And also, I agree with everyone else that if you haven’t already talked to your pediatrician, you should ask him/her about the possibility of a food allergy/sensitivity and/or reflux. My boys each had one or the other and it did make them fussy. I feel for you. Hang it there- it will get better!

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Lisa Wild says · 04.30.15

Being a Mom myself, I get exactly what you are saying, I have 3 children and the hardest moments were going from 1 to 2 children those 1st 3 months. My babies were colicky too and I thought I would never get through it. Hang in there, it will get better 🙂 On the other note, I would really dislike if you stopped talking about some of the personal things. It is one of the reasons I love your blog! I have always loved it but when you became a mom I could relate more to you and I went straight to he top of my list to have to read everyday! These hard times will make you a stronger person and mom.

Thanks for for always being open with your blog! Lisa

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Abby says · 04.30.15

Thanks for sharing your life. I am far more interested in your journey as a mom than the products you use. I do love that you post about both, but I especially enjoy reading about your family because it helps me have a grasp on what’s real. If every reader just saw your cute videos, and “put together” pictures, we would always assume you have everything so perfect. I like that you post about struggles, and I appreciate your honesty. In fact, my favorite post of yours was the one where you listed things no one tells you about having a baby or something like that. I really took to heart what you said.

Thanks for posting.

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Carli says · 04.30.15

I so agree with this. Posts like today make us moms all feel better about the hard days and know we are not alone! Keep it up, you’re doing great! <3

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Ashley says · 04.30.15

I always heard the second one is the total opposite of the first and the main reason I’m so afraid to have another one! My son is 2 months older than David and has the same mellow attitude. But even though the times are crazy, it’s going to be so much fun when they’re running around together. You can do it!

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Kitty says · 04.30.15

Just a complete suggestion, assuming you are still nursing…..try to watch your diet, any gaseous foods, dairy, fiber rich can make a baby unhappy…I know it’s a trial and error method, but might be worth it to have quieter moments 🙂 HA!!!! My sister in law couldn’t eat chocolate (gasp!!) while nursing her oldest, it made her little one spit up ALOT!!!! Hang in there momma!!!!!

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Elizabeth says · 04.30.15

Just keep on keeping on! You are doing a great job. My own three kids are also super tight in age (my first two are the same, 15 months apart ,and then the 3rd son came 20 months after the middle one) and I remember, vaguely, how hard it was. My husband was working in another state five hours away and only came home on weekends.
But I want to reassure you that those years really do pass, and in a couple years you will be on semi-easy street. My 3 boys are each other’s best friends, I nearly always sleep through the night, and even travel. alone. on planes! By myself with all of them. They are now 6, 8, and 10, and it’s really pretty smooth. My husband has a new position where he works from home a few days a week, and I was even able to return to teaching last year, which felt like reclaiming a piece of myself! Keep it up! Happy Mother’s Day!

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Laura says · 04.30.15

My second baby was colicky as well and there are no words for the emotions and fatigue you go through. I remember one of my friends posted on facebook that her baby just slept through the night for the first time at 2 months (I had been up 3 or 4 times that night and my baby was screaming while I read her comment) and I sobbed uncontrollably for about an hour. You will get through it though and life will get back to normal (well you know blissful, chaos of 2 little ones normal). I am off to target with both of my small children-something I never thought I would be able to do during those colicky days. P.S. I love your personal posts but understand that you are in “survival mode” and do not blame you at all for not wanting to deal with the comments. Virtual hugs and blessings-it will get SO much better.

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Debbie says · 04.30.15

LOL…my daughter was colicky, and when my sister-in-law had a baby 2 years later and included in a thank-you note that she was surprised at how easily her baby fit into her life (he was not at all colicky), I sat on my bed and cried. Two years after the fact. I think my husband thought I was crazy.

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Cassidy says · 04.30.15

I have two boys that are 20 months apart. They are 2 and 4 now, but my youngest had a horrible case of colic from 5 weeks old until he was 4 months. It was absolutely horrible, and I thought it would never pass. Nothing my husband or I did seemed to help him. I usually just cried right along with him during his colicky times. Thankfully, one day though, it went away as quickly as it came. It’ll get better soon! You’re also right about forgetting about it. We’re about to start trying for another baby, so that proves that the colic is just a distant memory now. Good luck with two boys so close together – I absolutely love every minute of it!

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Terri says · 04.30.15

Hi Kate, I read your blog daily especially posts about your boys. They are both precious! I simply wanted to say don’t beat yourself up too hard about posts, crying or needing help. Yes, you are sharing parts of your life over the internet and some people believe that gives them the right (sitting behind a computer) to be cruel and rude. Skip over those comments and keep steppin’. According to my mom, my sister also had colic. She too said it was one of the hardest times in her life because she felt so helpless. However, she got through it and now we have funny stories of how my sister cried for “years”. God is there and he knows you can handle this bump, stay strong.

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Sandra says · 04.30.15

Kate, I had a VERY tough time when my second girl came along. There were days where I wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out. But, I somehow survived and so will you. Sending you big hugs and positive vibes 🙂

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Lauren says · 04.30.15

Thank you for taking the time to share your heart and your day to day life. It’s very encouraging. I can see other moms reading this and thinking “oh good, I’m not the only one!”. It’s easy to think other people’s experiences are better or easy just from seeing curated instagrams and then feeling condemned for having a hard time. I’m having my 2nd at the end of the year and know it won’t always be an easy ride (even though we are so excited). You’re right, this is a season and Luke will grow out of his fussiness!!

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Abby says · 04.30.15

Hang in there, momma! I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with that! It’s exhausting and frustrating, for sure!
My daughter struggled with that a lot also, and we started giving her Garden of Life Raw kids probiotic powder. You can add it to a bottle if Luke takes those, or just carefully let him suck it off of your finger. (If the powder hits their throat they cough a ton like if you tried to gulp a spoonful of cocoa). It made a HUGE difference for my daughter! I would do it once or twice a day. Not only does it help with gassy bellies at the moment, a healthy gut also helps the immune system, a wonderful bonus! It would be great for David, too!
You can buy it on Amazon, Vitacost, or most local health food stores.
I hope that that helps!

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Angela says · 04.30.15

So sorry to hear that Luke is colicky. Both my babies were very colicky and it was so HARD. Nearly killed me. The worst part was people just don’t understand because their babies were so easy, they didn’t have to constantly hold their baby and listen to hours and hours of screaming everyday while desperately trying everything to stop the crying. It’s rough. Be sure to talk to your pediatrician about it to rule out GERD (acid reflux). If it is GERD There is medicine that will help, and over the counter probiotic drops that help too.

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Alicia says · 04.30.15

I don’t have a lot of words of advice but I do want to say my heart goes out to you and although I’m a stranger to you, I ‘feel’ as if I know you through your blog and I’ll certainly pray for peaceful days and comfort on difficult days for you. You’re a great mom! Hang in there! Remember, “This too, shall pass.”

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Pamela says · 04.30.15

You are doing great! My youngest is three months old…so I understand your journey! Right there with you! Chiropractors can work wonders! We took all of our kiddos when they were just weeks old. It helps with pooping, colic, eating, and ear infections. You are doing awesome, and you are not alone!

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Robyn says · 04.30.15

Hello! I love your Blog all the way up here in Canada. I am curious as to where or brand your childs highchair is and the vibrating chair as pictured above! Love them! Im preparing for my first pregnancy and am doing lots of searching around 🙂

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Erin says · 04.30.15

Oh Kate, I know others have posted this already, but I.So.Feel.You!!!
First off, one thing that seems to happen when you become a mom, is suddenly OTHER moms can be SO judgmental and quick to say what you should or should not be doing. Those are the people that I have to tell myself, are somewhere deep down, sad, or unsure of their own parenting, or just missing something in their own life. Those are not the moms that are there to build you up and have your back when you need it! I’m sorry you have to deal with that. 🙁
Secondly, I also have two boys. My first was an ANGEL and my second, oh my gosh, I don’t know how I survived. He was “colicky” I swear for two years. (sorry! That’s not good to share, is it??) His first year was really, really hard. I cried a LOT about the lack of time I had to give my first son, and it all seemed so wrong and unfair at times. But. There’s hope. Today, my babies are 9 and 6 years old, and though I KNOW it was hard, it is all such a blur to me that I can’t really remember WHAT was hard. So, the hardness fades. My second born is now super laid back and SO EASY, which I never thought possible. Ever.
I always say, if God had given me two “perfect” babies, I would never be a humble mother. I would always think that the reason my babies were so good was because of ME. Well, my second taught me that that was NOT the case, it had nothing to do with my “skills”. And now, I feel like I am so much more compassionate and understanding to other moms than I would have been if both of my babies had been easy.
So, wow. I just wrote you an essay. Sorry! Basically, sending love, understanding, and “you got this girl!” your way.
-Erin

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Steph says · 04.30.15

I love this attitude about having a “difficult” baby. What a wonderful perspective to have and hopefully it makes all of us a little more compassionate.

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Erin says · 04.30.15

((HUGS)) to you! I have four sons, ages 11 months to 9 years. My third had colic and it was so incredibly hard. He’s almost 3 now, but I remember all to well how often I would cry as he cried. After a little more than 6 months of crying pretty much whenever he wasn’t nursing, he stopped. And turned into such a happy boy! I know the hours and days can sometimes drag on, but the weeks, months, and years sure fly by. but those hard day’s are sure hard! You’re doing great!

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Kate says · 04.30.15

It sounds like you are keeping a positive attitude, go you! Keep on keeping on. I love your blog and love all you share about your babies, thank you! I hope today is a good day! Family is the best and it is a blessing to realize that. Sounds like you do. 🙂

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Jessica says · 04.30.15

Hi Kate!
I have been reading your blog for quite some time and have never commented before. I really appreciate that you share both your joy and struggles! I have a 2 year old daughter and 7 month old son (also named Lucas). I think it’s refreshing to hear about other mom’s stories. I hope you continue to be encouraged by God in your journey!

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Kellie says · 04.30.15

Oh man, I’m so sorry you’re having a rough time, but so glad you have help and aren’t afraid accept it!! My older 2 are 20 months apart and I’ve said before that if I had had my second baby first, I don’t know if I would have had another. I probably would have, but man it was HARD. He was a hard baby. It will get better. Really. I think these times God really use to show us our weakness and it points is back to Him. He’s the lifter of our head. He lifts our head and we can see Him. Though our circumstances may be hard, really hard, we can see and know and trust Him.

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Kathleen W. says · 04.30.15

Kate, you are doing a great job ! It is a tough job, especially when you are tired. I’m pretty sure that I don’t remember some things from those stages with my kids out of sheer exhaustion ! It’s funny, even as they get older it is still a bit of a juggling act with two or more kids. I am a SAHM to my 9 year old son and 4 year old daughter. I am with my daughter almost all day, every day ( preschool 3 mornings a week, gym time for me !) and she and I do lots of things together. When my son comes home from school we talk about his day, help out with homework/cub scout projects and that is when my daughter wants my attentio. All I hear from her is, “Hey Mom, look at his drawing, help me spell flowers, can you get me a drink, etc.” It is funny, she doesn’t like to share me with her brother even though she has me to herself all day. There will always be challenges, they just keep on changing and you just learn to roll with it and do the best that you can !

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Kim says · 04.30.15

My son was colicky too. It’s rough. There are no two ways around it. And going from one to two is also a big adjustment. I agree–accept any and all help. You’ll get through it. Mine are 4 and 22 months and I still prefer an extra adult ( safety in numbers) for the big outings.

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Katie says · 04.30.15

I don’t have children, so I would never pretend to relate to what you’re experiencing. However, it appears to me that you’re doing the best that you can do and that’s all that matters! God DID choose you and Justin to care for your sons and from what I can tell, you are doing a fantastic job. They sure are handsome little munchkins!

I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate your candor and humor. I’ve been following your blog for a couple of years and I feel like we’re good friends. You approach your challenges with a great attitude which is incredibly encouraging to read. So just know that you’re impacting not only mom’s that follow you but non-mom’s, too. 🙂

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Angela R says · 04.30.15

Hang in there girl! It’s so tough on those days/weeks/months when you feel like you are in the trenches. Some days I feel like I need to keep chanting, ” I will miss them being babies, they will be all grown up in a flash” over and over. My daughter goes to kindergarten next year and it stills feels like she was born yesterday!

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Alli says · 04.30.15

Embrace your village and let it grow, it will be the greatest thing you have ever done for yourself as a mom! Since having #3 (with all of them at home still) my grandmother comes bi-weekly to help with the kids for an hour- just those simple moments together have made my village feel massive, my support strong and my heart so full. You are strong, you were made just for these boys, and there really couldn’t be a better mom for them. I wholeheartedly agree with your friend! My niece was very ‘colicky’ and finally at 3 months old (when nothing was getting better) my sister in law read The Highly Sensitive Child by Aron, it has transformed their lives as she found her baby wasn’t colicky just highly sensitive. I clearly don’t know you or Luke, but just thought I’d mention it if you have roughly 3.7 minutes to google what highly sensitive children are like and to see if it might help you. Prayers for you in this ‘rainier’ season, you’re doing a great job!

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Marianne says · 04.30.15

My first baby, a son, was so colicky and fussy too, but it didn’t take a diaper to figure out that he was allergic to milk also. While he is 28 years old now, I don’t think Nutragin (sp) existed then, so he went on soy formula and OVERNIGHT became a happy, sweet little baby who slept through the night! Heartily suggest you see if Lucas is allergic. It might not be the case but then you will know.

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Morgan @ Managing Mommyhood says · 04.30.15

The museum looks so fun! You’re doing great with your boys, as anyone can see. I only have one 11 month old and you are a million times more put together and finessed with two!

