EARH mer gersh. mer ear.
This post contains images of my ear that are, how do I say this. . . not cute. There is no blood, but it’s still kind of gross. If you get nauseous easily, you may not want to continue reading.
I’ll keep the photos nice and small.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
So, what happened to my ear is really ear-itating.
I was ear-nsecure about it.
You may think I’m being ear-rational, but what happened was sort of ear-regular.
(I can’t take credit for the ear-itating word–grabbed that idea from Instagram.)
Here’s what happened in a nutshell:
My right earring hole embarked on a journey. It was determined to make it’s way to the bottom of my ear lobe.
I think it was trying to escape.
Maybe it attempted to whisper, “Kate. . .Kate . . . lighten up on the heavy earring usage, okay? Otherwise I’m outta here. . .”
I didn’t listen. I kept right on wearing earrings, no matter how stretched out the original hole became.
Beauty is pain right?
So, Monday I popped these little beauties in to shoot a few quick headshots and when I took them out I thought, “let me check my ear hole status. . .”
I walked to the bathroom, and pulled my ear a little bit to the right to see just how long/large the hole had become.
I gasped when I saw it was only connected at the bottom of my lobe by a tiny thread.
I’ll give you a minute to regain your composure.
“OH MY GOSH. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.” I laughed at the ridiculous situation I had gotten myself into, and sat down at the computer to look into a few plastic surgeons.
That’s when I wrote this status update.
After calling a few offices I was finding that a lot of surgeons were booked until mid-april. I didn’t want to wait that long. I called a few dermatology offices as well, but couldn’t find any that did earlobe repair.
I finally found an office that could take me next week, but I took a long shot and asked if they had anything available for the following day. Turns out that they did.
So I set up a “consultation + optional procedure” appointment. The consultation is $75.00, and if I didn’t feel comfortable going through with it, I could leave after paying that amount. But, if I wanted to go ahead and have the procedure done right away, I could simply stay for the appointment and that $75 would be applied to the procedure.
I arrived at the appointment about 30 minutes early. When I’m nervous, I’m early. And I was nervous.
I entered the office and sat for about 15 minutes. The doctor came to get me, and we went to her office and discussed my options. She took a peek at my ear and seemed unimpressed–as if that was completely normal. And that made me feel good.
She asked, “So, what happened?”
“Oh, I’m an idiot. My ear was slowly stretching out and I continued to wear really heavy earrings for, like, a year.”
Oddly enough, only my right ear stretched out. My left ear is completely fine.
We talked a little bit about the procedure and she drew me a little picture of what she was going to do.
Since the line/hole reached almost completely to the bottom of my ear lobe, she was going to have to cut a triangle out of my lobe, and then stitch it together.
A lot of people asked if I could just have it stitched up, but the skin had already healed. It wanted to be that large hole. So the doctor had to provide fresh skin that can grow together. ::yack::
I decided to go through with it and asked her two things that I was worried about:
1. Is it going to hurt?
2. Are my ear lobes going to be uneven?
She assured me that it wont hurt, and she’s fairly certain the lobes will be as even as possible when it’s all said and done.
She took me back to the receptionist, I paid the mere $450.00. (please sense the sarcasm I’m trying to imply right here.)
When I handed my card to the receptionist I said, “most expensive ear lobe ever!” We laughed. I laughed in a I’m-desperate-just-take-my-money kind of way, and I’m sure she laughed in a you-poor-thing-why-did-you-keep-wearing-earrings sort of way.
I went back to the procedure room and a nurse talked me through the steps. My heart was racing at this point. I’ve never had any sort of procedure done (other than wisdom teeth) and while I don’t mind needles, blood, etc; it’s the idea of something about to happen that gets me worked up.
So, I laid down on the table, they cleaned and prepped me, and then the doctor talked me through every step. I was very grateful for that.
She said the numbing was the worst part and that didn’t hurt one bit. Once I was completely numb, she did her thing. She mentioned I may be able to hear things, but I shouldn’t feel anything at all. And that was true–although the noises weren’t bad. Frankly, if you compare it to going to the dentist, this was a breeze!
Once she was finished cutting, she stitched me up. I could hear the thread, but again–I couldn’t feel a single thing.
It was over in about 8 minutes. Totally and completely painless.
They told me how to care for it, and set up an appointment in about a week for the stitch removal.
She snapped a quick picture at the end to show me what it looked like, and my ear just looks like it has two small spiders crawling up it.
No big deal.
Black stitches. C’mon. Don’t I get a color choice? (I’m completely kidding)
They handed me some ointment to put over the wound this week, and sent me on my way.
So, overall? It was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
The rest of the day I felt like I had a inner ear ache, but it wasn’t very painful.
I woke up the next morning to a slight blood bath, which was awesome. The doctor warned me that may happen. I may apply a steri-strip at night now to keep from bumping it.
I’ll get my stitches removed next week, and begin the healing process–which involves the prevention of scar tissue. I have to give myself tiny ear massages daily and wait 12 weeks before I have the hold re-pierced.
On a completely vain note, I’m bummed it will be 12 weeks. But, you gotta do what you gotta do. And my ear needs a break for crying out loud.
And I Do NOT. Do not want to do this again.
So, there you have it. My ear-ntresting story about my ear surgery.
If you are putting off this procedure, just go do it. It’s quick, painless, and you’ll be glad your ear doesn’t look mangled any longer.
Also? If there is a “before and after” book in the waiting area of the plastic surgeons office–don’t look at it.