Growth and Gratitude

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Battle of the Balms

David is nearly 11 months old meaning his 1st birthday is just around the corner.

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “the days are long but the years are short”, right? I’ve found that to be completely true.

While I cannot believe he’s about to be one year old, it seems like an eternity ago that I was covering my shoulder in a burp cloth every time I held him because he was quite the spewer.

It’s like that was an entirely different baby.

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I thought I was really going to enjoy the tiny newborn stage. The times I volunteered in the nursery at church, I always tried to grab the tiniest babies from the mothers dropping them off because I loved holding them.

As it turns out, serving for 1 hour is different than day to day life with a newborn.

As David gets older, and starts to develop new skills, I’m enjoying him more and more. Everyone told Justin and I, “it get’s better. . . just wait until you start to see some of their personality show through. . .”. And while we pushed through the challenging months of a newborn PLUS adjusting to parenthood, I held onto that statement tightly!

And I’m here to tell you, new mom, it does. And allow me to expound on that a little bit.

When they start to laugh, it will make you smile so big and feel joy that you’ve never felt before.

When you watch them start to feed themselves, meticulously picking up even the tiniest crumb, you will feel immensely proud.

When they begin to explore toys, in ways other than chewing on them, your mind will start racing with all the games you can play with them.

When they begin to babble and respond to your facial expressions or certain phrases, you’ll be so encouraged by the fact that you can actually communicate with them.

 

Each stage, as far as I’ve experienced in the past 11 months, brings different challenges while also bringing new rewards. David just started to pull up last week, and he’s already getting incredibly brave and lifting his hands off the furniture to stand. He never “hands and knees” crawled, so it’s funny to see him get so into standing and trying to walk. I’m actually pretty confident that he’ll skip crawling altogether!

I cannot believe my time with just David is already going to be “over” in a few months. I don’t mean that to sound negative, as I am not sad that I’m expecting another baby! I’m just trying to soak up my time with him, write down milestones in the baby book, and enjoy my first shy and drool-y little baby.

I look so, so forward to the two of my kids playing together one day. I’m curious about their personality differences, and even whether or not this next one is a boy or a girl! I feel a gratitude too deep to explain for this second pregnancy, and how easy it came to Justin and I. It took 14 months to get pregnant with David, and now he and this new baby will be about 14 months apart.

Last month was the 1 year anniversary of closing up my studio in order to stay home with David. From time to time, I’ll miss doing hair and seeing my clients on a regular basis. That was such a fulfilling career for me, and I’m thankful to have had the opportunity to create a “dream” job for myself for so many years.

But, staying home with David has been an absolute gift, and been even more rewarding than I imagined.

Feeling especially grateful today, perhaps it’s the time of year with thanksgiving coming up and all, but I just wanted to share that today.

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Melissa G says · 11.12.14

I had 4 kids within 27 months. Jake, then 14 1/2 months later Ellie, then 12 months later Max and Maddie. It is so neat to see the differences in them…personality and traits. My 2 daughters are total night and day. The other nice thing is that not matter where you are, they always have a friend 🙂 We are relocating from WI to TN in 5 weeks. I think because they have each other, it’ll be much easier. They are 12,11,10,10 now and yes, fight like cats and dogs. But they sure do love each other 🙂

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Melissa G says · 11.12.14

BTW…LOVE LOVE LOVE your posts. I look forward to them each day. I write things down that I want to future purchase. Did you at one point say you had a lipstick/gloss that you have several of and keep everywhere? It seems to have “black” in the title?

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Angela R says · 11.12.14

Ah so true! Just wait till you see your kids playing together. It is truly the best thing ever! My husband and I love to just sit back and watch them interact with each other.

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Lillian says · 11.12.14

Hello Kate, I have left numerous questions, I have never received an answer. Do you receive all the questions in comments? Please respond if possible. Thank you.

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Kate says · 11.12.14

Hi Lillian, depending on my day I’m not always able to get through the comments of my blog post. A more direct option would be to email me! Thanks!!

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Lillian says · 11.14.14

Hi Kate, I also emailed you numerous questions. Maybe you never received them. Please let me know. I will try to email them again to you. Thanks for the response.

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det-res says · 11.12.14

I wasn’t ready to get pregnant when I was devouring all your posts on your pregnancy and after the arrival of David. Your honesty was very disarming and I was very grateful to have someone to read that I could fully relate to. When I got pregnant I would often dig deep into the archives of your blog because there was always some post I wanted to re-read.

