Circa 2007, in our dating years
I sent an AIM message to the girl who was interested in him saying I needed to talk to her. These details are a big foggy but we spoke about what her interested level was and I mentioned that he expressed interest in me earlier that evening. She immediately assured me that her crush wasn’t very serious and said it was okay for me and him to start down the path of dating.
I can’t remember when I told Justin, I imagine it was that next day when I saw him on campus, but what I do remember from that conversation was me telling him I wanted to move slow.
I had just gotten out of a long term relationship and didn’t want to jump into another one too quickly. It basically killed me inside to say this, because I was so smitten with him, but I felt it was the right thing to do.
As only young people would do, we decided we would come up with a “term” to denote when I was ready to call him my boyfriend. We decided that when I was ready, I would tell him by telling him that I wanted to get pizza. (recalling this memory is so hilarious because it would make so much more sense to just shoot the man straight but for some reason we decided this was the way to do it!)
We were spending time together, almost daily like we had been beforehand, and on a random Friday night I was genuinely craving pizza. I didn’t mean “let’s be boyfriend/girlfriend pizza”, I just wanted regular pizza. I said something to him about getting pizza and his eyes lit up. I remember thinking, “Well, I mean, this was inevitable, let’s just go for it” since we were practically acting like a dating couple already with all the time we were spending together.
We got pizza and agreed that we were dating.
We dated for about 24 hours before I dumped him. We met at the park and I told him this was too fast, I needed more time. He was great with it and emphasized that I could take as much time as I needed and he would wait. I appreciated his kindness and understanding in this time.
I think I waited about a week before I was ready again, and then it was officially official. We were a couple. I believe the same day we decided to become a couple I was at his apartment that he shared with a few guy friends doing laundry and I found myself humming Mendelssohn’s wedding march. He noticed and I laughed, a little bit embarrassed. I guess it was just a subconscious feeling about the future or something.
Dating him was a joy. We stayed out so late talking in his Nissan Xterra. And when I mean late, I’m talking until 5:00 in the morning or so. We just couldn’t get enough of each other. He was deeply romantic and sweet, I fell pretty hard pretty fast.
We saw each other weekly in philosophy class, passing notes the entire time. Neither of us paid attention in class and studying at the library was pretty ineffective. We just talked the entire time. Justin is a good student and he’s smart but also applies himself and works very hard to achieve good grades. I was a pretty big distraction to him in that class which led him to getting his worst grade in college. I’m pretty sure I ended up with a “B” and he got a “C”. We laugh about this now saying we are happier with the result of that class being our relationship versus good grades.
About a month or so after we had started dating, we were sitting in his Xterra and he said he had something to tell me. He was holding my face in his hands and looked right into my eyes. I asked, “What is it?”
He gave me a half smile and said to me, “How do you not know?”