My 12 week old 3rd Grader

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I put David in a pair of cargo pants and he suddenly aged about 7 years.



Am I right or what?

I feel like the fog finally lifted about a week or so ago. I pretty much know what the average day will look like, and I’m learning David more and more each day.

The first 12 weeks were challenging. I never really understood what people meant when they said parenting is “hard”. When I think of hard things I think of climbing mountains, running marathons, taking an difficult exam. But parenting? Hard? It just never made sense to me.

And then I went and had a baby and was all,”ohhhhhhh. So this is what you meant. . . .

Having a baby is challenging, in the deepest and truest sense of the word. I wouldn’t say that David is the most difficult baby around, but I definitely wouldn’t say he’s a walk in the park either.

I wasn’t prepared for just how consuming it is. Every thought revolved around eating, sleeping, or awake time.

Oftentimes, when we were in the thick of a difficult week, Justin and I would sit down on the couch at the end of the night and blankly stare at the wall.

“I had no idea it would be this challenging,” we would say to each other. We were both pushed farther towards our limits than we could even imagine. It was around this time that I was also in the throws of breastfeeding issues. Excruciating pain at every feeding was tearing me down, little by little. Without going into too many personal details here, I have since stopped breastfeeding and feel like it was the right decision for us. I wish it would have been different, as I had hoped to breastfeed for longer, but it simply didn’t work that way. I’ll try again with my next baby!

The little glimmers of hope, like a smile or a long nap, were what motivated me and helped keep my spirits up. I would say a quick prayer every morning before I entered his nursery for God to give me superior patience and not let me carry yesterdays’ stress into the following day.

It took a lot of convincing throughout the day for me to decide that it was a “good day”. And now, I’m able to see and experience good days naturally. I don’t have to tell myself that it’s good. I’m happier, David is smiley as ever, and I feel like I’m in a bit of a groove. 

It was essential, absolutely essential, to have other mom friends to text throughout the day. Whether I needed to vent or share a victory, I had people to share that with. It also helped that I tried to stay naively positive. If you are a parent it is no news to you that people will steal your beaming joy about a long nap or an evening of no fussing by telling you to “just wait” or “yeah, give it two more weeks and everything will be different. She’ll never sleep again.”

Sometimes, I think that’s their way of trying to relate to you by sharing their experience with the same thing, that ultimately didn’t go as well as you hope. The pessimism would temporarily get me down but I figured out how to push through it and not let it get to me. I preferred the “ignorant bliss” of hoping, just hoping, that the toughest night was behind me. 

But, like I mentioned before, I feel emotionally stronger and am more resilient than I was even a few short weeks ago. I have found joy in parenting, and am even more thankful than ever that God gave Justin and I this gift.

Whew. I sat down at the computer to write a little post about David and all that came spilling out. It’s rather personal, but I think it would have helped me to know just how difficult those first few weeks are. So if you are in the throws of it, stay strong. It does get better. 

David is so close to laughing I just can’t stand it. He gurgles when he smiles and I hold my breathe waiting for a laugh to slip out. 

He’s a little night-sleeping champion. He typically gets up at 7:00a, so I have been getting up at 6:00a to work out (I’m doing T-25) and have a little quiet time before I get him up. For me, it’s a game-changer to be able to start the day by myself before jumping into “mom-mode”.

We have another flight coming up soon and I can only hope that he does as well as he did last time

David is a wiggle worm but as soon as Justin comes into the room, or simply into his line of sight, everything stops. He lays still and just stares at Justin. It’s really sweet. I can’t wait to see their relationship develop as David becomes more interactive and can play with Justin. 

Although I could keep going on and on about the adorable things he does, It’s time to wrap this post up. I hope this was a little encouraging to my fellow mom’s or mom’s to be. 

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Kacia Hosmer says · 03.12.14

you are doing SUCH an amazing job. know that you encourage me in motherhood so SO so much! xo!

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LJo says · 03.12.14

I also get up before my son to do T25… Well to do the modifications :). Doing fab and some quiet time is the sweetest way to start the day ! Thanks for sharing. Enjoy that sweet boy !!

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Tammy says · 03.12.14

He is adorable !!! Cargo pants are the cutes on little boys 🙂

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Amanda MacGregor says · 03.12.14

I’m not a mum or mum to be but I still love reading about how you’re getting on as a new mum and the challenges you face. It’s so refreshing for someone to be so honest about it being difficult and dealing with what each new day brings. As someone who is still a few years away from thinking about becoming a parent I find it really encouraging to learn there will be days when it will get the better of you but that’s ok you’ve got tomorrow to start again with what you’ve learned today. I find you so inspirational on so many levels and I appreciate how much you share with your readers.

