3 Things I Learned about my Boys During “Stay At Home”

05
20

We’ve been home for 8-ish weeks now due to Coronavirus.

While I’ve been on a bit of a rollercoaster at times, and at other times very content, there are a few things I noticed about my boys during this season that I want to remember.

David, my oldest, is 6, and Luke is 5. They are 14 months apart in age and were confused as twins for a bit of time when they were both really little (like 2 and 3). Now that they are both getting older, you can see their unique personalities more. And since Coronavirus has shut down so much of the outside world, this is probably the most condensed amount of time I’ve spent with my boys in the house since they started pre-school and kindergarten.

I’ve noticed a few things, and I’m grateful to be able to have this time with them to really witness their pure personalities coming through.

One. They are resilient and flexible. Both of them fell right into this “stay at home” life without a moment of complaint or sadness. They couldn’t quite grasp what was happening, of course, but we did share that people were getting sick and we needed to stay home to stay healthy and make sure we didn’t get anyone else sick with our germs. This didn’t alarm either of them, they accepted it as a very pragmatic fact of the world right now, and only occasionally asked if we could go to Defy Apex or to a park to play.

It actually surprised me how fine they were with staying home every day. Other than weekly swim school which we stopped over a year ago, the boys haven’t done any sports or activities outside of attending school. We go plenty of places with them, from the library to indoor trampoline parks, and I thought the abrupt inability to go anywhere would take a toll on them. It really didn’t, and they also were pretty content with not returning to school.

Schooling at home is an entirely different subject that I won’t jump into too much in this post, but I can say that they both have done well and it’s been great to be able to essentially pull Luke up to “kindergarten” level with David and teach them both the same thing. The greatest challenge in homeschooling has been managing my 2-year-old Emily during that time.

Two. They play really well together but also have very different interests. They have always played well together and I’m so thankful for that. However, if you were to give them a quiz and ask them a multiple-choice question about what they prefer, I’m positive you would get entirely different results from both of them. David is a “worker” and will drop anything to be able to help Justin with anything he’s doing around the house. Luke prefers to play inside and is really thoughtful and considerate. Both boys love to ride their bikes and scooters, and Luke is a little bit braver when it comes to doing various flips or jumps in a bounce house or on a trampoline. I think David feels competitive with Luke when it comes to physical activity, while Luke generally isn’t bothered if David can do something that he can’t do.

Three. They thrive on individual attention. The wonderful part of having two boys close together in age is built-in playmates, and that has been an absolute gift during this “stay at home” time when we aren’t playing with friends. It’s easy for Justin and I to look at our 3 kids and put them into two groups: “the boys” and “the baby”. And every single time, I kid you not, that either Justin or I have individual time with either of the boys, we share with the other person how nice it is to just focus on the one kid. They can easily egg each other on, so when you remove the other from a situation, it’s like you are with a completely different child!

There has been so much to learn during this “Stay at Home” season, and some things are easier than others. The depth of loss, pain, and struggle that so many people are dealing with is something I feel deeply, so it has taken diligent effort to compartmentalize what I can in order to see the good. And one of the greatest goods, that was highlighted so clearly when this virus started stealing so much of it, is time.

I’m so grateful for the time with my kids, and for the ability to see their unique personalities shine through in this season.

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Comments (20)

  1. Sherry says
    Posted May 20, 2020

    They are so fun to watch growing up, as you share your lives with all of us. All three of your children are adorable. Thank you for sharing and maybe they can go to one of the parks soon. Be safe and stay healthy !!

  2. Pamela Webreck says
    Posted May 20, 2020

    What a nice post! And what a wonderful way to look at a difficult situation! Thank you for the positive attitude that you always display. I have a grown daughter in NYC and every day is a worry. I would love to have her at home under my roof! Enjoy these days!

    • Kate says
      Posted May 20, 2020

      NYC is certainly a scary place to be right now. I hope she’s staying safe and well!!

  3. Hilary says
    Posted May 20, 2020

    I love this post! We’re sheltering at home with our toddler, and while it’s been stressful at times, we are really enjoying the extra time with her! I keep a notebook where I write notes to our daughter, updates, holidays, etc. and it’s been so funny and strange to have like a quarantine page in her book. However, we’ve made some really fun routines during this time.