Unfortunately I lost my 5 month unborn child last week. I continue to grapple with my loss, but your blog always cheers me up. Always reminds me that there is hope around the corner. Always reminds me that we have small mercies we need to be thankful for.

Continuing with the theme of thankfulness, I want to thank you for bringing peace to me and for sharing your story. I wish you the very best with the second pregnancy.

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Michelle says · 11.12.14

I’ve never experienced that first hand and have no idea what you are going through so I won’t even pretend to know what you need. Just k now I am so, so sorry.

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det-res says · 11.12.14

Thank you. That means a lot. It is very heart breaking. 5 months is a long time to get to know someone.

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Kate says · 11.12.14

I’m so sorry to hear that

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det-res says · 11.12.14

Thank you. My best wishes to you again. I have gained a lot of positive perspective from you blog. For that I cannot thank you enough.

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Megan says · 11.12.14

Oh how my heart hurts for you!! My sister in law just miscarried over the weekend so that pain is fresh in our family. I feel certain I lost one myself but it was before I had even been able to take a test to be sure I was pregnant, and that is so much different then KNOWING you carry a child and spending five months planning life with them. I cannot imagine the sorrow. Praying for you this night! <3

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det-res says · 11.17.14

Thank you Megan. You are so right about the loss of a family. While I have always enjoyed the love of my family, our loss has brought all of us even closer For that I am grateful. My prayers and thoughts for your family and sister-in-law.

Also a huge thanks to Kate. Your readers have been so kind to me. I didn’t mean to take up space here. I just wanted to let you know how I felt.

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Krista says · 11.12.14

This couldn’t be more true. I found the newborn stage to be so challenging and as my son grew, the fog seemed to lift and suddenly this one year old was sitting in front of me with such a personality. Looking back, I miss it but it gets so much more rewarding the older he gets. Mamahood is the best.

http://www.kristajacobs.blogspot.com

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julie says · 11.12.14

You will love having them close together! (Ok, well not ALL the time, but as they get older you will appreciate it more & more.) Our daughters are only a year apart, and although this was not planned, we think it’s the best thing we ever did 🙂 Neither one of them remembers a time without the other one, so there isn’t a lot of sibling rivalry. Plus, they play really well together! (Trust me, this is a great thing when they are up early in the morning and can keep each other quietly occupied for a half an hour in their room.)

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Jessica says · 11.12.14

I was nodding my head and smiling with almost EVERY sentence of this post! We just celebrated my son’s first birthday a couple weeks ago and I have seen the biggest change in his personality! He is our miracle baby, as we struggled with fertility issues for 4 years.
I am in awe of him as I know you are of David and will be with baby #2!
Thanks for sharing..I love the Wednesday Posts!

BTW….my little one is just about ready for a haircut….ever thing about a post on how to do a “trim” at home?????
Thanks!

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kara says · 11.12.14

I always enjoy reading your posts! I have two boys (ages 6 and 7 now) that were born 11 months apart. It has been awesome watching them grow and learn. They are best buds for sure! We also added a baby girl (named Kate!) to our family 16 months ago.

The thing that struck me about this post was when you mentioned David not hand/knee crawling or possibly skipping crawling altogether. (Both my boys did this too.) PLEASE know that I am not trying to pry or cause worry….just trying to help. I took my daughter to a “new age/holistic” doctor (that i love) when she was around 9 months and she wanted to watch her crawl. When I asked why, she mentioned that hand/knee crawling was a very important part of their brain development. It has to do with their left/right hemispheres and crossing the brain midline. (Her explanation was way more technical.) Anyway, there is a simple exercise you can do to help. Lie him on his back and touch his right elbow to left knee and vise versa on the other side just a few times, once or twice a day. I’m sure you can read more about it online. Feel free to contact me if you’d like.

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Kat says · 11.12.14

Second this! Crawling is very important for proper brain development!

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Kate says · 11.12.14

Thank you for your comment! I have already discussed this with his pediatrician as I remember hearing that crawling is important!

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Emma says · 11.12.14

Developmental psychologist here: 30% of babies never crawl! It’s totally normal and will not negatively affect their development! I know you know to always listen to your pediatrician, but just wanted to chime in since there seem to be a lot of worried parents.