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MTJ's Momma says · 03.12.14

I loved this post!!! My “baby” just turned 4 in December but I remember feeling how much of a transition it is. I can completely relate with the breastfeeding. I was determined to do it and when it wasn’t working for him nor me I felt like I missed this big bonding moment we were suppose to have, and soon after I learned that breastfeeding isn’t the be all end all of bonding moments. Thank you so much for this post!

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chelsiewolfe says · 03.12.14

I, too, had similar breastfeeding issues. I had to stop nursing my daughter at around 9 weeks because it was just too much. Having to make that choice felt like one of the biggest defeats and failures of my life. However, Sidney is now 9 months old and very healthy and happy! Prayerfully and assuredly, David will fare the same way. Don’t sweat it!!

PS: What kind of formula is David using? We had issues finding a formula for Sidney as well.

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Kate says · 03.12.14

We feed him Similac Sensitive –it seems to be really great for him!

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karen hoppe says · 03.12.14

Your life will be forever changed (like it hasn’t already) the first time David let’s out a laugh. I can remember having my daughter in her car seat and walking around Target. I was talking to her about which laundry soap I should buy and all of a sudden she just started laughing, like from her belly. I must have walked around that store for and hour just trying to get her to keep doing it. THAT WAS A REALLY GOOD DAY!!! There have been many great days since then too. No one can ever truly tell you what it’s like to be a parent. As wonderful as being a parent is, if anyone ever were to truly convey how hard it is, there would be a lot fewer babies born!! Sounds like you are doing great. It does get easier, I promise.

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Kate says · 03.12.14

cute!!

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JAK says · 03.12.14

I exercise before my kids get up too. Its my quiet/me time. I have 3 and bf’d the first 6weeks, the second 11 months, and the third 18 or 19 months. It can change dramatically with each child. Keep up the good work, mom!

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pretty little things says · 03.12.14

omg those pants are adorable and he seriously has your face to a t!! xo

http://allthingsprettyandlittle.blogspot.com/

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Jessica and Aaron says · 03.12.14

They say the 3 minths after birth are the 4th trimester. Mommy’s hormones are leveling, you’re adjusting to life with baby, postpartum blues can sometimes be a factor. I remember with both my kids having that day when I took a deep breathe and thought, I can do this. We’re going to be all right. 🙂 Prayers for continues strength!

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JessiferSeabs says · 03.12.14

This is so spot on — I remember during my maternity leave feeling like “this isn’t INTELLECTUALLY hard – like, my job works my brain ten times harder, but it is hard in a way I’ve never experienced before.” Above commenter mentioned the “4th trimester” and I totally buy into that theory – I read somewhere once that said that they only reason they are born that early is so that their head can fit through thebirth canal..but really they’re not ready for the outside world until more like 12 months! I believe it! YOu’ve made it through what was, for me, the hardest period – I remember thinking “damn, maternity leave should START at 3 months,” because that’s when they get a lot more fun, and quite honestly, the best part for me was when he started sitting on his own around 7 months… l’ve LOVED every minute since then.

And yes, grown-up pants on a baby boy turn them into teenagers. I always feel the same way when I Put James in jeans or cargos!

I would have lost it without my mom friends during my leave — especially others on maternity leave during MOTN feedings! IT was so great to shoot a text or a fB note and get a response when trying to stay awake at 3 AM!

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Lindsey says · 03.12.14

You are such a great mom! I am a mom to three (ages 3 to 11) and I needed to hear what you said about people stealing your joy with pessimistic talk. Lately if I say one thing about my daughter being sassy or bossy etc… I have a ton of people tell me “You just wait… you haven’t seen nothing yet…. It only gets worse!” I am with you, it may just get worse but I prefer to live with ignorant bliss. David is such a cutie and I LOVE your posts on him and being a mom!

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Nancy Pike says · 03.12.14

A new baby usurps your normal routine and until a “new normal” is established, life does feel very shaky. I remember that feeling so much, especially with my second, as she was a bit more challenging than my first. But like you, suddenly I felt “OK” and realized my “new normal” had arrived. So glad you found good moments and good days along the way. You’re keeping a good perspective. Much joy to you all!

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Jade Morriss says · 03.12.14

My little one is just over 4 months and depending on what his wearing he can look so much older – who knew clothes were such age changers!