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Catherine says · 04.30.15

Hi Kate, I just wanted to let you know that I so appreciate your honesty about motherhood. Thank you for opening up. I have been having a LOT of struggles breastfeeding my now 6 week old and, honestly, I came to your blog this morning to look back at the posts you wrote about your struggles with breastfeeding David. I am now exclusively pumping, but am so miserable and I need to let go of the idea that “breast is best” because my son having a mother who is miserable is not best for anyone, even with whatever advantages he’s getting from my milk. This morning I decided to wean and I was just looking to your blog for some support. So thank you for another honest post this morning… It helps so much to hear about the good times AND bad times that other mothers are experiencing.

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danielle H says · 04.30.15

I stopped breastfeeding at 4 months for some of the same reasons and felt much like you do. So much mom guilt about giving up on the breastfeeding. She is now a year old though and has THRIVED on formula and solids (introduced around 4/5 months at our drs suggestion. A happy mommy is so much more important and I wish I had realized that sooner instead of being filled with guilt and anxiety for so long when she was little.

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Catherine says · 05.01.15

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am so happy to hear your daughter did well with the transition to formula and solids. This whole mom thing can be hard, but it’s really nice to know there are supportive people out there who understand our struggles. Thanks!

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Jenny D says · 04.30.15

Don’t forget we are part of that village! Our words should be ENCOURAGING! People who leave the rude comments and just want to “argue” with one another need more to do in their own lives rather worry about the blog life they are reading. Try to enjoy your boys and remember “This too shall pass”. It’s hard and it’s OK to admit it’s hard. Happy Thursday! 🙂

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danielle H says · 04.30.15

Kate you are doing a fantastic job! I have a 1 year old and cannot imagine a little one in the mix. I wanted to let you know though that Luke sounds a lot like my Isla at that age. She was incredibly unhappy, would cry and fuss ALL THE TIME. Around 3 months old someone suggested that maybe she had a milk or gluten allergy. I was still breastfeeding at the time. So I cut dairy out of my diet. I also went back to work and eventually gave up breastfeeding for a multitude of reasons and put her on a sensitive formula. Honestly, within 1 day the difference was amazing. She did not have an actual milk allergy, but she definitely was sensitive to milk proteins, so the sensitive formula made a world of difference. We also introduced some solids to hear around 4 months and that helped a ton as well. I know how it feels to have a constantly fussy baby (who does have some good moments too of course). The anxiety is tough, but know you are doing a great job and it WILL get better.

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Ginny says · 04.30.15

Though I’ve followed your blog for years, watched every single one of your tutorials and only have good hair days because of you, I have never commented before. But I feel compelled to add my voice to the chorus of encouraging mommies. My kids are teens and they are a joy. Your work as a mom has eternal significance and there aren’t many jobs that can say that. Please ignore the hateful comments and know that there are many of us who appreciate what you do and look forward to “sitting down with you” every day. Saying a prayer for a peaceful day. 🙂

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Brittany says · 04.30.15

Thinking of you and your little family. Even in the hardest days I know your are a super mom and I’ll just keep you in prayer and hope this cholic phase ends quickly. 🙂

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Nana says · 04.30.15

The comments about lactose intolerance may be the key to your son’s colic. Years ago, my oldest son and wife went through absolute you-know-what with their first-born, not to mention what the poor little baby was going through. Finally, the doctor told them to stop breast-feeding and try a very expensive soy formula. That helped tremendously. FYI: they went through the same problem with their second baby, but this time, stopped the nursing much quicker and switched to the soy formula. Nowadays they have other products that will do the job, but the lactose intolerance was the key. Hang in there, mama! Having babies so close together is not easy, but you will survive.

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Brittany says · 04.30.15

I know this doesn’t help you but I am currently going thru the same thing right now. I don’t have too much advice for you but I know it always helps me to know that others are going thru the same situation and that I’m not alone or that I’m the only one with a difficult/fussy child. It’s always so hard to see others comment/talk about how perfect their child is and easy going while mine cries 90% of the day (Not an exaggeration at all). My son is almost 4 months and slowly getting a bit better or at least has good moments during the day that have helped me make it thru. My older son is now 22 mos and I always feel so bad for him that he doesn’t get the attention he use to and has to listen to the baby scream all day. The younger boy doesn’t like carries for the most part either so I have to hold him the majority of the day and there are times when my oldest just cries cause I can’t hold him. It’s so heartbreaking. I love the part where you mentioned it’s just a season and you guys probably won’t remember it. That is one of the things getting me thru this time, knowing that it won’t last long and that there is an ending point. Hang in there and know you’re not alone.

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Kate Boynton says · 04.30.15

Kate~
I have followed your blog for a number of years and delight in your recommendations but so enjoy your day to day comments on being the mother of two small children. I am probably one of your older blog followers -with two grown children – and I often find myself, when reading your blog, transported back to when I was also swallowed up with a diapers, apple juice and arrowroot cookies. I never thought the days of endless exhaustion and being overwhelmed would actually end, but they do. And you will be fine. Take time for yourself is the one lesson that took me many many years to learn. You are doing a great job!

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Tracy says · 04.30.15

Have you ever thought of joining a Moms of Preschoolers group? (Mops) it’s a Christian based group and it’s wonderful support for moms. I belong to one in downtown Cary and it’s not a huge group. We would love for you to come and try it out sometime. Just email mail me any time.

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Erin says · 04.30.15

I know you are busy and don’t have a lot of time for comments but I had to chime in. My first two kids are 20 months apart and #2 was SUCH a hard baby. That teamed with the fact that I had another small child to care for made that the hardest year of my life. It was rough. We rarely left the house bc he cried all the time. My family would come and visit and we would try to go to a restaurant and one of us always missed most of the meal bc we would be walking him around the restaurant. It was so HARD. I don’t want this to be discouraging. I wish I had great advice. I really don’t. All babies are so different. But I will say- it gets SO much better and you won’t really remember this time. For better or worse, I blocked out a lot of that hard year. Anyway. This probably wasn’t helpful at all but just know that I sympath and I will pray for you. If it makes you feel any better we did end up having one more baby (3 years later) so we weren’t completely trauatized by the colick. 😉

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Erin says · 04.30.15

Oh Kate, hang in there. Our daughter was colicky beyond belief for the first 6-10 weeks of her life (probably more like 6-8 weeks). I mean, like, she literally spent most of her days crying and fussing. It helped us to wear her, that seemed to calm her. Hang in there. As a mom already, you know the deal — these “phases” they go through don’t last forever and it will get better. Hugs!

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Cait M. says · 04.30.15

Thanks for sharing Kate! Being a mom is not for the faint of heart. Even during the really tough times, your boys think you are perfect. You are doing a good job!

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Haley says · 04.30.15

I agree with a few other commenters, if you are open to giving formula try Nutramigen by Enfamil. It really helped my colicky baby with his tummy issues.

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Traci says · 04.30.15

So sorry moms feel the need to tear rach other down. I wish I could tell you it was just an isolated incident or two.

I do suggest talking to your doctor about whether or not Luke has acid reflux. Our fourth child has been SO much happier on a.r. medication. He started sleeping through the night (at less than four months old) within a week of being on it. I also avoid chocolate 🙁 and caffeine as I’ve noticed they can make a HUGE difference in his reflux.

The first few months with two little ones so close in age are very difficult. No other way to see it. Our girls are 18 months apart. Three and a half years later we had another child, and 18 months later, another boy. So, I can tell you from experience that it’s hard, but that when they get older, they will play together all he time – they are each other’s best friends. They can also be each other’s best enemies, by the way.

Hang in there. It will get easier and more fun. ❤️

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Amber says · 04.30.15

I have lived what you are living now it was HARD! Give yourself grace. We did probiotics to help get the digestive track calmed. It helped.

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Beth says · 04.30.15

I LOVE that you keep it real. In today’s world of social media, so many moms feel pressure to only post the fun, cute, adorable moments and hide the rough parts. This leaves other moms thinking, “Her life is perfect, what’s wrong with me? I must be a bad mom.” Also reading about your struggle reminds people that parenting is a serious, self-sacrificing job. I pray you get through this season of your life and I can tell you, it gets better as they age. I am honest with my friends that the new born stage is not my favorite. It’s lots of hard work on very little sleep. Toddler years, now those are a good time. Still exhausting, but very different.

You are wonderful! You will survive! Keep taking it day-by-day.

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Angelina says · 04.30.15

Oh, Kate, I feel your pain. I have six children, my first two boys were fifteen months apart, and the second one was colicky for six months. Try not to torture yourself trying to figure out why, there is nothing you are doing wrong. In fact, Luke is lucky to have such a caring mom by his side when he’s going through this rough patch. Above all, remember that this, too, shall pass.

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Lynn says · 04.30.15

As a first time mom of a little one who has his moments. I highly recommend the 5 s’s from the book “the happiest baby on the block” by Harvey Karp MD. Hang in there and know you have a lot of people cheering you on!

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Amy says · 04.30.15

The Happiest Baby on the Block truly is a game changer! I have 2 girls and both were colicky. It’s sooo hard! Sometimes all you can do is take it one day at a time, and other times all you can do is take it one minute at a time. Praying for you Kate! <3

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denise says · 05.04.15

I posted above about dairy sensitivity but wanted to add my recommendation for this book. It was very new when my youngest was born. We followed his recommendations fairly closely and my daughter was by far the happiest of all my babies. I give all the credit to “The Happiest Baby on the Block”!

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sarah says · 04.30.15

ah, i’m so glad you got some sister time. i never realize how much i miss sister times until i see them and i feel so grounded & refreshed afterward. also, my kids are quite a bit more spaced out (almost 6yrs) but our 2nd (10mo now) is suuuch a different baby than her brother was. We were like you and got so so so lucky the first time and now we have a baby who is coming up on her first birthday and still cries so.much! (stop being such a baby lol) she also sleeps much less than we had with big brother too! it’s tough! hang in there mama, you are doing it with much more grace than I would!!

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Pbright says · 04.30.15

Hang in there. I love how you keep it real. I only have one child but I can only imagine how it could be logistically hard to have 2 littles. I’m sure you are a fabulous mom. I’m so sorry that people are unkInd on your blog. It’s a blog. We aren’t solving the world’s problems here. Breastfeed if you want. Don’t if you don’t want. Wear your baby. Or don’t. Sleep with your baby. Or don’t. It’s all good. Looking at David he seems to be doing exactly what he should be doing so you’re doing a lot of things right. Sure there are struggles. It won’t ever end. It’s called being a mom. And it’s by far the best job I have ever had or will ever have. Love to you from Texas.

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Cate says · 04.30.15

Just wanted to send a note of encouragement your way. I too have a very high maintenance child. She is 10-1/2 months old and is still extremely irritable and cranky in the evenings. I know it will get better, but it’s really, really hard when you just can’t fix it. Thank you for sharing your struggles. I will be praying for you as I know how hard it can be.

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Heather L says · 04.30.15

You are doing really great! Please know that it will get better. My daughter was a colicky baby and sometimes it feels like it is never-ending and so extremely hard. It will suddenly end. You will always remember how hard it is, but you will feel strong for going through. I went through countless amounts of gas drops and gripe water. I am not convinced that they work, but I kept hoping. 🙂 Good luck to you all.

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Martha says · 04.30.15

YOU GO GIRL. I feel you with the rough times – remembering it’s a “season” is a good way to look at it. My 9 month old is going through some horrible teething this week and she’s kicking my butt with the waking up screaming in the middle of the night.

Prayers, hugs, & happy thoughts!

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Danielle says · 04.30.15

This too shall pass! My daughter who is now 4 1/2 was an extremely difficult baby. She started up with what I thought was the newborn colic but then it turned out to be full blown Gastro-Esophageal Reflux. She was SCREAM after eating, throw most of what she ate up, multiple OTC colic meds didn’t help, gripe water helped a teeny tiny bit but not enough to make a difference. Finally I took her to the doctor and she was diagnosed with GERD and given zantac. OMG, I can not explain how drastic the difference was. This poor sweet baby had been hiding underneath her pain and screaming. I know you are a fully capable Mom but if you haven’t looked into the symptoms of GERD, please do and bring it up with your pediatrician if you feel it’s appropriate.

Good luck with your handsome boys! I know you will find a solution and/or Luke will hopefully grow through this phase soon!

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Michele says · 04.30.15

Hang in there. I can relate to that crying and exhaustion. My daughter cried sooo much, I had just as many tears and she did. The doctor’s all blamed colic and me being a ‘new mom’. Come to find out at 1 year old, she was allergic to dairy (I was breast feeding and drinking dairy milk). So the pure hell of crying days ended but the new challenge of dairy allergies arrived. But in the end, it all worked out. You can only do what you can do. Day by day. That’s fantastic your family is there to help out here and there. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Be strong new Mama of two.

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Kim says · 04.30.15

I totally understand. My first was colicky. I called it parenting boot camp. I actually remember finding it hard to read your posts about David back then because I had struggled so much and he seemed so easy going. It will get better. LJ was a lot better by about 3.5 months. I remember when people used to tell me that like 3+ months was no big deal but it seemed like an eternity to me! Anyway, I’m pregnant with my second now and I admit I’m nervous about having another colicky baby. I figure at least this time I will be prepared and I know it’s a very real possibility. My biggest fear is that I will be stuck insider house with another little screamer (like you mentioned) which is really difficult mentally. Anyway, now I’m just rambling. I’ll pray for you Kate.

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Amanda says · 04.30.15

Hi Kate!!! Don’t be discouraged…..these times come and will soon pass!! I was fortunate that neither of my kids had colic, but I have had a couple of friends who did have colicky babies. They took the babies to the chiropractor and after an adjustment or two the colic was GONE!!! Worth a shot, for both Luke and your sanity 🙂

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Shannon says · 04.30.15

Kate, thank you for sharing your life with us, the good times and the hard times. It’s refreshing for a blogger to be so real. As a single woman yearning for my own family one day, I often forget people that have their families also have their own struggles. You and your boys are in my prayers!

