Big Brother
Warm Winter Glow
I can’t believe I’m almost 1 month out from having another baby, and my first baby will be a big brother!
I found out I was expecting again right around the time David was 6 months old, and I remember looking at him differently since I knew our time just the two of us was coming to a close.
Don’t hear me wrong on that, I’m thrilled to be having another baby, but David was still so little and new, I found myself wanting to savor him more in anticipation of the blur that may/will be 2015.
I was talking with my friends last night about my feelings going into having this baby. The newborn stage with David was tough for me, and I hope I have an easier time this go around. It will, without a doubt, be better to know a little bit of what I’m getting into, but each baby is different so I’m sure there will still be a lot of newness and learning to go along with this next baby.
Overall, I can genuinely tell you that I’m excited. I cannot wait to find out if it’s a boy or a girl, and I cannot wait to see how tiny he/she will be next to David.
On days when I’m weary, I find myself spiraling rather steadily down the “how am I going to manage 2Β babies” (even though I think David is technically a toddler now that he’s walking). And I have to choose to snap out of that, deal with what’s happening at that very moment, and cross that bridge when I get there.
Anyway, if you thought I was a bit of a rambler before, my rambling gets seriously extensive near the end of a pregnancy.
David has been an absolute joy, as usual. He’s a happy, compliant, and easy-going — when he’s rested. I tried cutting out the morning nap (it turned into quite the question mark and I was fairly certain he was ready to drop it very soon) to see what that would do to the afternoon nap, and that was a tiny nightmare. Less sleep led to less sleep. And suddenly I had a clingy, emotional kid on my hands that was very, very obviously over tired!
Thus, the morning nap has been reinstated and all is right in the world.
He’s pretty much walking around everywhere. He’s getting better at eating a variety of foods, and that makes me happy! In fact, he inhaled a spinach, mushroom, and swiss quiche for breakfast and I sat there in awe. I wouldn’t touch that quiche with a 10 foot pole.
He loves to pick out books (flip books are the favorites), pull clothes out of the dryer, and loves when Justin comes home from work. He babbles all day, usually a mixture of “ducka ducka” and “daddaaadadaa” and then as soon as Justin comes home he turns into a 12 year old and just says, “DAD” really loud and in a staccato manner.
David basically hasn’t closed his mouth since birth, as evidenced by the constant presence of bibs due to exceptional drool, so he’s not even close to saying “mama” or “MOM”. But I can’t wait to hear that for the first time!
In non-sappy mom news, David bit me hard enough to give me a blood blister a few weeks ago. It hurt like nothing else. It was right up by my clavicle bone, right at the tender, thin-skinned area of my neck. Justin and I were sitting across from each other and encouraging David to walk back and forth to each of us. Justin would throw him in the air when he would reach his side, and I would give him a big bear hug and tickle him a little bit. Well, he was pretty excited and got a little overzealous and bit my neck as I was hugging him. Obviously, he doesn’t realize that it hurt me, but I was like “MY KID BIT ME.”
It was a strange combination of feeling offended along with literally almost crying from the pain (don’t judge unless you’ve been bitten with the jaws of what felt like an anaconda on the most tender part of your neck!) and then being embarrassed that I was about to cry because of all of this.
Not my favorite motherhood moment, but a good story nonetheless.
So here’s to about 36 more days of just David and I, and heck–I’ll even take another neck biting episode because it was really fun to watch my sonΒ walk back and forth between Justin and I. It was one of those seemingly boring, ordinary nights that I’ll remember for a long time. . . . because I have a scar.
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Saying a prayer for those first couple of months – for joy, excitement, rest for all 4, and contentment π
Aw, that biting story makes me laugh. My daughter headbutted me really hard on accident when she was about 2 and I’m 90% sure I DID cry.
I have to say, I can’t wait to see what you’re having! I feel like no one waits for it to be a surprise anymore.
My son will be 6 months next week and I can’t imagine being pregnant again! But I am so happy for you! I can definitely sympathize with you on wondering how you will handle 2 babies, I don’t think I could at the moment. I can’t wait to read about how you handle the challenges and pray that you will have an easy delivery and the baby is healthy and easy! π
My sweet biggest babes are 20 months apart- we held on to the morning nap forever! π as in… Past age 2! And they still both slept 3 hour afternoon naps and 12+ at night, we are just a sleepy crew and it made for super joyous littles and rare tantrums. And I actually felt rested since I was able to get my oldest down twice a day while healing from my c and figuring out my little man- just tricky to lift into a crib while healing…. You are going to do great, look back and feel so proud of your family! I kept a journal by my bed and wrote any little thing down so it feels a little less foggy in memories. I am genuinely praying for this transition in your life!
