Mindful Phrases I Tell Myself

Merry Christmas!

While I generally like to keep things light around here, I thought I would share my most repeated phrases that bounce around in my mind during any given day of the week.

“Good for her, not for me.” I don’t remember where I first heard this but it is a great exercise to help combat any feelings of envy that may creep in, especially when I’m scrolling through social media. A specific example is when I see families traveling all over the world, making it look effortless. While I *know* that I am only seeing a highlight reel, sometimes I feel envious of the experience and memories they are making. But frankly, neither Justin nor I have dreams to travel all over the world with young kids. We do plenty of local trips and have been out of state a handful of times with the kids, but we generally lean more towards creating memories at home than focusing on international travel. To be explicit, I am not saying one is better than the other, but simply sharing that knowing yourself, your family, etc. means you can release yourself from a thought of envy by affirming “good for her, not for me”. A keyword that is very intentionally missing from this phrase is the word “never”. I’m not saying “good for her, never for me” because things are always changing.

“Be where you are” (an iteration of the well-known Eckhart Tolle quote) I think about this a lot in regards to my kids. I’ve shared that Justin and I have chosen to hold off on sports/extracurriculars for our kids at this time. We’ve done swim classes and a short intro to Soccer camp, but beyond that our only weekly commitment is our meeting with our small group from church. I waffled, and still do occasionally, on this decision more than Justin did, and given our personal childhood sports commitments I’m genuinely surprised at his position on it. He did multiple sports throughout his youth. I played basketball for a millisecond in Kindergarten but I was the only one on the team who didn’t score a basket (I’ll wait while you get back into your chair from falling off in extreme shock). I was more artistic and crafty as a child, and I’m so glad that I had time after school to work on clay figures, beaded bracelets, or practice the Macarena dance. So for our kids, we’re waiting for them to take the lead. When they get to an age where they have an interest in exploring either a sport or another hobby, we will do what we can to make it happen! But for these brief years of elementary and pre-school, before hours of homework and hanging out with friends, we are opting for space and flexibility, and freedom for the kids. We’re rollerblading in the driveway together, or baking cookies on a random day of the week just because. I don’t believe there is one correct way to raise children or to manage your family’s commitments, but this is simply what we’ve chosen to do right now! So the “be where you are” comes into play when I take a breath and notice that we’re all home in the evenings together.

I find it much easier to be flexible, gracious, and accommodating when I take a moment to process something internally before forming my opinion. And these two phrases fit well into this season of my life, so I wanted to share in case it helps you too.


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Kristin says · 01.03.22

“Good for her, not for me” is one of my favorites too! Amy Poheler says this in her excellent book, “Yes Please”, so perhaps you had read that and it stuck with you. 🙂

ramona says · 01.03.22

those are both beautiful phrases. everyone (every family) has to do what’s right for them. i love how you respect yourself (and your children) to remain true to your priorities. <3

April says · 01.03.22

Both of these are helpful phrases. Thank you for sharing!

Heidi says · 01.04.22

My new favorite phrase 🙂

Heather says · 01.04.22

I can respect your thoughts on activities with your children but I think of it a little differently- I only have one child left at home (11) too so maybe it makes it different for me but, extra activities outside of school are a way for my son to try new things and meet new friends with interests the same as his. He plays piano and goes to practice on Thursday and he has Boyscouts on Tuesdays…. he played violin at school. I love that he likes trying new things and meeting new people. It’s a was for me to meet new people too. I guess in the end families just do what works for them. Thanks for sharing…..

Kelly says · 01.09.22

Love this so so much!!!! ❤️

Nicole Chalut says · 01.09.22

This is perfectly said and something that hit home for me ❤️

Stephanie kennedy says · 01.09.22

Good stuff. Thanks for sharing.

Sarah Nickels says · 01.09.22

Love these phrases! Thank you so much for sharing!

Jenny George says · 01.09.22

Great reminders!!! Thank you for your mindful posts! 🙂

Eileen Messmer says · 01.22.23

I applaud this!! Do what’s right for your family! I’m old enough to be your mother, and I think you are raising well adjusted kids. I work in a school so I see plenty of kids who are not. Love your content, Kate!

Bridget says · 01.22.23

Love both of those phrases!