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Jennifer says · 04.30.15

My ped recommended Gerber Soothe drops for colic. Over the counter and have probiotics in them. It is a tiny bottle, $30 but enough for a month because you do 5 drops a day (in a bottle is easier because they are kinda thick/oily). Don’t know if it really helps my 9 week old but I keep doing it because he does seem happier/less fussy and it can’t hurt you know? Just throwing an easy suggestion to try – good luck! I have 2 boys too and the juggle of both is tough.

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Stephanie says · 04.30.15

Hi Kate! I love reading your blog. In fact, it has become a daily part of my morning routine. I have a son who is a month older than Luke. He was never colicky, but he does have his moments (i.e., he HATES going to bed). I can only imagine what it would be like with a toddler to care for as well. I think you’re a wonderful woman and an inspiration for other women and moms.

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Kylie says · 04.30.15

I had my first baby in January and she had colic. It was by far the most difficult 3’ish months/time that I’ve ever had. On top of it being my first baby, having to cope with her colic fits it made for some very long days and evenings. It just breaks your heart because you don’t know what to do to stop it! Luckily, my little girl has grown out of the colic now for the most part…she’s now 3 and a half months and the majority of our days and nights are easy and she is a happy little lady. I really do feel your pain but just know that this is temporary and he will outgrow it and you will be so much stronger for it on the flip side!

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Laura A says · 04.30.15

Keep your chin up, mama! You can do this!! (I’m due with baby 2 in two weeks, and I appreciate honest posts like this one!)

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Stacey says · 04.30.15

Your post brings tears to my eyes this morning. I have three boys and I remember very well how hard it was after each one was born. I was depressed and oh so desperate to have someone here with me to help. Hang in there girl. It does get better I promise! The days are long but the years fly by.

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Kara says · 04.30.15

Hi Kate! Thank you so much for being brave and sharing your struggles as well as your good times. I have girls 17 months apart. Both of them had colic. It was a horrible, exhausting experience both times around. But what made it even worse was that my family didn’t believe me. My mother kept telling me that I was just blowing it out of proportion and she was probably just a little fussy. It was a very lonely time for me. Finally one day after months of dealing with my oldest little girl by myself while my husband was at work, my upstairs neighbor at our apartment complex knocked on my door. She said she noticed my baby had been crying a lot. I instantly tensed up. What was she going to say? Another critical comment from someone I didn’t really even know? But she offered with a sweet smile to hold my little girl while I did dishes, laundry, or just sat down. I gratefully passed her over and cried tears of relief and gratitude. I am so happy to hear that you have supportive family and friends. It can make all the difference! What finally worked for us was taking both girls to the chiropractor. It was amazing to see the instant changes in them. Hang in there! My prayers are with you.

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Amber says · 04.30.15

Confession; as a mom of a little guy 4 months younger than David, I used to cry in jealousy as you would post happy tidbits of your mellow happy content baby as mine screamed non stop. I have been there, heck still am, he still isn’t the most patient guy in the world and is…well vocal about what he wants! He certainly isn’t the kid sitting happily in circle time! But I’m learning to roll with it! Trust me his screams aren’t as loud to everyone else as they are to you and anyone with kids has also BEEN there too. Don’t let it keep you from going out and about. Ditto on the chiro and probiotics, they seemed to help us, and reflux meds too. Oh and hahaha whoever said you won’t remember this time lied. You will. Vividly. But you’ll be stronger and a little bit more flexible for it 🙂

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Katie says · 04.30.15

Sisters are the BEST. My sister and I are 15 months apart and she is my best friend. What a wonderful example of friendship your boys have in you and your sister! Such a blessing! Prayers to you during this season.

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Kelly says · 04.30.15

You make me feel normal which I so desperately needed this week. I’m hanging out with my 3.5 week old who is struggling with colic in the past week & making me feel so inept. I think sharing the real moments with each other is so important. The reel of amazing moments is fun to read but hearing about the in between is what can bond moms together. Please don’t hesitate to share, just ignore whatever negative comments come & know you have many more supporters.

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Steph says · 04.30.15

Sorry for more unsolicited advice but are you sure it’s colic? My daughter became super fussy around 4 weeks old and starting her on Zantac for reflux made a huge difference. She was still occasionally fussy but not the all day fussy pants she was before the medicine. Usually colic is the rule of 3s- started at 3 weeks old, cries for 3 hours straight (usually in the evenings), for at least 3 days a week. Reflux can be subtle but can mean a very fussy baby all day (and night) long. I’m seeing a lot of well meaning advice saying to try different formulas but last I read you were enjoying breastfeeding Luke and it would be a shame to stop something you’re both enjoying in your search for more sanity and a happier baby, especially if that’s not the culprit. Whatever you choose to do on that front take comfort in knowing you’re doing the best you can for him. Hang in there momma! The days are long but the months (and years) fly by.

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Kristen says · 04.30.15

Hi Kate! First I just wanted to say how GREAT you look being so shortly pp. I am 14 months pp and still struggling to get that baby weight off. Secondly, I just wanted to share that in our moments of crying with Jackson I was certain that he would never stop…now looking back (you are right) it is kind of a blur and I don’t really reflect on them and they DID end!! One day at a time! And now that it is nicer out, maybe some fresh air out on the driveway for the three of you will help!!

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Susan Kerr says · 04.30.15

So refreshing to hear about REAL life! Sometimes the internet with all the pretty pics and uplifting stories can seem so shiny and perfect in comparison to life (mine at least!). I have 2 girls 16 mo. apart. #1 was a perfect, easy baby. #2 oh dear. Cried all the time until she was about 3 mo. She cried if I held her or not and that was probably the most difficult knowing I couldn’t help her. My 16 mo. old would just cling to my leg while I held her crying sister. Ugh. I felt so bad for my older daughter and my baby. It was winter, and it was so hard. I used to say that one of us was always crying. I felt like I was constantly leaking from somewhere. Tried everything – meds for her, changing my diet, you name it. Oh, and she would NOT take a bottle (or pacifier) at all. Tried for months with lots of bottles, people, places. What really worked for her was…….running a vacuum cleaner nearby. Seriously she would just shut down and sleep – until you turned it off. Found the idea in the Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp. Something about creating a “4th” trimester. Go easy on yourself, and take it 1 hr. at a time. Keep taking all the help you can get, and don’t feel one bit of guilt about it. For some reason people telling me “this will pass” made me so frustrated.

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Rachel McCoy says · 04.30.15

My second little guy was colicky, too, and it was so hard. Mainly because I had this expectation on myself that since he was my 2nd, it wouldn’t be as hard as having my first. Wrong! Babies are so humbling in that way. I hope he grows out of it soon. No advice, just wanted to let you know I’ve been there! Glad you have help periodically, too!

My 2nd guy is just a day younger than your David, and I agree–this stage is so fun. I love seeing their little personalities come out.

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Jill says · 04.30.15

You’re doing a great job! Those long days are so incredibly hard! Keep hanging in there!

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Robin Brown says · 04.30.15

We are adopting a little girl and we have had her since she was 2 weeks old. She has been colicky and just now grew out of it at 6 months old. Colic Calm (from walgreens) helped a lot! I really struggled with her crying. I didn’t carry her for 9 months and was trying to bond with her but she cried all the time. It was very difficult. But she is 6 months old now and a completely different baby. We made it past it!
You aren’t alone! A a lot of mother’s understand what you are going through! 🙂

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Teri says · 04.30.15

Hey! Please don’t care/worry about what others say. This is YOUR blog! I enjoy what you write! BTW, I was in North Caroline for the first time this past weekend, and loved it. Everyone liked to hear me talk, they liked my New Jersey accent. LOL

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evelyn says · 04.30.15

I just had my second boy, too! My oldest is 3, and my second is fairly easy-going, but it is still hard. It’s hard to not be able to give the first one the attention he wants so badly all day.

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Lindsay H says · 04.30.15

Kate,

Two little babies close in age is hard. Wonderful and hard all at the same time. There were challenges with my second baby that I hadn’t been through with my first. And I wasn’t trying to navigate though those times with thousands of people watching bits of my life.

I love the things you share on your blog and Instagram. I feel a sense of sisterhood with you even though we don’t know each other. I’m not going to offer you any advice except to say, trust your mothers intuition. You know best. Don’t let the randos on the internet question or belittle your parenting choices.

I love the glimpses you give us into your beautiful family, but if you feel you need to preserve that from the judgements of the Internet, I get that too. I and most of your readers will be here as long as you are posting!

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Emily says · 04.30.15

Hey Kate! Lady, that third paragraph: yes. To me, you’re doing fine with the blog. If I didn’t like it, I would just not read it. (I don’t really understand the point of spending time writing out weird/mean comments for a BLOG that you don’t like. It’s a just blog?)

Thanks for sharing whatever you feel like sharing with us. 🙂

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Echo says · 04.30.15

I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. My oldest was colicky, too, and it was difficult, but they do grow out of it, so there’s hope! 🙂 Hugs to you!

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Betsy says · 04.30.15

I wish you had written this 3 months ago when I was going through the very same thing with my now 5 month old. I felt so alone and at times, like I might actually lose my mind! The crying (from both of us!) was non-stop. We tried everything…gas drops, gripe water, soy formula…nothing worked until we finally made the switch to Nutramigen. It was 100% life changing! We was a totally different baby in less than 2 days. Good luck momma, you’re doing great and I pray your days get easier soon!

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Katie Ball says · 04.30.15

Looks like y’all had so much fun! I love seeing our daughter’s aunts and uncles interact with her! This weekend, our daughter (2 yrs) is going to spend the night at one of her aunt’s house for the first time! She is so excited and asks every morning, “I see Ash-wee today?”! Such good memories.

Speaking of memories… that little bubbly 2 year old girl was once a baby quite like Luke! Fussy… wanted to be held… hated the Ergo. It was difficult! 4-7 p.m. was her 3-hour “witching hour” for the longest time and it was brutal! Hang in there, girl!!! We are expecting our second daughter in September so I am loving all your honest updates of life with two! It’s a beautiful journey, but a hard one as well! You’re doing great!

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Melissa says · 04.30.15

It made me teary thinking about how God used your sister and friends to help you, pray for, and encourage you. He’s such a compassionate and caring God! I, too, have 3 little ones all close in age, with a 4th on the way. My oldest will be four when new baby comes. (Lord, help me!) I know these days are long and everyone says they’ll be over soon, but these are days that God made for us, too, and I was thinking that it’s in these long days where we often forget our Helper is with us. I’m glad you write about these struggles because one day you’ll look back and remember this time and hopefully see just how faithful God was and is. He’s likely teaching you more about patience and understanding and how to rely on Him. Yes, He called you to be the one to parent your boys, and in the same way, He’s still parenting you and caring for your needs. I’m praying for you in these long days, that God will bring His word to your mind in the midst of the crying and that He’ll remind you He is near just as your boys know you are near to them.

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Tyana says · 04.30.15

so cute

check out my newest post
xx
Tyana
cityofglitter.com

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Tanya says · 04.30.15

Tyana,
I have seen you post on other beauty/fashion blogs, and notice that you say very little, but you are intent on asking others to visit your newest post. In all honesty, this seems rather shallow, especially since you said “so cute”. Kate used this post to be very transparent about being a new mom of a colicky baby and really shared her heart. Saying “so cute” causes me to wonder if you looked at the pictures and headed immediately to the comments, I’m trying to help you see that if you want to grow your blog, you need to be genuine with others. By the way, I don’t have a blog, so I have nothing to gain or lose by sharing this with you…just trying to be honest to help you out! ☺️

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Katie says · 04.30.15

Hi Kate,

Hang in there! My son is now 7 months old but was extremely colicky as well. Like many other posters have mentioned, Evan’s was do in part to a dairy allergy. Once I stopped eating dairy he improved but still cried for hours. Then our pediatrician recommended we try pro biotic drops. It hasn’t become very common practice but there’s some supportive research out of Europe that they help with colic. We ended up using Gerber Soothe pro biotic drops, and although a little expensive for such a small bottle, they really did help a lot and might be worth a try if it’s something you’re comfortable with. Best wishes.

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Amy says · 04.30.15

Wow, this post made me emotional! Those little boys are so blessed to be in such a loving home.
I have a lot of empathy for you. My third was colicky and we were very thrown by the challenge. By the time she was born I thought I should be a pro at parenting a newborn (There’s nothing I can’t handle now…) I couldn’t believe how hard it was! Still to date, it was one of the most difficult times for me…lots of crying. But like you said, it’s nothing you remember vividly or hold on to, just a hard phase and it does pass. Thank you for sharing your experiences. You, your sister, and your mom are such special women 🙂

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Emily says · 04.30.15

I was going to suggest maybe he has a sensitivity to dairy or gluten or even something else. a bro biotic may help as well. Hope he gets through this stage too or if something is bothering him you can figure it out:) motherhood is hard and youre doing great! Love to hear about your family!

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Amber says · 04.30.15

You’re not alone! My girls are 16 months apart, and my second kiddo was colicky from the day we brought her home to almost 6 months. It was SO hard. She screamed for about 6 hours a day and for another 3 hours in the middle of every night. Nothing I did comforted her. It was the most difficult thing I’ve dealt with. And yes, like you, I avoided going in public because I didn’t want everyone else to have to listen to my baby scream. She also did not like wraps or carriers or being held close. Sometimes I just had to let her cry in a swing close by while I played with my older daughter. My oldest would walk around the house with her hands over her ears. We found out later that my daughter (the one that was colicky) has a dairy allergy, and I highly suspect that the be the reason for her discomfort those 6 months. Though upon our doctors suggestion, I started giving her a specific strain of probiotics called lactobacillus reuteri. There are studies that show its proven effectiveness in colicky babies (100% of parents saw at least minor improvement). And let me tell you. After about 2 weeks on that, her who personality changed. She was awake and SMILING and not just screaming for the first time ever. They say colick is a result of digestive discomfort, and probiotics are huge helpers in that area, so it makes sense to me that it would help. I have other friends whose babies were colicky as a result of silent reflux. I’m sure you’ve tried everything and talked to everyone, but I thought I’d throw a couple things out there in case you wanted to look into them! Prayers and thoughts go out to you! It’s so hard in the midst of it, but it WILL get better and easier!! You’re doing an awesome job, mama!