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Kate says · 11.12.14

Appreciate that! I think people are just trying to help and kindly offer advice! 🙂

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Emma says · 11.12.14

Definitely! I was hoping my comment might be comforting to any and all worried parents! I think your blog is so wonderful and people can relate to you so easily, you bring out the advice-giver in us all 🙂

sara W says · 11.12.14

There’s nothing you can do about it if he skips crawling. People can be so silly! He’s an interactive, smiley, well-attached baby. You’re doing a great job!

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Melissa says · 11.12.14

YES! You want him to crawl. From a developmental perspective this is essential in even some of his basic future development and mastery of tasks as he matures.

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meredith says · 11.12.14

Please. My son did the army crawl, and never a “normal” crawl. He is right on track, years later, and ahead of most children.
Give me a break. What do you want her to do? Prop him up and force him?

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Carolyn says · 11.12.14

I feel like I could have written nearly every word of this myself. My son is 17 months and like you said, every day is something new. Yesterday he sat himself on the couch and started “reading” a Christmas book to his stuffed Santa. Seriously?? I wanted to melt. Lately I have had a serious case of baby fever.. but then I get scared! Can I handle two, can our marriage handle two (kidding, kinda lol), can I go through allllll the new baby stuff again? I worry about giving the new baby as much attention and then I worry about my boy now! AHhhhhhhh… but it’ll be okay 🙂 – it always is 🙂

Cheers xo

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Melinda says · 11.12.14

Thanks for this message Kate- this is just what I needed to hear! I have a 5 week old baby and we had a rough night. I always though I would love the NB stage, but sometimes it’s overwhelming (esp. after nights like last night where I didn’t even get my usual 3 2-hour stretches of sleep).

Good luck with the new baby and enjoy your time left with little David!

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Jennifer says · 11.12.14

I, too, had my children spaced closely together; 3 in 3 1/2 years. They are boy/girl/boy, and although they are now 18, 20, and 22 they still have a remarkably close bond, even though they are now spread across the country. They have distinct memories that they reminisce about and it reminds me that all those sleepless nights, crazy mealtimes, and running them from one activity to another were well worth it. It has made me realize that parenting is a lot of work but they will forever remember the life that we gave them. It wasn’t easy, but they loved that crazy, exciting life that they had and so did we, (now that we think about it!).

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Cher says · 11.12.14

Hi! I don’t have a kid but I do have a nephew who is also turning one, this Saturday to be exact! Even though I don’t see him everyday I do see him enough to know what you mean about them growing personalities. My nephew is getting more demanding on the things he wants for sure as time goes by too hahaha. Also he’s also walking a bit because he likes to mess with things xD Time sure flies by and I can’t wait to see how he turns out 🙂 and I wish your little boy a happy birthday! ^^ I hope he continues to be a healthy little boy!

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Megan says · 11.12.14

I’m another one that looks forward to your David posts each week. There is something so comforting about reading what other mother’s are going through with their children. I have a 4 year old daughter and a 2 month old son and the age gap is big enough to where I have forgotten literally everything about the new baby stage. It has been quite a shock all over again, ha. One of the many good things you have going for you is that you still have all of the new baby stuff fresh in your mind, so you pretty much know what to expect and you also know that the fog does clear eventually. Still waiting for that to happen the second time around, but I know we’ll get there 🙂

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valerie says · 11.12.14

Thanks for the honesty. It’s the reason your blog is on my bookmark bar.

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Catherine says · 11.12.14

Thank you for your message to new moms, Kate. 🙂 I am 22 weeks pregnant with our first, and I am so looking forward to meeting our little man. I love reading your posts about motherhood (in addition to all of your other posts, of course!). Thank you for sharing this more vulnerable side of your life with your readers. Little David is so cute, and I wish you all the best with the rest of your pregnancy!

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Sarah @ 12 Twenty Seven says · 11.12.14

Love that you are appreciating the challenges and rewards that come with David growing! He is so cute and I know that he brings you and Justin so much joy! My brother and I are 14 months apart and our childhood was so much fun because we were so close in age! 🙂

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Kelsye says · 11.12.14

I could not help but smile while reading this. My second child is 8 months old and watching her do all these things has been amazing. After my first child was born I had post-partum depression. All the memories I have of her are fuzzy until she is abut 17 months old when I had my youngest. When I found out our children were going to be so close together I was scared. I’m not going to lie those first few weeks were hard. But now as we have gotten into a routine it seems like our family just works better with them being so close. They play together, take naps together, and love each other. It’s not uncommon to find them holding hands when they sleep. There are those times when they have a little battle but they are usually short lived and few and far between. Cherish these times because they will go by so quickly.