  4. Kelly says
    Posted May 20, 2020

    I just love the pictures of the younger days. They are such precious individuals and you and Justin are raising them to be good men. This is so heartwarming.

    • Kate says
      Posted May 20, 2020

      Thank you!

  5. Posted May 20, 2020

    Your boys are really cute! ❤️✨

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
    http://charmainenyw.com

  6. Posted May 20, 2020

    This was so sweet! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  7. Sonya Premako says
    Posted May 20, 2020

    During the years of Homeschooling our son I came upon a quote at the top of the page of one of our Abeka books that read:
    “Some of the most important work you will ever do, will be done in your own home.”
    How that inspired me. Childrearing lasts for but a few fleeting years during which, not only do children learn, but also the parents as they grow in God’s design.
    I wish you great joy as you develop your precious children’s lives. 🙂

  8. Chris says
    Posted May 20, 2020

    What a lovely post to read! I’m one the other sidenof things as a teacher and I really miss my class and seeing all their developments and their progress. Reading posts like this is great, it really reminds me that even if I’m not there in person and only virtually, they are still learning amd growing and achieving new things. Personally this stay at home time has been both a great chance and incredibly frustrating for me. It’s given me the chance to spend a lot of extra time with my cat, which I’m very grateful for, but it has also been really hard not to see the kids every day and actually see them progress.

  9. Linda Culp says
    Posted May 20, 2020

    Loved reading your experience with your children. They are absolutely adorable! I also have three (adult) children and my youngest still lives at home, working and just got his Masters (virtual graduation). He took up baking sourdough bread as a diversion from his stressful schedule. We’ve had great lunches together everyday and it’s been so nice spending this time together. For that, I’m thankful!

  10. Jenene says
    Posted May 20, 2020

    You are such a sweet mama to your kiddos. 🙂

  11. Stacey says
    Posted May 20, 2020

    What a nice post! I have two boys 22 months apart (4 &2) and it has been so nice watching their friendship grow during this time at home. One is cautious and a nurturer and the other is not scared of anything! Seeing their personalities come out has been a joy and glad that you shared similar sentiments.

  12. Geralin Franchina says
    Posted May 20, 2020

    So nice! You are right, while so many things are uncertain, there are aspects of this time to be grateful for. Spending relaxed quality time with our children and families is definitely a blessing. Thanks for sharing your beautiful family with us!😊

  13. Posted May 20, 2020

    This is such a fun post and I love this different “peek” into your lives!

  14. Amy says
    Posted May 20, 2020

    Love this post! I have two boys as well, 2 and 5, and it has shocked me how resilient they have been through this. I have told anyone who asks that I am grateful for that more than anything. They are so happy to be home having tons of family time!
    PS – My 5 year old loves “convos with Luke” 😊

  15. Michele says
    Posted May 21, 2020

    As a teacher in a traditional school schedule in New York State, I was wondering what the pandemic has done to David’s school schedule, since you’ve described it as being more of a trimester year layout. Not being judgmental! Just curious as someone who only knows teaching in one type of schedule and wanting to broaden My understanding of alternatives!

  16. Ashley says
    Posted May 21, 2020

    This is such a blessing that came from quarantine! You got to spend extra time learning these things about your boys!

  17. Lynda Van Dierendonck says
    Posted May 21, 2020

    Hi Kate, I have been watching you on YouTube for about 2 years. While I am a bit older than you (55) with one son (21), I love to hear about your family- especially this particular post. You are such a calm and thoughtful soul, beautiful inside as much as outside. My only complaint is that I have bought Soooo many products!!! Lol, I love to try new goodies, and our coloring is very similar. Have you or would you ever consider doing a Jane Iredale haul? I have been loving her products for almost 30 years. Would love to see what you think. Stay well. Lynda

  18. Jess says
    Posted May 26, 2020

    Beautiful! There is nothing like alone time with each child. So special. Also, them holding those pumpkins is so darn adorable!