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Jessica says · 04.30.15

Thank you for sharing – it couldn’t have been an easy post to write! I love your blog and as a soon to be first time mom I appreciate all the content. Keep being you – it works!

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Ryan Mousty says · 04.30.15

Kate,

I am sorry to hear you are going through this. As a momma, knowing your child is in pain and not being able to help is the hardest thing you will ever have to go through. I feel your pain. I won’t go into the details here but I have my son Tyler’s story here : https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152541440642577&set=o.1421381738133000&type=3&theater

He had bad “colic” “reflux” for the first 5 years of his life and cried 24 hours a day for his first 2 years and that isn’t an overreaction. There is hope! I don’t want to get on the debate about essential oils but we used digestZEN on my sons feet and his issues went right away. When my daughter was 2 weeks old and super fussy we diluted it with coconut oil and rubbed it on her feet and tummy and she calmed right down. As a momma, NOT as an oil advocate, I would love to send you a bottle to use. Try it if you want or not, totally up to you but if our story can help one other person, I consider it a success.

We heard every suggestion from probiotics to acid reflux meds to miralax etc…please message me back and I can send you a brand new bottle.

Trust your mommy gut and know you are doing everything you can to the best of your ability! God will not give you anything you can not handle (although it’s hard to see that sometimes!)

Sincerely,
Ryan (momma of 4 amazing crazy kids)

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Sheri says · 04.30.15

Sending you (((HUGS))) What a blessing that your sister could come and spell you a bit in this challenging time!

As a lot of the moms above, I had a colicky baby, too. The first 6 weeks were the WORST and then I had to take her to daycare because poof! my magical maternity leave bonding time was OVER.

We were desperate and trying EVERYTHING (as one does) – clothes covered in charcoal-laden gripe water, driving in the snow to lull her to sleep and then sitting in the car because moving her was NOT an option, different bottles (I couldn’t produce enough to breastfeed so we had to supplement from the beginning) etc etc. The magic formula for our little one was probiotics in the bottle and VIBRATION. She lived in a bouncy chair that vibrated for weeks- I think it was the combination of not laying flat on her back, feeling cradled and the constant white noise and movement.

Fingers crossed that you find the magic formula for sweet Luke and that it’s more smiles and less tears veryvery soon <3

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Lori says · 04.30.15

Colic is THE WORST! I had my baby last May and my entire maternity leave he was colicky and I rarely took him out in public. Things got better around 4 months for us. I wish you luck and remember it is just a phase. You are a strong momma!

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Sarah says · 04.30.15

My colicky babies (yes, multiple) were from my diet. I had to give up all dairy when I was breastfeeding. If you haven’t already, try eliminating common triggers from your diet. I’ve heard of chocolate, fresh broccoli, and dairy, but I’m sure there are more. Good luck! You are definitely not alone in this.

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Sarah says · 04.30.15

And as an afterthought, I think I remember you mentioning one of your boys has eczema. That is a sign of food reactions. Mine all get it from dairy, too. Not bad enough for me to cut dairy from their diet, but there sure isn’t a lot of dairy in our daily eating.

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Gwenn says · 04.30.15

My son is 10 years old and STILL colicky. =-)

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Robyn says · 04.30.15

Hang in there (as if there was an option not to…) – my son was fussy/colicky for the first 3 months. It’s really hard, and I was in tears almost every evening with him. My pediatrician told me most babies grow out of it around 3 months, and I swear when he turned 3 months I had a totally different baby – happy almost all the time. You got this! It’s hard, but just do what you can and this too shall pass.

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Chelsea says · 04.30.15

firat time commenting because I felt like I needed to share my thoughts… So I was thiiissss close to commentingn yesterday in how I felt like I was watching (reading?) commercials lately with your blog. Sooo many sponsored posts. I have zero issue with bloggers getting paid. I have zero issues with bloggers getting free products. But when post after post after post is sponsored or filled with affiliate links, it gets old and disengenuine. I have a really hard time believing if you (as in blogger, not you specifically) really like the product or just saying nice things or throwing links up to get payed. Anyway… Lately your blog has felt a little like watching commercials and waiting for the show to come back. But! I fully understand why. Duh! Two babies. So I continue to check in, ignoring most posts and reading only the ones that interest me.
However, today’s post was beautiful. It was raw and real and made mothers and woman everywhere see a side of you that, understandably, you don’t share too often. I really hope you share more real life stories like today. So relatable.
I haven’t read all the comments and I’m sure you have everyone giving you all sorts of advice, but my daughter was the same way as you described Luke. We had all he fancy baby gear and the only think that saved me was a cheapo fisher price vibrating bouncer seat. I think $30 from target. I bought it after a recommendation from a friend and as an act of “I’ll try anything!!” That and later being diagnosed with acid reflux. So you can maybe ask your doctor about that. I had to cut alllll dairy out of my diet and put her in meds for a short time.
I hope you get some rest and have lots of good days ahead of you

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Kate says · 04.30.15

I appreciate your honesty. I’ve been barely scraping by over here and I can see how that may be translated through some dry posts. Thanks for the tip on the vibrating chair, I’ll probably go look at it today! 🙂

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Melissa says · 04.30.15

Oh girl I so feel your pain!!! Going from 1 to 2 kids is a hard adjustment. My second baby was a whole different ballgame from my first. First baby, super easygoing, nursed on a routine like clockwork, slept through the night at five weeks (I’m not joking – totally can’t take any credit for it, child just likes his sleep, still does at five years old!), super content to just hang out on the floor on a blanket with some toys, loved being worn in the Ergo while I did things like grocery shopping. Second baby, could and would scream for hours for no reason whatsoever, wanted to nurse ALL THE FREAKING TIME, decided 2 in the morning was the perfect time to have a party for five months, absolutely HATED the Ergo, and was a total diva about getting attention.

So, I get it. Lots of us do. And it can be really hard to convey the whole picture in a blog post, and some people will latch onto one teeny tiny detail and take it totally out of context and blow it way out of proportion no matter what you do. For those people, feel free to utilize the “delete” button. 🙂

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Christen says · 04.30.15

I just have to say I love all the words of encouragement from mamas from all walks! Women spend so much time and effort engaged in mommy wars, and that’s the last thing you need right now. My daughter wasn’t really difficult at the beginning, but I silently suffered from PPD. My doctor was even really dismissive toward me, and it wasn’t until I went back to work and got some separation (and sleep!) that I started to feel normal again. Hearing “this will pass” in the midst of it means absolutely nothing, so just know that you have so many women who feel like they know you and enjoy sitting down to catch up with you and your boys regularly. Thanks for being so open, and I hope you receive encouragement and validation from the scores of women who support you 🙂

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megan says · 04.30.15

Just like other readers have posted, I too had a “colicky” little guy, or so I thought. I am a first time mom and everyone around me was calling my son colicky. I know we live in a world where everyone is quick to diagnose a problem or give something a name and it can be frustrating or scary. I thought for sure it was colic but I didn’t want to just assume that and ride it out because I definitely was shedding some tears! My mom suggested to me that I take a look at what I am eating (I was breastfeeding) and see if there is anything I was eating that he could be sensitive to. I did and I realized that the one thing I consumed on a daily basis was coffee or caffeine (new mom, duh!) so I stopped all caffeine intake and within a few days he was like brand new baby! So like other moms have suggested, maybe it’s just a sensitivity to something? Just thought I would throw that out there…in the end you’re his mom and you have to do what you are most comfortable with and feels right for you and your boys. Best of luck and hang in there mama, you’re doing a great job!!

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Traci says · 04.30.15

I am so sorry you are going through this! My babies are 16 months apart (now 2 and almost 1…gasp!) and I know how difficult it can be some days. Just know that you are doing great!
Hang in there, Mama. I hope things get better real soon!

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jenna says · 04.30.15

Oh Girl… At nine months we are finally seeing the light at the end of the (excruciatingly long) tunnel with Colic. We went of dairy and soy at 2 weeks after there was blood in his stool, as some have mentioned, but that barely made a difference in the colic.
My poor kid couldn’t stand to be put down for 2 seconds, and woke hourly through the night until about 3 weeks ago. Everyone and their mother (and their mothers-friends-sisters-facebook acquaintance) had “miracle” advice for how to “fix” my kid. We couldn’t go out in public either and I spent a lot of time in tears. All I can say is CLING to your hubby and find ways to laugh, and keep praying your way through it.
I think it will be a while before I have a second kid because I’m finally getting to enjoy my little guy and I want to take our time with that. (Also 8 months of sleeping in 1-hour increments made me do the craziest things, like put my keys in the freezer.)
Keep up the good work with those boys! Ignore the internet quarterbacks who know what’s ‘best’ for your family.

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jenna says · 04.30.15

clarifying: the “internet quarterbacks” i’m referring to are not the sweet ladies who’ve commented here.
I’m referring to the above referenced arguments that have occurred in the comments.
The comments here are so supportive! Love the little community spirit going on here!

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Megan says · 04.30.15

Kate, I feel for you. My second daughter, born last August, had colic as well. Getting through that phase of her life was the hardest thing that I’ve ever done. You are smart to realize that it is just a phase, and it will pass — although I know that’s hard to recognize some days. Just know that you aren’t alone, that others recognize the struggle you are going through, and keep asking for and taking the help that you need. Hang in there.

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Lauren Chmielewski says · 04.30.15

Hang in there! Accept help when it’s offered and don’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself. Your sister rocks for staying to help!

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Vicky T says · 04.30.15

You are doing perfectly fine…I remember when I had my third child, I kind of doubted myself as to how I will handle it all but I have managed. My baby is now 2, I have a 6 and 8 year old and I can honestly say now that I am confident on my skills as a mother of 3 but when they are newborn or just babies, oh my, it is tough. The lack of sleep and mommy time are non-existent during those first few months of life but I promise, they will come back. Hang in there, you are you doing a fantastic job my friend!!!

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Mrs. Crazy says · 04.30.15

Keep you head up, This to shall pass. You are doing a fantastic job!!

Keep the faith
Mrs. Crazy

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Lisa Hays says · 04.30.15

I’m sorry this is a rough period for you. Hard to imagine it now but “this, too, shall pass”. I was happy to read that you accept help when it’s there. Re: the blog – I love everything about your blog and it is my special read of the day. Right now, do what you need to take care of you and the boys.

Re: colic. I wonder if your pediatrician would allow a trial of Levsin or Mylicon drops. They helped my nephew as an infant.

Take good care………….

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Evelina says · 04.30.15

Luke is changing so fast. They are both SO adorable. I’m glad to hear you get a little recharge while your sister visited. Family is really the best.

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Lorna says · 04.30.15

Aww sweetie, your honesty is so refreshing. Of course it is hard with essentially two babies. But it DOES get easier, despite what some people will tell you(!). The best thing you can do right now is not be afraid to ask for help, and take it when it is offered. Sometimes you just want to do it all yourself, but there aren’t enough hours in the day for that XX

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Adrienne says · 04.30.15

I’ve so been there … and now my boys are 11 and 8 1/2. I feel like I blinked and here we are but back then – oh. Not so much 😉 I just read a great post today by Monica Swanson (maybe you’ve already heard of her) that just might bring you a bit of comfort. She’s a christian homecoming mom of 4 boys. Here’s the link to the actual post. http://monicaswanson.com/to-moms-with-little-ones-this-is-making-you-beautiful/
Good lucky honey. It does get better (and the icing on the cake – boys LOVE their mamas!).

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Adrienne says · 04.30.15

shoot – meant homeschooling – not homecoming! ha!

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Sherri @Adventures of Love and Marriage says · 04.30.15

Kate,
Thank YOU for being so honest about and open. I enjoy reading your blog and especially your mommy updates because, I am also a mom, and love reading about the joys and struggles, because we ALL have them…it’s relatable. Hang in there. You are doing a fantastic job and those two boys are very lucky to have you.

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Renee says · 04.30.15

I know you are short on time these days and probably won’t make it clear down to my post, BUT you are doing a wonderful job! Sometimes letting yourself open up a bit gives us (your readers) a chance to lift you up! I feel your exhaustion! My son was two when I had my daughter and she had a multitude of colic, allergy, and digestive issues for just shy of a year, which only meant she didn’t sleep and needed to be held allll the time! The best and most real advice someone ever gave me was – “The first six months with a newborn are just about surviving and then, everything sort of clicks.” While our “six months” took a little longer, it’s all a distant memory. I have a bustling five year old and spirited three year old. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but the sleep WILL come! Hang in there and shed a few tears, yell a few yells with David, and cherish the quiet moments – they will pass all too soon 🙂

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Mariah Leinbaugh says · 04.30.15

Wow! Your post is so encouraging to me today! Thank you for sharing your challenges. Man, you have guts. And I respect you for it. I have a nine month old and a three year old and I emote with you so. My nine month old has been much happier and more independent the last month or so but there were some tough days in there. I have two girls and I stay home with them. I love, love, love that I get to do that and am so thankful for it. It is a hard job at times though. I love your blog for multiple reasons. You are intelligent, interesting, and encouraging all at the same time. Thanks again for sharing.