My boys are 2 years apart and I remember feeling nervous about how I was going to handle having two. All I can say is that the second one is DEFINITELY easier (you don’t tend to freak out about every cry and whimper as much!), and the second one is easily occupied with watching the older one walk around and stuff. So I think you will be surprised at how it goes!
So excited for you, Kate. We waited to find out the gender of our last little one (baby #5) and it made the day of her birth so special. Cannot wait to hear what you have and I will certainly keep you in my prayers as you complete this last month of your pregnancy, deliver your sweet babe and heal from the c-section.
Blessings.
(David will be an awesome big brother.)
My first 2 are 12 1/2 months apart & I, too, felt all those same feelings you have! Then, 21 months after 2nd, I had my third…3 under 3! You just go right into a survival type mode and you do it! Not sure, looking back, how I did, but all was good! And, you will soon get the hang of syncing their naps together, which was wonderful! You will do great…so many have walked this road before and have lots of stories! Enjoy every moment because they grow up too fast!!
Good luck! I love reading about David and can’t wait to read about your new baby! I’m expecting my first baby in June and my husband and I are thrilled. We’ll be having a little boy so I’m going to be going back through your baby posts to see what you recommended. π
I know you are going to be a great mommy-of-2! You have great instincts and I am sure you will figure things out quickly. My second is 7 mo old, and I find myself able to enjoy things a little more this time around because I *kinda* know what to expect. And there is little more precious than seeing both babies playing together. The little one LOVES her big brother so much she can hardly stand it.
Glad you worked out the nap thing too. I’m sure two naps will come in handy after baby comes and you will appreciate that extra quiet time in the morning. Praying for you in this next month or so!
my two daughters are 21 months apart. The best advice I got after my second was born was when people come over to visit the baby is when they would first walk in to not act like they were there to see the baby. They would make a big deal over my older daughter, talking or reading or chasing her around the house. Then after a while then they would come and take a look at the baby. It helped so there wasn’t a lot of jealousy issues. I also made a habit during the day when my second was sleeping to pay a lot of attention to my older daughter. I do remember the first time I breast-fed my second daughter and my older daughter was so upset she was running into the wall screaming and crying!!! Now they are 14 and 12 1/2 and that time seems so long ago. Enjoy your last month or so with David. I remember sometimes feeling like the baby was gonna ruin our little threesome, and then she came it was like she was meant to be there with our family all along. β€οΈ
Oh the biting. Don’t feel bad about your spontaneous response to being bit. My daughter bit me on the inner thigh and I instinctively whacked her on the back. I felt super guilty and know she didn’t mean it, so I had to then convince myself that I didn’t mean to respond the way I did. I must’ve apologized 20 times. Best wishes as you venture toward your due date!
My daughters are one year and eight days apart. My advice so you don’t feel like you miss anything is to make a conscious effort to enjoy the moment. I don’t feel I’ve missed anything, despite sharing your fear of it all just being a blur! Build up a support network and take the time to take care of yourself! It’s incredibly fun to watch babies so close in age grow and play together! Mine started playing and clearly enjoying each other’s company when the little one was just weeks old! Now, at 6 and 18 months, they’re inseparable friends! It’s a fantastically fun experience and I wish you the best!
The injuries will not stop- my daughter is 2 1/2 and still will bite when she gets excited (though not nearly as hard anymore), she’s also given me a black eye from head butting me and about a month ago when I was leaning over to zip her sweatshirt, she jumped and slammed her head into my mouth, I ended up with a bloody lip that was noticeably swollen for about 3 days. The best part is that after those types of injuries you have to just ignore it for the first few mins to comfort the child who is has had a meltdown because you dared to slam your face into their head.
My oldest was three when I had my second, and I still felt “guilty” about having another child and worried how it would affect her. I think it’s totally normal and doesn’t mean you aren’t excited about your new little one. I’m also excited to find out what you’re having – and the new name of course! I think David will be a sweet big brother and you’ll love him and see him in a new way, just like with Justin when you saw him as a father. Congratulations Kate! (And if you do feel down or overwhelmed after the birth, don’t be ashamed to ask for help.)
God is equipping you and will walk with you through every step!