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Tiffany says · 11.12.14

I love this and found so much of what you said to be true for me too. I now have a 3 yr old and almost 8 month old and I feel like things also get so much better in having 2 kids (yes, harder too obviously!). I feel SO lucky to get to experience having 2 kids and feel like having the second made me really come into my own as a mom. The first one was so.hard. in adjusting to a new life, no sleep, etc, but I have enjoyed the young babyhood so much more with my second daughter and I DREADED it before she was born. I hope you find the same thing with your next precious bundle on the way.

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Beth says · 11.12.14

Our son is nearly 2 1/2 & he did not crawl for long, either. He never even wore the knees out of any pants, it was THAT short!
I was worried that he would be missing developmental milestones by NOT crawling but our pediatrician didn’t seem to be worried, & he’s advancing just fine. Some kids crawl, some are ready to get up on their feet & get going. Be prepared to move EVERYTHING up a few shelves & out of his reach 🙂

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Patti says · 11.12.14

Fear not! I too struggled with my first child as a newborn, but enjoyed him more and more through each little milestone. So I was totally surprised when the dreaded newborn-stage was so delightful the second time around! You are an experienced, confident mother now…and each baby comes with a different little personality. Congratulations on your almost one year old and new little one that’s almost here, it’s going to be great! And don’t blink…for all my kids’ little milestones have added up to a senior in high school, a new driver, and a very moody tween:)

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Kate says · 11.12.14

that’s encouraging to hear, thank you!!

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Kristen says · 11.12.14

I cannot tell you how much I needed to hear this today. I have a 6.5 month old and it has been such a joy to watch him evolve and grow. While I am sad that he is growing up, it is great to see what he can accomplish…even at this stage. I have loved watching David grow and seeing in a couple months where my little man might be. I am so excited for your family and your 2nd baby. We too hope to have a second in the near future. God Bless.

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Tyana says · 11.12.14

Thats so adorable

check me out
xx
tyana
theluxedition.blogspot.com
bloglovin.com/theluxedition

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Jamie says · 11.12.14

I totally agree! I don’t miss the newborn stage. Babies are such sweet gifts, but there is nothing better than seeing the tiny PEOPLE you are charged with raising, guiding, and loving. Mine is now 2, and I think it’s the best age so far!!

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chelsey @ clean eating chelsey says · 11.12.14

He looks like such a sweetie pie! I have loved every single stage with my girls, but being in the newborn stage seems foreign to me now!

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Runt says · 11.12.14

Okay… so I’m totally stalker status over here but MAN! I remember reading through your pregnancy posts and thinking “what?! I’ve been feeling that way/have been having those exact symptoms!”. Also knowing that our little guys are only a month a part, you’ve secretly been my blogger best friend! Ha! :]
My little guy just turned 10 months and he’s not “hands and knees” crawling either! He refuses to get on his knees! BUT, he is walking around furniture, pushing the toys along, etc. Our first borns were also meant to be best friends!
OH AND we both live in NC!
Okay, stalker status over! :]

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Kate says · 11.12.14

It’s a small, small world isn’t it? Congrats on your little guy! 🙂

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Tarah says · 11.12.14

It just keeps on getting better. My sons are 2 & 3 right now & I was just telling my husband I wish I could hit the “slow mow” button on life right now. This age is so fun with them, I love it. They have no filter for whatever they say, you really see their personalities shine through and to hear their train of thought is just the most amusing thing. You’re going to love have two so close in age, I know I do!

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Tarah says · 11.12.14

P.S – two of my cousins never crawled, they went from nothing, to pulling up & walking. They’re both in high school & both totally fine. Each baby is different.

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Kelsey says · 11.12.14

Hello! I have never commented on your blog before, but I just had to today. I have been reading your blog for awhile now, and I really love it! I am a new mom, and our baby girl is three weeks old tomorrow. I was feeling really discouraged today in how rough our nights have been with her fussiness and lack of sleep, and your post today was a gift from God of encouragement to me. Thank you!