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morgan says · 04.30.15

Hang in there, mama. hats off to those who can do two under two — I knew I wasn’t cut out for it and admire all who can!

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Lisa says · 04.30.15

I am so sorry things are challenging for you right now! And I would think any mother reading this would never debate or judge over it and just support because though we might not remember every rough moment, we all have been there! Sounds like things are a bit harder than the average for you lately though. We went through that same thing with our little girl. She was very colicky. We are a military family so we live very far from family and friends. I spent many days crying while I rocked a fussy baby. I heard it all “you will miss this time”, “it goes by fast”. The worst is when people would look at me as if there was something I could do differently to fix things. As an inexperienced mother I believed them at first. Of course the only real remedy is time. You can eliminate all suspect foods from your diet (I lived on chicken breast and rice for months) and it might help a little but time is the real medicine. I hope writing about it and seeing you are not all alone on those long days when you are on your own with both boys helps. I am so glad for you that you have family that can visit though I know the day to day stuff is still really hard. Anyways, I haven’t been much help but I truly know those tears and tough times and I truly hope it passes quickly for you!

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Kelly Pallesen says · 04.30.15

Thank you for being vulnerable and honest! You are not alone in your struggles and I hope you can be encouraged by others who are walking with you in the beautiful but difficult days of having young kids! They sure are cute we have an 18 month old and have been trying for 10 months for another, so it’s always helpful for me to have a realistic perspective of what having 2 kids might look like as I tend to idealize it the longer we have to wait! With that said, I still pray everyday for the blessing of another one soon and would appreciate a prayer as I pray for you! I know you understand the pain of disappointment and loss each month.

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Jaclyn says · 04.30.15

Yep, been there. Thankfully, I was one of those people who caught it early on. Cried myself to sleep after finally making the decision to switch from breastfeeding to a lactose sensitive formula (used good ol’ Up and Up Target brand…compared to Similac Sensitive). Literally changed my little guy within 48 hours. Hard decision, but sooooooooo worth it in the end. Happy Baby, Happy Mom, Happy Dad, Happpppyyyyyyyy!!! Praying for you!

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Sherry says · 04.30.15

I have 3 boys and my 1st (6 years old) was on 5 different formulas before his belly settled on Alimentum (not cheap) AND a reflux medicine till 6 months old, my 2nd (3 years old) was on about 4 different ones and my 3rd (1 year old) was on several before he decided Nutramigen was good for him and we could eventually settle on Gentlease. It’s trial and error, unfortunately, and the baby is the guinea pig. It does get better! Hang in there mama!

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Natalie says · 04.30.15

I don’t have kids, but I guess I don’t really understand why people complain about having a particularly difficult child. I mean, wasn’t it your choice to have a baby in the first place? It’s hard for me to be empathetic about a situation someone put themselves into on purpose. But good luck!!

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Amanda says · 04.30.15

It’s not only “hard for you to be empathetic” – it’s also obviously hard for you to be kind.

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Tanya says · 04.30.15

Dear Amanda,
I’m hoping Natalie’s comments were due to ignorance and not to unkindness. And Natalie, as a mother of five grown children and a soon-to-be grandmother, please know that the ladies that are sharing are not complaining, but sharing frustrations they have in common. Trust me, I’ll bet each of these mothers have felt guilt at one time or another for not feeling giddy during this trying time of colic, but they are exceedingly tired and worn out. Kudos to each mother for empathizing with Kate and to those who have lovingly shared suggestions to help her out. Natalie, they’re not complaining, they’re in a shared sisterhood called motherhood! ☺️

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Julie says · 05.01.15

I loved that Tanya! 🙂 Put a smile on my face and couldn’t be more accurate!!!

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Michelle says · 04.30.15

Natalie,
Sometimes when we don’t understand something because we have never been there it is better not to say anything. I have learned that throughout the years. I have five children, and I have had the fussy baby and I remember not understand before he came what it was like to deal with that everyday.
So please take some well meaning advice, and just don’t say anything, and maybe one day, Lord willing, you will be blessed with children, and then you will understand.

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Amanda says · 04.30.15

I don’t know if you’ll even have time to read these comments, but I wanted to offer a few encouraging words!

My first baby was colicky too. He would scream his head off for hours on end, and since I’m also a stay-at-home mom… it really wore me out. I would cry because I felt sorry for him. I would cry because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough to soothe or comfort him. I would cry because I just couldn’t listen to the crying for one more second. I would cry because only nursing seemed to calm him down, and my husband was convinced that our son “didn’t like him.”

Mothering a colicky infant is HARD. And I didn’t have an active toddler, to boot! No one would blame you for breaking down on occasion. Just know that poor little Luke WILL grow out of it. These difficult days will soon be a distant memory for both of you! Better days are coming!

In the meantime, keep on keeping on. You’re still doing so, so, so much more than I ever felt capable of: taking photos, blogging, showering (!!!), cooking, getting out of the house once in a while. So stay strong, mama – you’re doing better than you think you are! XOXO

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Jocelyn says · 04.30.15

You keep on keeping on, mama! Being in the trenches is hard, and telling your story while others want to share their opinions is hard too! I love your focus on narrating life as it is for YOU as you grow, expand, learn, and step into the role as a mother to your sweet boys. Keep your heart up! Thanks for sharing all that you do. I have a 5 month old and a 5 year old, and it is welcome to hear other moms share the real moments.

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Jade says · 04.30.15

I love reading your blog! I had my second baby about a week before you had Luke, and I love relating to things you are saying. Some days are very hard, at it’s easy to feel discouraged, but there are good moments too and those trump the hard ones. I appreciate your honesty..so many moms try to display only one side of the journey (but we are all in need of more honesty so we don’t beat ourselves up over the job we are doing). I loved the comment that God picked you to be their mother. I often question the job I am doing and if I’m equalizing my time between my two girls enough, and I should also remember that God trusted me to raise them and he had faith that I could handle the journey he set for me. You’re an inspiration to so many moms, keep breathing day by day…we will make it! 🙂 (And don’t forget to add yourself to the daily list of “to-do’s”. If you can do something that helps make you happy, you’ll be a happier mommy for your boys.

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Aleassa says · 04.30.15

It’s so nice when family comes around and helps! I hope little Luke starts feeling better soon! I understand the colic issue, all 4 of my children had it. As it turned out, their colic was actually reflux (they spit up horribly, all the time, sometimes projectile across the room!) which we eventually eliminated by switching to Alimentum formula. It was very expensive, but God always provided. It was worth it to have happy and peaceful babies.
Not saying that’s what’s going on with your little guy, only saying I hope you guys can figure it out soon and get some rest, because I know is how hard it is! I think I saw one time that you use essential oils sometimes. You could try rubbing diluted lavender on his tummy, just a thought!

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Laura Harring says · 04.30.15

Oh, Kate, I so want to hug you! Thank you, thank you for sharing your heart this morning. I think sometimes it’s so easy to assume you celebrity moms have it all together, and life is perfect in every way for you. It’s easy to think you don’t struggle with the same things the rest of us do and I can’t even begin to tell you how nice it is to know that your life is just as real as ours, and fussy babies live in your homes, too. Thank you for being so transparent. It sure makes the mile high pile of laundry I’m staring at, and the toddler who flat out refuses to eat anything other than cheese puffs more bearable knowing all of us with kids have the same struggles every day. Hope your afternoon has been quiet and peaceful! 🙂

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Bailey says · 04.30.15

This post brought tears to my eyes. My second baby was also colicky and my son was only 11 months old when he was born. We moved to a new state with no family while my husband started a job that was 80+ hours a week. I remember driving around in a new place with my newborn son crying in the back and I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. I called my sister and just cried. Your doing great! This will pass. My boys are 1 and almost 2 and their relationship (even the fights) make it all worth it. Hugs!

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Aleassa says · 04.30.15

P/S my youngest two are boys 18 months apart, aged 2 & 3, and they are such good buddies! You’re going to love it!

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Cheyenne says · 04.30.15

you probably won’t even see this but we have all been there. Having to children close together is hard but the rewards are well worth it. My son had colic and it was hard but there is an end in sight we all do it. Don’t worry about what people have to say you do what’s right for you and your family there is always someone waiting to criticize pay them no mind. Try to enjoy the good someday you will actually miss all this craziness. You are doing great.

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Sally at Real Mom Nutrition says · 04.30.15

My second son was also colicky, so my heart goes out to you. My husband and I are only half-joking when we say we have PCSD (post colic stress disorder). It was one of the hardest times of my life, dealing with colic in a sleep-deprived state. There were a few moments when I really thought I was losing my mind and I cried *frequently*. I’m happy to report that my son is now a champion sleeper and of course an awesome kid. 🙂 I wish you all the luck and strength in getting through it because it WILL end!

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Meg says · 04.30.15

I only have one child and no experience with colic, but I have been seeing God lately drawing me closer to Him as I recognize more and more that my strength is not enough for parenting! I’ll pray for His grace and strength for you during this trying time. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.

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Bonnie says · 04.30.15

I have missed the debates in the Comments, probably because I may not read the comments on the parenting posts as much as I might on others. Maybe you could just turn off comments on those if they inspire debate?

My neighbors had a colicky baby, and ohmygoodness I can’t imagine. We would try to give them breaks, but they had ways of holding her that I guess soothed her…or else she just knew we were not them. And my nephew cried more than any baby I’ve ever seen–and I don’t think his was colic. He is now the best almost-twelve year old you’d ever want to me. So hang in there, if possible have some people you can call on to spell you (even if you pay them), and know that these days will not last forever. Having two so close together is challenging for sure.

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Tanya says · 04.30.15

Hi Kate, I’ve been following your blog for a long time and have never commented before, but just wanted to say I’m praying for you. Mothering is both hard and beautiful, and it breaks you in ways we’ve never experienced. Give yourself Grace, heaps of it, and be gentle to yourself. You are the best mom for your boys. Bless you.

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Jamie says · 04.30.15

Hang in there, Kate! It’s easier to know that it’s just a season with the second one, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t hard to go through. I nursed both of my kids through it and dietary changes made ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD!! My second is 6 months and still waking 1-3 times/night for feedings so I’m available anytime for questions, venting, etc. We mommies have to stick together!

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Melissa says · 04.30.15

My youngest was colicky, and she is 5 now. Your precious guy will be over this and you will look back amazed how long ago it was. One thing we have noticed is our colicky one is also more prone to airborne allergies and sinus problems. I am convinced the reason they can’t identify the exact cause of colic is because it is different for every baby. Hang in there, it WILL get better. I remember just crying from being overwhelmed too. It will eventually get better.

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valerie says · 04.30.15

LONG time reader, first time commenter. I love your blog Kate. I am about 7 weeks away from my first arrival and we too tried for 14 months before we got pregnant successfully (had a early miscarriage 11 months in). I can relate so well to you and I love hearing about your real motherhood experiences. Even the not so fun ones. I can’t put into words what it means to me that you are able to share the not-so-glamorous side of motherhood. I sometimes fear that because I struggled, that I will not be “allowed” to complain. I am sure you feel/have felt the same way. I just wanted to say thank you for being real and authentic. I have prayed for your family many times and will continue to do so. Blessing!!

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Jenn says · 04.30.15

Thank you for sharing. Motherhood is hard sometimes, and I think that we, as women, should be kind and loving to each other. 🙂
Thank you also, for sharing the encouragement your friend gave you. I needed to hear that today. Lately I’ve kind of felt like one big parenting fail, and it’s a good reminder for me that God chose ME to mother my little. I know He’ll give me the strength and grace to get through.
You are wonderful and enough. Keep up the good work!

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Cindy Hettenhausen says · 04.30.15

Kate – First, let me say…I LOVE your blog!! You could not be any cuter or fun to watch! Your blog is a breath of fresh air! Secondly, I am a mother of three boys – 17, 15, and 10. My first was also extremely collicky and fussy…unfortunately, for his first three years. He is now 17 and an absolute joy!! You WILL turn the corner. I promise! One thing I have learned the hard way, is to really believe in yourself. I spent my twenties and thirties worrying about what other people would think, sometimes at the expense of my family. As I’ve gotten older, I have learned that you really need to trust yourself. Things will fall into place…

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amber says · 04.30.15

Hey there sweet momma. Thank you for this post and your candidness. On my way to work this morning I prayed to be humbled as a mother after getting frustrated over small things. Your post was timely – It is the hardest job we will do. Praying for you and your littles. For what it’s worth we found my now 4 month old’s dairy sensitivity and reflux at his 1 month apt. We’ve been dairy free since with a daily dose of zantac and we’ve got our groove back. Enjoy those sweet boys!

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Valerie says · 04.30.15

First of all, thank you for sharing your heart. It can be so frustrating and hard to be a mom sometimes, but it isn’t always popular to admit that. Hang in there! You are such a wonderful mom, and as a mom of 4 myself, I can tell you

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Shelli Whitlock says · 04.30.15

Kate,

I am not yet a mother and an aspiring beauty aficionado but I so enjoy reading your posts. I love checking out all of your beauty and clothes selections and seeing your boys grow in your pictures. I can only imagine how hard it is having a colicky baby but just know you have my support and thoughts from Charleston, SC.

You’re doing great!

Shelli
Charleston, SC

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Bridget Hobbs says · 04.30.15

I know what you are going through!! I went through the same thing when I had my son last year. It felt like it was never going to end. Now that he is 11 months it is much better, but now he is teething and having a terrible time with it. I am so glad that you have relatives to visit you. I will be praying for you.

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Shelly Lovelace says · 04.30.15

Hang in there, Kate! Prayers are coming for you from VA.

