My 12 week old 3rd Grader
How to wear Pantone’s colors of 2014
Am I right or what?
I feel like the fog finally lifted about a week or so ago. I pretty much know what the average day will look like, and I’m learning David more and more each day.
The first 12 weeks were challenging. I never really understood what people meant when they said parenting is “hard”. When I think of hard things I think of climbing mountains, running marathons, taking an difficult exam. But parenting? Hard? It just never made sense to me.
And then I went and had a baby and was all,”ohhhhhhh. So this is what you meant. . . .“
Having a baby is challenging, in the deepest and truest sense of the word. I wouldn’t say that David is the most difficult baby around, but I definitely wouldn’t say he’s a walk in the park either.
I wasn’t prepared for just how consuming it is. Every thought revolved around eating, sleeping, or awake time.
Oftentimes, when we were in the thick of a difficult week, Justin and I would sit down on the couch at the end of the night and blankly stare at the wall.
“I had no idea it would be this challenging,” we would say to each other. We were both pushed farther towards our limits than we could even imagine. It was around this time that I was also in the throws of breastfeeding issues. Excruciating pain at every feeding was tearing me down, little by little. Without going into too many personal details here, I have since stopped breastfeeding and feel like it was the right decision for us. I wish it would have been different, as I had hoped to breastfeed for longer, but it simply didn’t work that way. I’ll try again with my next baby!
The little glimmers of hope, like a smile or a long nap, were what motivated me and helped keep my spirits up. I would say a quick prayer every morning before I entered his nursery for God to give me superior patience and not let me carry yesterdays’ stress into the following day.
It took a lot of convincing throughout the day for me to decide that it was a “good day”. And now, I’m able to see and experience good days naturally. I don’t have to tell myself that it’s good. I’m happier, David is smiley as ever, and I feel like I’m in a bit of a groove.
It was essential, absolutely essential, to have other mom friends to text throughout the day. Whether I needed to vent or share a victory, I had people to share that with. It also helped that I tried to stay naively positive. If you are a parent it is no news to you that people will steal your beaming joy about a long nap or an evening of no fussing by telling you to “just wait” or “yeah, give it two more weeks and everything will be different. She’ll never sleep again.”
Sometimes, I think that’s their way of trying to relate to you by sharing their experience with the same thing, that ultimately didn’t go as well as you hope. The pessimism would temporarily get me down but I figured out how to push through it and not let it get to me. I preferred the “ignorant bliss” of hoping, just hoping, that the toughest night was behind me.
But, like I mentioned before, I feel emotionally stronger and am more resilient than I was even a few short weeks ago. I have found joy in parenting, and am even more thankful than ever that God gave Justin and I this gift.
Whew. I sat down at the computer to write a little post about David and all that came spilling out. It’s rather personal, but I think it would have helped me to know just how difficult those first few weeks are. So if you are in the throws of it, stay strong. It does get better.
David is so close to laughing I just can’t stand it. He gurgles when he smiles and I hold my breathe waiting for a laugh to slip out.
He’s a little night-sleeping champion. He typically gets up at 7:00a, so I have been getting up at 6:00a to work out (I’m doing T-25) and have a little quiet time before I get him up. For me, it’s a game-changer to be able to start the day by myself before jumping into “mom-mode”.
We have another flight coming up soon and I can only hope that he does as well as he did last time!
David is a wiggle worm but as soon as Justin comes into the room, or simply into his line of sight, everything stops. He lays still and just stares at Justin. It’s really sweet. I can’t wait to see their relationship develop as David becomes more interactive and can play with Justin.
Although I could keep going on and on about the adorable things he does, It’s time to wrap this post up. I hope this was a little encouraging to my fellow mom’s or mom’s to be.