Being a mummy is definitely life changing and it can take some adjusting to but once you’ve got yourself in that routine it is a little easier, emphasis on little. Haha! Just remember what an amazing job you’re doing of nurturing another being.

Also, regarding giving up breastfeeding – I know how difficult that is as I too had the same experience. It’s feed to us that breast is best and while that may be true it isn’t always possible for some. I was devastated that I had to switch to formula but ultimately doing what was best for not only my little one but myself too was most important. Breastfeeding was excruciating for me, and not only that but I wasn’t able to produce enough milk for my little one (I hope that’s not to TMI) and so putting him on formula was the right decision. Everything I read and heard made me feel terrible about this decision, but it was the right one.

Woah, sorry for that long comment! Anyway, I really enjoyed this personal post… And I don’t think any of us ever tire of pictures of David – he is a cutie!
🙂
Bits & Bobs

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Kayley Nammari says · 03.12.14

Being a mom is so incredibly challenging! Having to figure out this new, little person while dealing with changing hormones and a partner who is at work all day, unable to help, it’s all so overwhelming. My son is 9 months now and I’m still trying to figure out our days (teething does not help). I remember those first three months, how badly I wanted to breastfeed and much of a failure I felt I was (not to mention how other women made me feel like this too) when it wasn’t working, how Gabe woke up 4+ times a night, how my husband was gone (and still is) for two weeks a month for work, how I had zero family nearby to help. It was horrific. Add postpartum depression and anxiety to the mix and I was a mess. But it gets better, like you said. No one was telling me this so I strive to share it with every new mom, you are a WONDERFUL mother. You are doing your absolute best. You are so loved by your little boy. You are AMAZING and your happy, beautiful son is a reflection of this.

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Megan Turpin says · 03.12.14

I’m 30 weeks along with my first and I find your posts so inspiring! On the surface everything seems so calm and easygoing, so it’s good to know that even great mom’s like yourself get overwhelmed adjusting to mommyhood. I completely understand where you are coming from with the “mom friends” who unintentionally (I hope!) come across as pessimistic. I have struggled with this for most of my pregnancy; having so many people tell me I have no idea what I am getting myself into or just wait and I won’t be so excited and optimistic about things. I too prefer to live in ignorant bliss. Thank you so much for sharing you experiences with us!!

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Jan says · 03.12.14

I hope you don’t let the breastfeeding/formula guilt hit you. You are a good momma and you gave breastfeeding a good go of it. It’s SO HARD. I’m proud of you for trying! Next time, it probably will be easier. We do not live in a culture where breastfeeding is open and supported, making it so isolating and difficult to do.

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Jan says · 03.12.14

P.S. his outfit is adorable!!

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Kate says · 03.12.14

Thankfully I don’t feel very guilty about that. I’m really confident in my decision to do what worked for both of us! That said, I’ll try again with my second because I *did* hope that it was going work!

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Megan says · 03.12.14

Thanks so much for this! My little man is 6 weeks old and I was truly hoping we were going to have longer sleeping stretches by now but the most we typically go at night is 3 1/2-4 hours between feedings. And now he has his first little cold! 🙁 It’s been rough for sure but thankfully breast feeding has not been an issue for us. I was so worried because I’ve heard so many with similar stories to yours and he has been a champ, my body has adjusted perfectly to him and that has been one of our easiest new things. But oh what I wouldn’t give for even just four consecutive hours of uninterrupted sleep!

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Paige McDaniel says · 03.12.14

Getting ready for motherhood…due on March 30! Loving your posts! They are so encouraging 🙂 Instead of “preaching” at us Mommies-To-Be you just are so real. I have been grateful I haven’t run into too many of the “oh it’s going to be really hard, just call me” condescending types. I just want to scream back, “LET ME FIGURE IT OUT!” 🙂 And then smile and say sorry. I can’t wait for my bundle of joy to be here and find out what it is at delivery! And I also can’t wait to figure out all these great wonderful and challenging times you speak of! I love your prayer about not letting yesterdays stresses come into the next day, that is wonderful! Thanks for sharing so much with us!!

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Colleen says · 03.12.14

And it only gets better from here! 🙂

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Brittany DiBella says · 03.12.14

Thankyou for this. My little guy is just over a week and we ate still in the waking him up every 2-3 hours eat phase. I love him to pieces but we are exhausted too. I don’t want to rush this precious time but its encouraging to know having a routine will be possible again.