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Suzy says · 04.30.15

Hi Kate! I love reading your blog, and I can really relate to this particular one. My son was colicky about 6 weeks after being born, and I broke down in tears many times at a loss as to what to do in order to soothe and console him. Someone mentioned to my husband and I about taking him to a chiropractor. I was skeptical at first. Neither my husband nor myself had ever been to one. I checked out different doctors and asked about their treatment methods and found one that was very gentle and had experience working with infants and children. We found after about 4-6 treatments his colic was almost completely gone. Worth looking into! Best of luck!

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Sherry says · 04.30.15

I think one of the reasons so many of us love your blog, Kate, is because of the fact that you are honest and speak from your heart and soul. You don’t write or try to imply that your life is perfect and that you have all the answers for everything – you are REAL and relatable! Your friend was oh so right when she said God chose you to be the mother to these two beautiful boys. He waited until just the right time, when he knew you and Justin were strong enough to handle the challenge – and provide all the love and guidance those two little stinkers will need. I’m the mom to three boys – 29, 22 and 14 – and rest assured every age will bring challenges (and oh the life changes that arise when you become a grandparent!). Each stage of their lives is a learning opportunity for both of you and it never ends. It is so very exciting. And tiring. And frustrating. And rewarding. And trying. And beautiful. And magical. And absolutely-beyond-words wonderful!!! You will be exhausted and emotional at each stage; now it is more challenging because you’re losing sleep and they can’t pinpoint (or even tell you) what’s wrong. So LEAN girlfriend! LEAN!!! (You are so smart for taking the help when it’s offered – so many moms just can’t or won’t.) We all love you Kate and feel like we know you personally – we are here for you when you need to vent and whenever you need a virtual hug and supportive words. Debates and moderation aren’t something you need to focus on or worry about, so just skim past those and get to the words that brighten your day, life your soul and provide a little inner peace. We’ve got your back!! 🙂

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Jen says · 04.30.15

Kate, your boys are just adorable! Seeing pictures of them reminds me of when my boys were that age! I always love reading your blog! You are so honest and true and remember that you won’t always have a colicky baby as they do grow up way too fast!

http://www.appledapplepancakes.blogspot.com

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Maggie says · 04.30.15

This is your blog and all of us love it! Thank you for letting us into your life and sharing your joys and struggles. I love every aspect of your blog, babies, beauty, all of it! You are doing a wonderful job as a mother, your boys are just darling! Even though I am a stranger, I feel as though you are a kindred spirit indeed!
God Bless you every day, and thank you again for being honest and transparent!

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Angela says · 04.30.15

Oh you poor thing! One of the things I hated hearing when I was going through something similar (just a few short months ago) was ‘it will get better’. But eventually it does. One day you will realise that Luke hasn’t screamed for several days. And do a happy dance.

You sound like you are doing all the right things and write a remarkably coherent blog for what you’re going through. My kids are 18 months apart and my baby has reflux. That screaming ALL day just gets you down so badly doesn’t it. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I had several doctors tell me my son had colic. He didn’t, it was reflux and he has a dairy allergy. If you do suspect something else may be going on, keep taking your baby back to the doctor until someone hears you.

My son is 9 months old and is a pretty happy chappie these days, but the first four months were horrendous. Hang in there Momma, the happy dance day is coming.

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Kimberly says · 04.30.15

Several things…

1) That museum looks AMAZING! My 5 year old would die if he could play in the fire truck and ambulance.

2) Those waffles look delicious!

3) Luke is a doll. Love those pictures of him.

4) You’re doing great! My second baby (I also have two boys) has been the complete opposite of the first. He much prefers screaming bloody murder to most things. Lots of prayers and breathing exercises get me through each day. Love my guys to pieces but it’s hard. Your boys are blessed to have you as their mother. Make sure to focus on them and you first (and Justin), the blog comes last.

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Tricia says · 04.30.15

i know that you know this {and i’m sure lots of other people have said it, too, but you are not alone! days with a colliky baby are SO hard and I know that you cherish luke and wouldn’t wish your time away, but they are just. so. hard. it will get easier. just wanted to throw my two cents worth into the debate (if there is one, which there should’t be, but i know what you mean about blog comments!!!) thinking of you and praying for easier moments with your littles very soon! take care of yourself.

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Lesley from NE says · 04.30.15

Oh, Kate! I am so sorry about the colic. My son was colicky….he is seven now, and it was hard. I slept on the couch with him, upright for about the first three months of his life. He would only sleep to Hawaiian music. =) I know you said Luke does not like wraps either, and that is tough. I had an Ella Roo and my son lived in it. Just know, it will get better. It will probably be like a light switch….all of a sudden it will be gone. That is how it happened for us. We hit the six month mark and everything changed. Hang in there! It does get better.

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Lesley from NE says · 04.30.15

P.s. I read where Angela said her children have had re flux, and my son did also. That is why he was so fussy. Hang in there!

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misty says · 04.30.15

Kate – your friend Jenna is very wise! If you can remember that God created you specifically for them as He created them for you & Justin, it will definitely make things a little more tolerable. Not that it will solve everything & make it all go away 🙂 But hang in there, I promise you, it WILL get better. And one day that phase you’re in will morph into another & you won’t even realize it happened for a bit. You are such a blessing to so many; I am glad you shared a little so that hopefully we can be a blessing to you!!!

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Whitney Wright says · 04.30.15

Hi Kate,

Just wanted to encourage you….hang in there. I had my second son a year ago (also named Luke) and I very affectionately call him my Terror Child! He had reflux for 3 mo and food allergies for 6 mo and has had sleep issues all year. There were many days that I wasn’t sure I would make it…and still uncertain 😉 My first son was the easiest baby ever and so my Luke has been a rude awakening. He also happens to be the most smiley, laughing, silly baby (when not screaming) so I’ve just learned to cherish those moments. You will make it through. Just use the good smiles and fun times to carry you through the hard times and continue taking people up on their help. I had all the same questions for God that you seem to be having and your friends’ reminder is a good one for me too. You are all the more brave and amazing in my mind cuz I have 4 years between my boys so take courage in the fact that God has given you these two boys with very little time between them with full confidence that you can not only handle it but excel with it! You’re doing great!

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Evelyn says · 04.30.15

Sorry to hear about the struggles! Remember that nothing lasts forever. You also had tough times when David was not latching well or teething. It will pass! If one baby is easy that already helps right?!

You could try some alternative things like essential oils or (Bach) flower medicine. And don’t worry, you are doing your best, the boys are healthy and your family is lovely!!

Best

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Megan says · 04.30.15

Your honesty and openness is so admirable, and your reluctance to share too much is perfectly understandable too! Thank you for this post. It’s lovely – really shares your loving mama’s heart for your two little boys.

Your friend was absolutely right to tell you that God chose YOU, nobody else, to be mother to David and Luke. There is a Max Lucado children’s book called “Just In Case You Ever Wonder” written from the perspective of a dad to his daughter that is just as heart-warming for parents as children. My favorite part is as follows:
“And since you are so special, God wanted to put you in just the right home…where you would be warm when it’s cold, where you’d be safe when you’re afraid, where you’d have fun and learn about heaven. So, after lots of looking for just the right family, God sent you to me. And I’m so glad He did.”

I know that when I’m going through a rough patch, it is a wonderful reminder to know that God could have blessed someone else with my children…but He chose me. Because nobody knows our gifts and imperfections as intimately as our Heavenly Father, and He knows exactly what sort of parent each child needs. You are the perfect mother for your children.

Lots of love and prayers for you and your family, Kate!

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Wendy says · 04.30.15

My boys are 17 months apart and are now 13 and 15. The first six months are the toughest! Take help when you can and take time for yourself as often as you can. Late nights at target worked for me. You can do it! I guarantee it!

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Katy says · 04.30.15

Kate I just wanted to tell you that it will pass! I was in your shoes 4 years ago with a colicky baby and a 20 month old. There were some really rough days and I thought I could hack it. I feel like after 6 months is when it started to get easier. Hang in there, mama!

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Kelly says · 04.30.15

Kate-

I too have a Luke, and his start in life sounds just like your Luke. His older brother is 24 months 4 days older, so a bit more than your spacing, but still…I get it. It was so hard to have a infant that needed me all.the.time and a toddler at the same time. Give yourself some credit, and do what works. Really. If you need to cry, cry. If you need a break, take one if you are able. It is ok, you are doing the very best you can. My Luke is about to be 5 and is still as feisty, hot headed, and stubborn as the day he was born. To say it has been a challenge to figure out how to parent him is an understatement…I still have no clue. In talking to his pediatrician one frustrating day after I vented on how hard he was to discipline, and I felt like I was failing, he told me that the things I see as challenges to parent him very well could turn out to be great gifts to him as he grows. All of his fire and emotion could translate into a driven, successful adult. It helped me not look at our challenges as a negative. I know it may not mean much, but it was an ah-hah moment for me. I had another when you mentioned what your friend said…I was chosen to be his mother. Thank you for that, I needed it:)

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suzanne says · 04.30.15

Hang in there. My oldest had colic. She didn’t sleep through until 4 months. BUT then she was a total delight. It sounds like you have some great support. That’s great. Don’t forget, though….sometimes moms need a time out. Just walk around the outside of the house if you get super frustrated. (It’s ok if they’re both crying) We’ve all been there.

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Tina says · 04.30.15

You are doing great! I have 2 boys, 10 months apart. They are both 1 right now, for a few weeks! It was really hard last year when I had my newborn son, he was colicky and cried for 6 months! I was constantly upset I didn’t have time to spend with my firstborn and that he was missing out on my attention. Just keep remembering it’s temporary. Now my guys are just learning to enjoy each other and start to play together.

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Rosie says · 04.30.15

Kate – you’re doing great! Sorry to hear that some reader comments can bring you down – so I thought I’d chime in and say you’re doing great!!!

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Cindy says · 04.30.15

Sorry little Luke is colicky but you’ve got the right idea. Take any help you can get and get out for a walk, short Target trip, etc…sometimes just a breather can put it all back into perspective. I agree with the dairy suggestions too, could make a difference pretty quickly. Beautiful family.

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keely says · 04.30.15

Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

I have been there too, it is tremendously challenging. You are not alone!

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Sarah says · 04.30.15

Although I’ve never commented, I read your blog daily & sometimes several times a day. With a son 15 months old and a daughter on the way (due in July), I can so relate to so much of what you write & have picked up some great beauty tips as well.

My son was colic from several weeks and well sometimes I swear he still is. Even the doctor’s always knew when we were coming because he had a scream/cry like no other; when his colic finally started to fade some they were shocked to see him not screaming for once. It was honestly the hardest days of my life and my only fear with this new addition is going through that again.

Every time someone tells me “every child has their days” I know they have never been through a colicky infant because it is the most emotionally and physically exhausting thing ever. I don’t miss the newborn stage WHATSOEVER, the toddler stage is so much more fun and sooo much happier. Prayers for you and Luke. I feel for you.. Truly do.

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Christy says · 04.30.15

Kate, I truly appreciate your honesty when it comes to raising your boys. My guys are 16 months apart (now 1 &2) and the first couple months we’re the most challenging and I remember doing a lot of crying. You’re trying to make sure the oldest is happy and doesn’t get ignored, but also make sure you’re spending time with the baby. It does get better … I promise. This 1st year will go by so much faster than it did with David. Keep your head up … You’re a great mommy!!

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Kelly says · 04.30.15

Hang in there, mama! My kids are 17 months apart and #2 had extreme colic. I can relate to the post and totally thought that phase was the equivalent to first level torture of a terrorist. Just breathe and know that your boys think you’re perfect every moment of the day- no matter who’s crying!

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Tessa says · 04.30.15

I have never commented before but after reading this I just had to say “hi’ and give you an encouraging word. We to had a very colicky baby and his name just happens to be Luke as well. We had some rough long evening/nights for the first few months, he absolutely hated everything, the car seat, the stroller, the carrier, I even tortured myself with a dairy-free diet for two months with no improvement. The only thing that soothed him was sitting on an exercise ball and bouncing him. We always joked that clearly he wanted to be an only child because he pretty much scared us out of ever having another baby lol. But here I am 10 months later and that grouchy little guy turned into the sweetest, most laid back baby. I don’t really have any advice or tips, just wanted to say, Ive been there and I know how hard it is, hang in there Momma! Sounds like you have a great perspective and are doing a fabulous job!

P.S We lived in Cary for 5 years and absolutely loved, we miss that area so much!

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Holly says · 04.30.15

You are such a great mom! These early days are long and hard, but soon his belly will mature and things will get easier. Hang in there mama!

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Maria Peters says · 04.30.15

Oh, Kate, along with many others who have commented, we went through a similar journey with our boys. My oldest, Matthew, was a relatively easy baby; however, our second, Luke, was very colicky and had eczema + thrush. We had allergy testing done and he had a milk and gluten sensitivity so I stopped eating those foods, because I was breastfeeding, and the colic and rash cleared up in short order. However, he was so used to being held all of the time and waking at night that it took months to resolve his sleeping issues. By God’s grace we made it though those first several months of frustration, helplessness and sleep deprivation. Luke is now a happy, healthy, vibrant 2 1/2 year old who is a diligent napper and sleeps well at night. He is extremely determined and an excellent communicator. He lights up our life so much and loves to snuggle and show love. Keep your head lifted to the Lord for his guidance and strength through this challenge. The road on the other side is paved in gold. You can do this! As your friend said, you were specially fashioned to be the mama to your boys and they were made with you in mind. You are a match (literally) made in heaven, fashioned by our gracious, sovereign Lord.

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Katy says · 04.30.15

I look forward to reading your blog everyday- and scoping out instagram for cute pics of your boys! I’m not a mom; but am an aunt to 2 beautiful kiddos. I try to make time with them exciting, memorable and entertaining! My husband and I have truly enjoyed these 2 kids-ages 7 & 6. If we are blessed with children in the future- I know I can count on my sis to do the same for me!
Love your blog- it’s the only blog I read regularly. I enjoyed the comments today- so nice to lift each other up and encourage each other through the hard times!
#ladiesunite

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Kristi Craig says · 04.30.15

Sisters are the best, aren’t they? I’ve been able to help my sister a lot with her kids in the last few years and it has really helped me to gain an appreciation for motherhood and all that you go through, especially when you add another child to the mix.