I just learned about your blog a few weeks ago, so I have been binge reading and watching
your tutorials!! Love it all!! I’ll keep you in my prayers!
My oldest son was 3 days shy of 11 months when I had my second son. The first couple of weeks are exciting and tough (a good tough though!) — you do have to come up with ways on how to handle a toddler and a baby at the same time, but believe me the time goes fast and you do figure it out π The biggest obstacle for me was figuring out how I could take both of them into the doctor. With one [barely] walking and the other one needing me I felt a little in over my head but it gets easier! You will absolutely love it! We look at our boys every day just taking in how wonderful being a parent to these two boys is the best thing we have ever done! Good luck — your going to do great!!
Don’t be too offended by the bite! My nephew recently bit me. He’s about to be two years old. We were rolling around on the floor playing with his cars. He came super close to take a picture and then BAM! Bit the bridge of my nose. He laughed a little and then went to grab his blanket for a nap. I’ve decided his bite was the equivelant of a love nip from a cat!
WOW, your pregnancy went fast for ME. I feel like we were all just reading your pregnancy announcement. Those two babies are so lucky to have you, and I cant wait to see if you are having a boy or girl. I think girl! (At least I hope so!)
On a tiny side note..Thank you for mentioning that you struggled a bit with the newborn stage. I have a 10 week old baby and even though I love him with every inch of myself, those first 4ish weeks were some of the hardest, scariest, most challenging weeks of my life. Its good to know I wasn’t alone in the struggle :)!
Sending lots of love and well wishes from Colorado.
Hey Kate! I was/am a huge drooler and my dentist told me that because of all the saliva I have in my mouth it has helped prevent cavities! So there’s good to all that drool!
Also, in very unrelated news…I am getting married in February, so it has been an absolute joy following you and counting down with you! haha (that’s kind of weird).
My little guy is just a couple weeks older than David, and I also tried dropping his morning nap last week. It did not go well at.all. Even though it sometimes takes him an hour to fall asleep in the morning, he apparently still needs it. The sad part is, he still doesn’t sleep through the night and I was hoping that dropping a nap would do the trick. Ugh….
Like others have said, I couldn’t imagine being pregnant again when my son was 6 months old. Wow. I am just now getting to the point where I think I could be ready to try for #2.
Best wishes in your last few weeks with just David!
I love this! We have #2 on the way, although not quite as close together. (2 years apart). But I am definitely sharing some of your thoughts and concerns. As far as naps – my “baby” is 19 months now, and still taking 2 naps/day. Also, she said “bonjour” (and about 20 other words) before she would finally say “mama.” I think she did it on purpose to drive me nuts π
Oh the scars I have from my son’s jaws. At the time, I always wonder if I’ll live to tell about it. Turns out I always do.
http://www.kristajacobs.blogspot.com
Our little guy (18 months, but he’s done this for a few months now) has bitten me in that EXACT same place…and it’s only when he’s 1. super excited or 2. super tired. I feel like it’s his way of showing emotion? He doesn’t do it to anyone else but me (lucky, Mama!). Anyway, I feel like I could cry when he does it too — it hurts! Best of luck with this last month as you prepare for #2! I’m following your blog extra close as we have #2 on the way, too (they’ll be 22 months a part).
You’re going to do great Kate! My boys are 21 months apart, and some of my favorite memories are of carrying those two around, one on each hip <3 You know what's also cool? Two babies in diapers..and I say that because the minute you realize the first one is actually, truly potty trained, it is a victory like no other π I understand your fears, just be kind to yourself and know that you CAN do it, you have lots of cheerleaders.
A few words from a mother of four.
First, it only gets easier. The first one is the hardest because there’s the massive transition from being able to only think about ourselves, to having to think about someone else 24 hours a day. AND we tend to be overly worried about them. Once you realize they’re going to be okay, you’ll relax more. In fact, studies show that mothers get more sleep with their second child because they’re more likely to sleep when the baby sleeps.
Second, you haven’t mentioned it, but if you are worried you won’t love this baby as much as your first (a very common fear), don’t worry. As soon as that baby is born, you’re attachment hormone kicks in and you will be full of baby lust.
Third, when you have two so close to each other, they will be great friends. I think one child is much harder than two. Because when they’re 5 years old and want mommy to play with them all the time, it’s exhausting. When they have each other to play with, you’ll get more alone time.