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Jenny says · 11.12.14

This post made me tear up a little bit. Lately I’ve been struggling with the idea of having children. My husband really want kids, but I am terrified. I am so nervous I’ll be bad mother, that I’ll repeat my parents mistakes, that I will be too tired to invest my full attention to my kids, etc. But reading what you wrote of David learning to pick things up, play with toys, omgosh. I am sitting here in tears! Thank you for reminding me what being a parent is really about and helping diminish my fears. 🙂

xx
Jenny // http://www.mishmoshmakeup.com

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Kristin says · 11.12.14

Jenny, I saw your comment and had to reply! if you do decide to have a baby, you will amaze yourself with your instincts and skills. All the little doubts will fly away once you hold that baby. Don’t get me wrong, you will always have that fear of making the best decsion, but remember to trust your gut and you can’t go wrong! You will find yourself trying to give your child a better childhood than you had and you will succeed.
Kristin

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meagan says · 11.12.14

Great post! Looking forward to all of your fun adventures with both kids!
-Meg
http://www.smalltownsisters.blogspot.com

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Laura says · 11.12.14

I can relate so much to this post, Kate. My first little one is just a couple weeks older than David and is turning ONE next weekend already. (I am, of course, in full party-planning mode!) You describe the feelings of parenthood so well.

You might be surprised, though, to find that David will start crawling on all fours soon. My guy army-crawled for a full two months and I thought he would skip all fours … but soon after he started pulling up on furniture, he figured it out!

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Kristin says · 11.12.14

Oh it goes too fast! The newborn phase in our house was a bit unpleasant. We really started having fun between 6 and nine months. My son is now 10 and I can’t believe how fast it has gone! I STILL do the ” I wish he would stay this age forever” so you have that to look forward to 🙂 Just hope I am still saying that during the teenage years!

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Allie says · 11.12.14

Kate, this was an amazing post! As a first-time mom to 5-month old twins, I was tearing up as I read this! I had never been around babies before I had mine, and I’ve enjoyed the newborn and baby stage so much more than I expected….and it is so awesome to be able to witness all of the changes in them as they grow and learn. I am fortunate enough to be able to stay home with them (I closed my business when I learned I was going to have twins), and even on the most challenging days (and nights!), I try to remind myself that this is time with them that I will never get back…spit up, dirty diapers and all! So I’m loving life and just having fun with my babies, and I’m really looking forward to the future stages. It seems like just yesterday that you announced you were expecting David, and now he’s going to have a little brother/sister…I’m just so happy for you guys and love hearing about your sweet family!

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Linsey Scamp says · 11.12.14

I have 6 kids aged 1-12 years. Its so exciting all the different stages they go through. I love watching them grow and develop personalities. Its amazing how different all the kids are. It gets more exciting the older they get when they start developing hobbies. Life is so busy but I love to watch all my kids play together (even though there is often plenty of arguing). I wouldn’t change it for the world 🙂

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Nancy says · 11.12.14

Kate, you are so insightful for such a young mommy! That expression perfectly sums up life with children. You anticipate their next stage or accomplishment and yet are wistful for their last one. That feeling will stay with you always! Thank you for your posts – even though my “baby” is in college, your from-the-heart writing brings it all right back. Blessings to your family as you grow and change. Enjoy it all!

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Jennie says · 11.13.14

This was beautifully written. I don’t say this to sound condescending, but you are wise beyond your parenting years, meaning that you’ve figured out things that take many of us many more years to realize. You really seem to enjoy “the small things,” and your gratitude and upbeat outlook are truly inspiring.

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Sarai Hansen says · 11.13.14

I started following your blog for all of your amazing hair tutorials and as chance would have it I fell more in love with the blog as I become pregnant last year(a few months after you). I have loved all of your insight and advice. I love being a mommy and I love reading other moms journeys.

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Kristin S says · 11.13.14

This made me all teary for two reasons.
First, I’m so so so happy for you. I loved praying for you back when you were trying to get pregnant and trusting the Lord to grow your family with your first baby.
Second, I just got a little sad. Selfish, I know. This post is not about me! My heart aches to be a wife and mom.

I really am happy for you!!!

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Amanda says · 11.13.14

Kristin, I know exactly how you feel. As someone who’s been there, let me tell you that I promise your time will come! I know that ache- you can feel it in your bones sometimes. Just rest in the promises of God and let Him fill those empty spots. That’s a lot easier said than done, I know. Just know that a total stranger (me) is praying for you!

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Anne Nonna muss says · 11.14.14

Came to your blog after viewing your You Tube tutorials. Your instructions are wonderfully clear and entertaining. Furthermore, you blog is beautifully written and I was amazed at the content. That you recommended the This American Life series was astonishing (for your youthful age) and gives me insight to your remarkable spirit.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and rest well. Your priorities are well placed and I’m certain your clients understand and are willing to wait. Did I mention that I’d love to have you for a stylist?

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