Kristi
http://www.beloverly.com

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Leticia Justus says · 04.30.15

Kate , I have been there and done that ( my kids are now 15,12,& 10 ) . Let me first off say that you are such a wonderful & great mommy to David and Luke !!! They are so blessed to have you as their mommy . You are a beautiful example of real motherhood in action -the smooth days and the rough ones .
It’s so great the Lauren was able to come and visit . You are doing the right thing by asking for help when needed . It’s hard and humbling to ask for help but it’s better than BURN OUT .
For Luke’s collick – Maybe try the health food store and see if they have some suggestions . They could offer some advice about maybe some foods that YOU are eating that may be bothering his tummy through nursing or maybe foods that you’ve given him ( not sure if he’s eating yet ) . When my daughter was a fussy baby I gave her homeopathic chamomile tablets that dissolve on the tongue – I believe the brand is Hylands found at health food stores – that eased her attitude to settle down for a nap or being able to be carried in a pack .
Kate , know that I will be praying for you .
-Leticia

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Cindy says · 04.30.15

Both my boys were colicky and it sucks and is emotional and hard. My biggest tip for you:
1. Get help! I hired a local college girl to be my mother’s helper a few hours everyday so I wasn’t alone with the boys all day. I wouldn’t leave her alone with the kids, but she came with me everywhere as that extra set of hands and support system. It even helps when you are at home for someone else to entertain the older one or hold the sleeping baby.

It will get better—once he starts sitting up, it will suddenly be gone and you can breathe again.

Lastly, raising kids is a marathon—at this age, your kids
Won’t even remember these details of their life, so get and use help! 🙂 take care of yourself too—very important!!! -Cindy from San Francisco

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Julie says · 05.01.15

I just want to say I love reading about your journey (the ups AND the downs)! It is so refreshing and comforting to know that not only do you experience trials and tribulations (like us non-blogging parents 😉 ) as well, but you are honest about them. Also, there is a famous Youtube star whose father would say during difficult times, “We’re just making memories.” It’s something I remind myself when the going gets rough! Keep on keeping on Kate! It will get better soon! And thank you for sharing!

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Kyla says · 05.01.15

Hi Kate –

I don’t have any different advice on help for his colic, but I wanted to leave a comment to encourage you anyways! Specifically because you had a post on February 18th about things you’ve learned as a parent and topic #3 in that list was exactly the message I needed to read at that time. So thank you.

I hope that this too is a phase that will pass soon for you (and for Luke)!

Mommyhood is harder and less fairy-tale like than anyone could ever imagine before having kids. I don’t know if there is any way to convey that message to someone who hasn’t yet walked the road……but we’d all be doing ourselves such a service if we were more honest about the reality from the outset instead of painting a scene of sunshine and rainbows! It can be so uplifting to know you aren’t the only one, you’re doing nothing wrong and we all know how much you love your child regardless.

Sending a hug from one mommy to another! The hard times make the good times that much sweeter 🙂

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Nicole says · 05.01.15

Feeling for you right now. It’s such a helpless feeling to not be able to soothe your baby. My first and third children had colic (the second one seemed like a piece of cake!) and it’s a very difficult thing to endure. The toughest thing for me was not being able to fix the problem and wondering if I was missing something. My first one I stopped nursing and switched to a “gentle” formula which seemed to help. My youngest I continued to nurse without manipulating my diet and she just seemed to outgrow it. She is now 5 months and is such a sweet little girl that loves to laugh, be cuddled, and is all-and-all a content baby.

Thank you for opening up about a personal matter – there are so many of us that are struggling with the same issue and it helps to hear other people’s stories. Your boys are lucky to have you as their mom!

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Larissa says · 05.01.15

Dear Kate
I’m sure you have followers all over the planet. I’m following your blog from Bern, Switzerland and I just love it. I’m not a blog reader at all, but somehow I got stuck to yours. I’m a mother of a 6 months old boy, who is the sweetest now, but who cried for 3.5months. I struggled a lot. Most of all I had the worst selfdoubts, because every women with child I’ve seen in public seemed so happy and in love! So I’m just thankfull that you are honest and have the heart to tell the truth. You helped me a lot! I hope this encourages you to continue blogging about your private life… I wish you all the best.

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Katherine says · 05.01.15

Dear Kate,
Hang in there you are doing an absolute fantastic job with your kids. From reading your posts and seeing photos there is no shadow of a doubt that your kids are happy and healthy and that you are giving them all that they need Love. Please know that you are so very blessed to have a husband and 2 gorgeous children. Even in the tough times God is there and He oh so cares about you and what you are going through. Hold on to his words Cast all your cares on Him for he cares about you. You are a beautiful and amazing lady. When I come home from work from looking after 16 babies I come to your blog for some rest and relaxation. I love how honest and real you are. I love hearing about your past chair work and your hair tutorials as my hair is so think that’s is nice to think that maybe some day my hair will slightly resemble your hairstyles. I love hearing about your husband and what he is up to and hearing about the things that David is in to like his toy friends. And yes I do love Luke’s smile too. You have so much knowledge and experience that all of us could take a leaf out of your book! Thank you for being so willing to be open and letting me and the rest of us into a part of your world.

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Diane says · 05.01.15

As a mother of two now teenagers I can tell you the early years are by far the hardest!!! My daughter was also very colicky and that turned out to be reflux, she was the most unhappy baby in the world and I too hated leaving the house with her – people would stop me and ask if she was ok! When they’re able to sit up by themselves their tums become more settled, and various things helped – probiotics, dilute camomile tea, sleeping on her tummy – but really the screaming didn’t stop for years. At one point, aged about four, she even told her Dad that ‘screaming was the boss.’

Hang on in there, babyhood is everyone on a steep learning curve, each baby presents their own requirements and you will find that its poor David who ‘just fits in’ (as so many people took me my new baby would do.) In the end every family dynamic is different and you can only do things the way they happen for you. I’m loving having my teenagers, NOW I feel it is all worth!!!

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Amba says · 05.01.15

Hi Kate

Just wanted to say that your doing an awesome job, being a mum isnt always easy.

Im a mum of 3 and each day presents itself with new challenges, whether it be trying to entice my exceptionally energetic 3 year old little boy to go to sleep or referee a disagreement between my 7 and 10 year old girls, its always full on. I do my best to remind myself that im trying my best, to take a deep deep ddddeeeeepppppp breath and cut myself some slack.

Some days will be harder than others and other days will make you wonder why you even worried 🙂

Be kind to yourself, you are human, you are beautiful, you are a mum xxxxx

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Maggie says · 05.01.15

Wow – so many comments! Just wanted to add my 2 cents about colicky babies who turn out to have milk allergies. My oldest screamed for hours after feeding, and was just miserable. She even had the blood droplets in her diapers, which alerted us to consider allergies. Apparently milk protein allergy is pretty common in newborns. I cut out all dairy which was hard but SO WORTH it, she became a different (happy!) baby.

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Jamie says · 05.01.15

I hear ya girl!!! Your post resonated with me so much. I am a mom to a 5 yo, 3 yo, and a 5 mo. These past 5 months on maternity leave have been wonderful but definitely have NOT been easy. I’m a teacher and plan to stay home till the baby is 9 mo. My mom takes care of my 90 yo gram and has not been able to help out much, my in-laws work full-time, and my hubby works 14 hour days. Some days I feel like I’m going to completely lose it, but then there are those moments. The ones I’m so grateful to be able to experience. I try to soak them in and imprint them in my brain, so that I always remember how special these days are. I love what your friend said. God chose you to raise those boys for a reason. I will do my best to recall those words when the baby is screaming, and my 5 and 3 year old are arguing. Btw, we have 3 girls! Lord help us when all three are “at it!” Did I mention, we have 2 dogs and one just had surgery and follows me everywhere with his cone of shame, constantly running into my legs! Ahhh, these are the days! 😉 No, but seriously. They truly are and I will miss them terribly when they’re gone. Thank you for your blog. I read it daily and truly enjoy every aspect of it. Wish I lived closer and our kids could play together!

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Faith says · 05.01.15

I just wanted to encourage you – you’re doing great! I’m praying you won’t grow weary in all the good you are doing through the Lord’s strength. My little guy wasn’t colicky, I didn’t have a 16 month old, and I STILL found those first few months so challenging. Praying for more smiles and more joy. Thank you for sharing and being real!

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Ami says · 05.01.15

This is so rings true for me. My crew are barely 13 months apart. The oldest was not walking yet and while not colicky she is just the most intense strong willed person I have ever met. Before she could talk she just screamed all the time. Now they are creeping up on 4 & 5. It’s true that I don’t remember it in detail anymore. And it was hands down the hardest thing I have ever done (and I have lived in a third world country !) and I’m so glade that we are done with that stage and never have to do it again (no more babies for us!). So I feel you-you aren’t alone!!

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Ahna says · 05.01.15

Kate,
You can do this! Hang in there, it does get better. Trust yourself; you know your kids best. Don’t give up on baby carrying, sometimes it just takes a little longer for some little guys to take to it.
Find something everyday to be grateful for… whether it’s that Luke only fussed for 30min instead of an hour, or he slept for a full 45 mins, or that his spitup blends perfectly with your new blouse…something. A grateful heart can help you get through any of life’s strugggles.
You are not alone, even when your computer is off, the house is sleeping and your are gently rocking your baby who finally fell asleep after an hour and a half of rocking. You are deeply loved, and you have been entrusted to care for two beautiful souls to raise, enjoy and love. And you are doing an AMAZING job at it.
When you are having a rough moment, just know somewhere, one of your blog readers is going through the same thing, and in your honesty and candor, have brought her comfort through your writing.

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Carrie Jo says · 05.01.15

Kate, best wishes and good luck! one solution to colic is taking Luke to a pediatric chiropractor. they are very gentle and can help with many issues from ear infections to colic. if you have any questions feel free to e-mail me because i am a pediatric chiropractor!

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Michelle says · 05.01.15

Try GRIPE WATER should be by the pharmacy to in stores not in the baby dept… It is for babes and was a life saver for my granddaughter.They made sure she had before every feeding!!!!! And hang in there because in about two years you will look back and laugh at all this.

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Lissa says · 05.01.15

My first had colic. I’ll never forget the evenings of rapidly rocking and loudly shushing. While I do believe it has something to do with the gut, my son did not have any allergies (so don’t automatically think that has to be it). I haven’t read all of the comments, but the Happiest Baby on the Block and the 5 S’s worked well for us – we actually figured out most of the techniques by the time we read the book at 10 weeks old. So I recommend that book. Also accept help from other experienced colic moms. After surviving that, I’ve always volunteered myself to new mom friends with colicky babies – it takes one to know how to handle another one 😉

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Amanda B says · 05.01.15

You are not alone, hun. My girls are close like your boys, 17 months apart. Emma is about to turn 1, so Samantha is almost 2 1/2. The first five months or so were the hardest when Emma arrived…constant reflux meant no public outtings and extra towels for feedings. Samantha wanted nothing to do with her sister (can’t hardly blame her, she was an erupting volcano) and on top of it, Emma screeched CONSTANTLY. But once Emma turned about 6 months, she was sitting up, had a personality and wasn’t so scary at feeding times. Now as she is crawling and trying to walk, she is a very happy baby, no sign of the misery we had in her early months. You’ll get through it – and yes, you never realize how much extra help is welcomed until you have TWO who want held at the same time! 🙂 Hang in there – it DOES get better!

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Julie says · 05.01.15

Hi Kate! Just wanted to chime in along with these other amazing women! I cannot tell you how amazing it is to have a fellow young mom share some insight to her life! The internet is often so much about comparing ourselves to the unrealistic expectations others set with their dumb white furniture, thigh gaps and vacations to God knows where…I don’t want to read that crap! I want to be inspired and I want camaraderie. I fell in love with your blog so many years ago because you are so down to earth! You have no problem laughing at yourself and like so many of us, you too shop at Target! I follow you because you feel like a friend. No offense, but it’s definitely not because of your Birchbox updates or Pore’s posts 😉 Your blog has evolved along with your life and we all continue to read because so may of us are right along there with you! I too have a 14 month old and am days away from having another one! I am terrified, but oh so excited! I know there are going to be tough days, but I keep telling myself that no matter what we face, my husband and I chose to space our kids close in age for a reason! It may be tough at first but what a gift to our kids to be able to have a live in best friend! My husband and I’s siblings were all so far apart in age that we never really got close until we got older. I wanted my kids to have a different experience. It’s most certainly a sacrifice for all of us including my older daughter, but one that I pray will pay off dividends. When you get stressed just pull out newborn pictures of David and remind yourself how quickly it all goes! Another trick I have learned is to sing Darius Ruckers song “It won’t be like this for long”. It always brings a tear to my little eye and gives me some perspective when I am in desperate need of one! To be a mom is one of the most challenging and rewarding things you will ever do in life! We are superheroes to the tiny humans and until they too one day become a parent they will never understand the sacrifice and joy they bring to our lives. At the end of each day, my husband and I tuck Emily in and high five each other on the way out the door with a quick “We live to fight another day!” lol. Just one day at a time Kate!