Hope this offers a little encouragement.
http://absolutelytara.com
Kate,
My daughters are 11 months apart, and the BIGGEST saving grace for all of this, a baby wrap/carrier. I purchased a fabric one so it wasn’t bulky, and my youngest loved it. It allowed me to spend time with both, and be hands on literally with both. I could sit and play with my oldest with feeling like i was leaving my youngest to the side. Also, to make sure i felt like i was getting enough one on one time, I always made sure i spent 15 mins a day alone with each. I would keep my youngest one up 15 mins later for the afternoon nap, and let my oldest get up 15 minutes earlier. I loved every minute of my two girls, and while it was tricky at some points, they are best friends now, and hopefully will continue to be since I’m pregnant with our 3rd! My girls are now 3 & 4, and I’m due in August (so they will both be in school for the majority of my maternity leave), which goes back to giving me some one on one time with the baby, and now homework/reading time with each of the girls at night. Enjoy, good luck, and god bless!
So excited for you as you add another sweet bundle of joy to your family! Baby teeth are no joke! My son is 4 days younger then David and he is still nursing in the morning and at night and he bit me with his 6 teeth the other day and I thought I was going to die from the pain of it! I was so floored that he bit me because he had never done it before!
Sorry, but I literally laughed out loud about David biting you! My son head butted me in the lip SO hard and then simply laughed when I wanted to cry. It gave me one of those canker sores (inside your mouth) and it hurt for what felt like forever. When it was almost healed, he decided to lift his leg when I was changing his diaper and he kicked me right in the mouth. THAT JUST HAPPENED! Hahaha. Boys!
Good luck with your labor and delivery this time around! Can’t wait to find out if you’re having a boy or a girl! :]
I hear you on the biting thing. My little girl who is just a few weeks older than David would do that often but not on purpose. I probably did cry. Don’t feel bad about your response. I’m pretty sure it’s what anyone would have done.
I’m so excited for you Kate and love your stories about David! Your cup runneth over!
On a side note, I’d love to send you a few essential oils that can help with the scar on your neck if you’re interested! Just email me.
Congratulations. I can’t wait to hear whether it’s a boy or girl – I’m torn, but I think I’ll vote girl π
I had moments where I felt so overwhelmed after having my second baby. Then I realized, I don’t have to do this alone…I can ask for help. It changed my life! Even hiring a sitter for a few hours once a week did so much for my sanity. And I learned to let friends and family help me out more. I also got to see God work in amazing ways in my weakness. When you have those “How am I going to do this?” moments, it’s ok to reach out for help. You’re going to do great!
Such a sweet post! Can’t wait to see what a sweet bib brother David is!
-Meg
http://www.smalltownsisters.blogspot.com
I know I shouldn’t laugh, but the way you worded the biting incident has me chuckling! Having two babies must seem a tad bit scary, but I know you can do it, and do it well! We often don’t know what we’re capable of until we’re thrown into the middle of it!
xx
Jenny // Mish Mosh Makeup
Hi Kate! My daughters are 14 months apart. People thought I was crazy…but God had/has a plan for our family.
My prayer for my girls, ages 7 and 8, is that they will be best friends! They are so close and I pray it continues through middle school and high school….those tough years!
So as your 36 days come to a close and you find yourself at home with an infant and toddler, know that God has a plan for your children! It will be difficult in that first year, but know that it does get better! Your children will play and laugh together and bring so much joy in their closeness!!
Love your blog!!! I’ve been reading for about 4 years now!!
Awwww! Bless your heart! I can completely relate! When my son was 3 years old, he ran to give me a giant hug and he accidentally poked me in the eye! His fingernail cut my cornea and I sported an awesome eye patch for a few days. The cut never did heal properly and I ended up having to have eye surgery!!!! You and I both got very memorable hugs. My son is now 14 years old and both of my eyes are still intact! Being mom is the best but it sure can hurt sometimes too!
You’ll do great . . . It’s a delicate balance having them close. Keep the naps!!
Good luck! I love reading about David and canβt wait to read about your new baby!
Such a cool post! Love this post!
Love from http://www.trangscorner.com – a lifestyle, cooking, fashion blog
As a grandmother of two twins boys age five now, the advise I always give to my daughter when she anticipated situations in the worst way was “this too shall pass” and “this is shorted lived”. And with that, that is how she got through her days and still getting through her days with two very active typical boys. For the most part…it is a mind set.