Everyone seems to be offering tips and books which I am keeping a mental note of for the weeks to come, but I also wanted to add my own. I swear by Moms on Call. I am not sure if you have heard of it or not, but they are two pediatric nurses who are also moms that wrote books about every single thing you could possibly need to know as a mom from the time the baby is born until they are 5! These books are my bible. They have been dead on with every challenging thing we have faced with Emily and I can’t wait to try it all again with our new little girl. They even have an entire schedule for households with a toddler and a newborn and it seriously takes all the guess work out of everything! I can’t imagine the last year without them. The best part is that they have a Facebook page where you can post quick questions and they will respond with an answer within hours! If you need anything more personalized or if you need help with something specific you can just e-mail them and Laura will reply back again within hours with all the help and support you could ever ask for! It’s like having your own person on call service. I cannot speak highly enough of them! They have helped me with feeding and sleep and illnesses, etc. etc. etc. Amazing! I can’t say it enough! Anyways…just something to consider!

I wish you all the best of luck girlie! Keep your head up! Thanks again for sharing your world with us each day! I know two under two is going to be so so tough, but knowing that there are other moms out there that are in the thick of it or who have lived to tell the tale is just so inspirational! It’s so so appreciated!

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Kathleen says · 05.01.15

Kate,
I love this blog. My husband knows you as “the girl on that beauty blog I follow” because I talk about you that much. I know I am just repeating others but I agree that you should never feel like you need to tread lightly. You are honest and it is so appreciated. Being a mama is HARD and anyone that casts any judgement is crazy! You do a great job at still recognizing how thankful you are for you little loves but that doesn’t mean it’s not difficult! I have 2 kiddos (3 & 13 months) and my second was extremely fussy. I gave up milk and she was a different baby! As others have suggested, it’s worth a shot. I was able to re-introduce it at 6 months and she transitioned fine. Now she is a walking, sleeping through the night, eating cheerios off the floor, babbling, adorable babe! This will all be behind you soon. I feel for you and hope it resolves quickly. Hang in there, you are doing great!

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Kelly says · 05.01.15

Just going to join the many others in saying I love your blog especially the posts about motherhood. I have a 15 month old who was born about a month after David. I literally CANNOT imagine another in the mix. You are amazing.

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Leslie says · 05.01.15

Keep posting about being a mom! Our three kids are now in college and high school. Honestly, I remember thinking after our first child was born, that it felt like a a secret world that nobody talked about! I didn’t have family nearby, nor had met many moms that were staying home(I left my job after our second child was born). It was hard! I had a wonderful daycare mom that was my support system and I often wonder how I would have done it without her. She was honest with me and provided me with suggestions and support! Once I became a stay at home mom, she and I stayed in touch and still do to this day. It honestly does take a village to raise children. You’re so smart in letting your family help you when they are able. Good for you!

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Ruth says · 05.01.15

hang in there lady. It totally sucks right and and we all get it, and many have been there. Get help when you can know that it won’t be like this forever!!! Also, I think my prayer life was strongest when my second, more difficult child was an infant. Sad, but true. Hope you find some tricks, some peace and it passes.

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Aj says · 05.02.15

I know that everyone is different but you probably get all kinds of advice but…I had to reply. I have heard 80% of “colic” is due to the lower esophageal sphincter. This little flap that prevents acid from leaving the stomach and draining back up into the esophagus causing heartburn, is not fully developed until about 1 year old. Which is why “picking the baby up into a vertical position” can relieve some of the discomfort. When they lay down horizontally the flap, which is under developed anyway, lays open allowing stomach acids to drain into the esophagus causing the discomfort. They make infant liquid omeparazole and pantoprazole (like Prevacid or Prilosec) that you can put directly into their formula. Everyone I have heard of with colicky babies this helps. It is worth asking your pediatrician about. Good luck!

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Stephanie says · 05.02.15

Hello Kate,
I myself had an extremely collicky son who is now 6, yes we survived ! 😉 However after 4 months of a nightmare of screams and cries, endless amounts of gripe water/gas drops/herbal teas, absolutely nothing worked, that is for the long term. We finally had our son allergy tested and discovered he was lactose intolerant. I had tried to nurse him, and tried many formulas that always ended in endless crying, lots of gas and vomiting. Once the lactose intolerance diagnosis was made, we switched him to Similac Sensitive for Lactose sensitive infants and what a differance that made ! The first night we gave that to him, he slept 5 straight hours without waking up and crying, I had thought I died and went to heaven with that much straight sleep. I actually woke him up in attempts to be sure he was indeed still breathing 🙂 Anyways, I know you have probably tried many things, but maybe give a formula for lactose sensitive infants a try, it would be worth it. Sadly my son didn’t outgrow his lactose intolerance, however we know what makes him get a tummy ache and what to avoid. Best of luck to you, it’s a season and it to shall pass 🙂 ((hugs))

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ashley davis says · 05.03.15

Kate you are such an inspiration! My husband and I are having a difficult time conceiving, but I dream about the day that I can be a mom and I look to you as a model for motherhood (even in the midst of such a stressful situation you remain poised and beautiful!-also knowing to turn to the Lord for inspiration) Thank you for sharing the difficulties as well as how you cope! I’m sure this is helpful to many, as I know it will be for me. Thanks Kate!

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Judy says · 05.04.15

Kate, you’re in my thoughts. I had two happy easy babies and it was still so tough at times because even happy babies can go through crying spells. I can’t imagine how tough it is on all of you. You are a great mom and family so just cling to that. 🙂

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Laura says · 05.04.15

Hang in there, Momma! I had a 2 year old and a 1 year old when my 3rd baby was born and she was colicky! It is sooooo hard!!! I’m sending you nothing but good vibes and love. It will pass (but boy, is it hard in the meantime!). Oh, I’m sure you’ve tried everything, but gripe water and putting a warm rice pack on her belly seemed to help. xx

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Tina says · 05.04.15

Thanks for sharing so openly! It’s hard to be so vulnerable on your blog, but it is refreshing and wonderful to hear another mom talk about the hard things about being a parent. It isn’t all cute smiles and slobbery baby kisses- it’s tough! You are doing a great job, momma!

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Marielle Tierney says · 05.05.15

Hi there! First of all I love your blog! I don’t post very often but I do enjoy reading what you have to say. I initially found you because of the hair tutorials but I love how you’ve evolved. As a mother of 2 young children, living abroad, and a husband who is traveling 75% of the time I really appreciate your suggestions and opinions. I don’t have time to find and test these products. I’ve already invested in a few things you’ve posted about ranging from jewelry to clothes to makeup.

I think you are very brave to open up your personal life to the blog. I can’t imagine why the comments would get out of control. You seem like such a nice person! Keep up the great work. We are counting on you:)

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Amanda says · 05.05.15

Thanks so much for this post. I started reading your blog a couple of years ago. My baby just turned one and to be honest, I do totally love your beauty posts (especially hair which is why I started following you)… But hearing about your journey through mommyhood is so meaningful and encouraging. This past year has been THE hardest of my life. I’ve never felt so helpless or such lack of control. I love my son with all my heart… But what I really felt when he was born was that no one was talking about how hard motherhood can be. It seemed everything came so easily to my friends. Their babies slept through the night early on or nursed like a dream. That wasn’t the case for me! Breastfeedingwas hard and I felt like a failure when we stopped at 5 months. (Although now I know I wasn’t and it was absolutely the right decision.) all this to say… Your authenticity is NEEDED. I can tell from all of the other comments. Us women and mamas are looking for someone else to simply say ‘ugh.. Me too!’… Or ‘yes I’m so freakin tired’… We just need to know were not alone don’t we? God is good and he’s using you and this blog to encourage other weary hearts. May you be encouraged knowing this and continue to be the amazing mama that you are. 🙂

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Stefanie says · 05.05.15

I LOVE all the comments telling you you are doing a great job!!! I believe that is the single best thing you can say to a mother of a newborn, no matter how many kids she has. Keep it up commenters!! My baby is now 3 and a half and was colicky from 3 to 8 weeks. I remember when my doctor told me I was doing a great job and I started crying because it was exactly what I needed to hear at the time. There is nothing like a constantly screaming baby to make us feel like we are totally failing at life. The doctor also told me the crying should peak at 8 weeks and be gone by 12 weeks, and she was right! Our baby is such a delight now.
Also, glad to hear this can happen with a second baby… people kept telling me that it was just in my head, or that it was just because I was a first-time mom and it made me want to punch them in the face 😉
Keep up the good work mama!

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Ashley says · 05.06.15

Kate, have you tried the Happi Tummi wrap that can be found on Amazon? I bought it when my now 6mon old daughter was very cranky due to gas and an upset stomach. It worked great for her. The package also says that it works for colicky babies, and it may be worth the $20. Best of luck to you – hang in there.

Ashley

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Alexandria says · 05.07.15

Kate,
I think you are such an amazing mother! Good for you for keeping it real for all of us out there. 🙂

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Felicity Evans says · 05.09.15

Prayers for you from Australia!
My favourite phrase for moments like these is “this too shall pass”. I have a 14 year old and an 11 year old and I VIVIDLY remember those days where you just can’t see how you’ll get through. You will. And you will wonder where the days went. Every best wish.

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Beka Conner says · 05.10.15

Hi Kate! I know this is a tough and trying season you are in and please know that you are not alone! Having a colicky baby is hard!! Brutal might be a better word for it! Our oldest son spent the first 4 weeks of his life crying/screaming more than he didn’t. Nothing I did comforted him. Some days, if he wasn’t nursing, he was crying! And, I was crazy…for example, I almost drove onto an off-ramp! I couldn’t imagine how people ever had more children if this was “normal.” (I know that sounds terrible…trying to be honest and transparent.) When our son was about 1 month old my husband picked up a baby book to flip through it before bed. The first thing he read was that some babies are sensitive to dairy in their diet, and I am a dairy lover! So, I cut dairy out the next day and within a few days he was a different baby…it was night and day compared to his first 4 weeks! To this day neither one of us knows how that baby book ended up on my husband’s nightstand other than it was the kind providence of the Lord. I have no idea if this will help you or not but I wanted to share…i don’t even know you, but I am lifting you up in prayer! “He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.” Isaiah 40:11

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Michelle says · 05.10.15

You’re doing a great job! My first was supposedly colicky …. that’s what all the doctors told me this crazy mom who called the doctor on call just about every night. Finally, at 8 weeks, I took him in & demanded a different answer. After taking him to the hospital for tests, it was determined he did not have colic, but reflux. He started taking aby Zantac …. changed his formula … & voila … happy baby! I waited to have my second until the first was almost 4 … which had its pros & cons. Don’t ever feel badly about venting here, it’s your blog & if someone doesn’t like it they don’t have to read it!

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Jade says · 05.12.15

Sorry to hear Luke is fussy. My daughter was very colicky as well. She was born a week after David and I remember reading some of your post last year about going back to the gym post baby and even when you announced you were pregnant with Luke and thinking how is this possible? I felt like I was drowning amongst a screaming infant and barely surviving while another mother with the same age of baby was going to the gym?! Hang in there and most importantly remember you are not doing anything wrong. I tried so many different things with my daughter (chiro, eliminating dairy, formula, probiotics, reflux meds etc) and nothing worked. Over time I learnt a bit of her fussiness was due to a dairy allergy but a lot of her fussiness was due to her personality type. She fits the description of a spirited baby perfectly. Now at 16 months her spunky personality is challenging but also rewarding and so very entertaining. The best sanity saver for me was downloading “the wonder weeks” app. It was very accurate for my daughter and her peak fussy times/sleeplessness followed the calendar to the exact date. Although the app didn’t stop her from screaming it did save my sanity and help me understand that I wasn’t anything I had done or not done that had led to the increase in recent crying. Hang in there you are doing great!!!

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Christy says · 05.12.15

Kate! I knew I was missing your blog. As a new mommy to a 13 day old little boy I am having some ups and downs too. I had to be off work the last 10 weeks due to a host of health problems but while I still worked I read your blog daily. Today as I was pumping I thought of you and came over to see what you’ve been up to. Yes, now I remember you’ve been raising two boys!! This post and your reader’s comments have helped me tremendously today. At 37, I don’t have the energy I did at 27 and can feel the sleep deprivation taking a toll. While my son isn’t showing signs of true colic, he’s a force of nature, as are most newborns, right?!?! Thank you for showing us the true feelings and challenges along with the pure joy of those sacred moments we share as mothers. Hang in there and know there is a huge sisterhood up at night and during the day, trying hard to be the best providers we can be for our sweet kiddos. I’m here with you!

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Heather says · 05.13.15

First, I wanted to say I love your blog! It inspires me to actually put makeup on and put my contacts in daily for my sanity and for my hubs as a newer mom to a 7 month old! So, I’m sure my hubs and the world thanks you (especially at the beginning when trying to get the hang of it!) second. I don’t know if anyone has suggested, but have you looked into having Luke adjusted by a chiropractor? The birth experience is quite traumatic for a baby after being in the womb in tight quarters and I have a couple friends that have had awesome results (me included!) with getting their baby adjusted! My babe was adjusted within 24 hours of birth and we have been proa give with having her adjusted at least once a month. My cousins first daughter was a screaming colicky mess for 2 weeks straight when someone suggested getting her adjusted. Turned out, she was out of alignment after birth and was uncomfortable! Just thought I would throw that out there as I sit here pumping while babe sleeps! They had a completely different child after that first adjustment and is a big reason why they have had all three girls adjusted regularly! Chiropractic adjustments can even help with ear infections! Good luck, and congrats on two beautiful boys! I’ve been reading your blog for years!!!

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Erin says · 05.15.15

Hang in there…the first year of two kids, especially that close together is TOUGH!!!! But it gets so much better…my kids are 23 months apart and although the second one wasn’t colicky…it is such an adjustment with two people needing you at the same time, one nursing, the other potty training, one needing a changed diaper, the other wanting to play. My kids are now 7 and 9 and I can’t even tell you how great it is…and has been for a couple of years now. They get up on Saturday morning and play with each other while I sleep in. The older one helps the younger one with homework and reading, they are truly best friends and looking back on the craziness of the first year…it was TOTALLY worth it!

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