When my baby had just turned a year old I found out I was pregnant and I burst into terrified tears and said “but I already HAVE a baby!!” Everyone told me, yes, there will be some challenging moments in that first year but after that you will nothing but grateful that they are so close in age….which has proven to be very true, 10 years later.
My first son was also a “sensitive sleeper”- had to have his sleep routine the same every day and night, had to sleep in his own bed, no skipping naps or sleeping on the go, or the wheels came off! (Still kind of is as a 10 year old….) But my second son is just like my husband. There is no such thing as “overtired” because if he was tired, he fell asleep, wherever we where! We have pictures of him asleep on my husband’s lap during the muster drill on a cruise ship with the fog horn going off! That made schlepping a toddler and infant around 10 times easier, #2 was the just the complete definition of laid back. I wish the same for you! Good luck!
Every time I read your parenting posts, I end up reading and nodding in agreement. I have a 16 month old and number 2 will be born in June. When I found out number 2 was coming (a bit sooner than we had originally planned), number 1 was just turning a year. It made me a little sad that he wasn’t going to be my baby anymore. And the thought of managing two can be overwhelming at times.
And yes – when number 1 bit me – it was in the same place and it HURT! I can sympathize.
My daughter gave me a black eye by excitedly running to me with board puzzle. She was 2, it was Christmas day, and it was *gulp* 19 years ago:)
I’m in the same boat as you although my little boy is 15 months and will be 16 months when his little brother (we just HAD to find out) will arrive.
I just transitioned to being a stay at home mom and was wondering if you had any tips for keeping your little boy entertained during the day?
Also, I took the jump and chopped my hair off in possible anticipation of losing my hair. I lost it with my first son but am hoping that I won’t this time. I have the craziest hair regrowth going on right now.
I swear when I was losing my hair chewbacca was in my shower each time I got out! I have enjoyed the change in length of hair but I am like you, I like to throw my hair up alot and it is still at a length where I can put it up but am limited in what I can do.
I do have a question. Is texture spray really worth buying????
Thanks!
Constance
That reminds me of the time I was on my hands and knees picking up duplo Legos in my sons room. I put my knee down hard onto the sharp corner of one (right in the soft spot next to your knee cap). It hurt so bad I was rolling on the floor practically howling. My boyfriend had to come check on me. It was horrible.
Regarding the “how will I do this?” thoughts: It won’t be easy, it may not always be pretty, but you will do it! I am a mom of triplets and had many freak-outs about how I was going to take care of 3 babies. My favorite words of encouragement from that time are: “You don’t know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” You are stronger than you think! It will be hard and wonderful and messy and rewarding all at once. π
Hope everything went well for you having your new baby. π Good luck on the New Year with the changes that are happening in your life. Keep up the great work on this blog, too. Look forward to future posts.
We are struggling through the big “drop the morning nap” question mark. Like you, I thought we were ready, and then I couldn’t figure out why my sweet girl was always a puddle of tears! (leaving her momma in a puddle of tears) Oh well, learn as we go, right??
Praying for you as you enter these last few weeks. Praying for relaxation, for being in the moment, and loving every last moment as a family of three!
Katie @ Cup of Tea
helpfull article
Just wanted to say that I felt apprehensive before my second child was born, almost guilty that I’d be splitting my time and love between the two. What I didn’t understand at the time was that the new baby was a gift to our first…another whole person to love her and vice versa.
Best of luck and congratulations in advance,
Emily, mom of 4
You’re going to do great with two, just as you have done with just David. You are a great mother. I know its hard to hear people say just try and relax when you are in the moment. It’s not always easy, but you will get through it, promise. It will go by so fast. My daughter is now 24 (she loves your blog too by the way!) and my son 22. They have always been so close and now as adult are not only brother and sister, but great friends. Hang in there, you’re doing great keep it up!
While I’m 25 and do not have any children, I can say that my brother and I are super close in age too. While growing up we from time to time had the normal sibling arguments we are now super close friends. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m sure when we were little we were a handful for our mother (who was self employed and worked from home too), but now she says that she’s so happy that we are best of friends. Again, I don’t have any kids, but from what I can tell you are doing great! Good luck with number two!
I thought all the same things when pregnant with my second! Half way through I had a meltdown thinking there was no way that I would be able to handle it! Let me tell you, the first few months were difficult while getting used to the new routines and such, but my son was the biggest helper (he was 2). I saw a completely different side of him once his sister was born! It was really sweet! Good luck π
http://www.theneuroticmom.net