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Nilda says · 03.12.14

Tanks for this. As a mom to be, I love reading stories that are honest yet still so positive. So many people tend to give you the negative sounding advice and it can be a lot to bear. Keep it up! David is such a cutie!

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Kate says · 03.12.14

Thanks!!

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Michelle says · 03.12.14

He is so cute!! I love the little pants. The first hair cut does that too. All these little things makes them look so grown up. 🙁 I wish I would of had some of the friends I do now back when my kids were little. It would of made getting through the difficult times so much easier. Being a Mom is one of, if not the most difficult job ever. At least I think so. It is also the most rewarding. You are going to have phases like this throughout David’s childhood. Blocks of time where everything is great. Then the next thing you know, it is like someone abducted your child (more of when they are older). LOL One day at a time. 🙂 You have to enjoy each moment. And those really good ones help you get through the not so good. I remember that fog you are talking about. Getting a routine down and getting them so they are sleeping through the night. It sure helps. Although, I still sleep with one ear open and still don’t get a really good nights sleep. LOL I do have to say I really, really.. I mean REALLY miss the baby days. I LOVE the baby days. For me, they went way too fast. I would go back to those sleepless nights and all of that just to be able to hold them like that again. My kids whole growing up went by way too fast!!! One will be 26 in June, another 16 the end of the month and littlest is 7. I am completely sucking up the fact and enjoying it that my sweet boy still likes to cuddle with his Mama, and lets me hug and kiss him all the time. 🙂

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Stacie says · 03.12.14

Thanks for mentioning that breastfeeding didn’t work for you. It didn’t work for me either and I felt such guilt and failure because no one ever talks about that side of it. This motherhood thing is so much easier when we are all real and share the good with the bad!

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Catherine Ray says · 03.12.14

It hurts me when I hear moms felt like a failure when breastfeeding didn’t work for them. I was a lucky mom when it came to breastfeeding and I was able to nurse my son for a year BUT it really makes me angry when I read articles and hear moms shaming other moms for not being able to nurse. I mean you are taking care of a new life and you have to do what is right for not only the baby but also for you. If you aren’t able to take care of yourself how are you expected to take care of that baby? Moms are amazing and we should always lift each other up because we all know how hard it is.

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Hilary J. Busbee says · 03.12.14

^ Amen!

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Katie @ Loverly She says · 03.12.14

Oh man, honesty is so cathartic as a mother. The longer you go pretending everything is just perfect, the harder it is to cope. I always feel a million percent better after a good cry on a bad day! Totally legit. I’m sure you are doing so well. And oh my goodness, what a sweet little bean you have! Eeeee!!

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amber says · 03.12.14

The best parenting advice that we ever received was to remember that it is just a phase – the good and the bad. It really helped put the tough times into perspective. The first three months are the hardest. After they turn one, it always gets better/easier for me.

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Catherine Ray says · 03.12.14

How is T25 working out for you? I got a really bad back injury from Insanity so I was VERY hesitant to try T25 but the whole 25 minute thing really is appealing.

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Kate says · 03.12.14

I don’t think I like home work outs as much as I like going to the gym, so it’s fine but not my favorite

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April M says · 03.12.14

I switched to bottle at 4 weeks with my first and couldn’t have been happier at the time due to frustrating issues. Second child was totally different and I realized it doesn’t matter what you do/don’t do, it’s ultimately up to the child to decide which they prefer.

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Kate Healy says · 03.12.14

Thank you for this post! I’m due Saturday and will try to keep this post in mind as I learn all about parenting. I love your posts about motherhood and David, please keep them coming!

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Deb S says · 03.12.14

This is exactly the post I needed to read right now. I’ve just given birth by csection to my second baby and man did I forget how hard the newborn phase is. I struggled with breastfeeding last time and gave up after three weeks. I had to do it to save my mental health. Recovering from a csection, sleep deprivation and pain from breastfeeding is no joke. I always wanted to try again with my next baby. Well, it’s still painful. I’m not going to give up just yet but this post is a nice reminder that if I can’t do it, things will be just fine. Congrats on your beautiful boy. Thanks for sharing your experience.

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Shasta says · 03.12.14

That mommy fog that is the 4th trimester is HARD. I’m glad that you tried out breastfeeding…and ultimately decided it wasn’t worth the pain. The only way to know is to try. I really had to fight through those first few weeks of pain. Every time Rylie latched, I cringed. Like, toe curling cringe. I ended up seeking out the help of La Leche League and my local breastfeeding support group for help because Rylie wouldn’t take a bottle so I had no choice but to continue. Thankfully they helped me work on her latch and we eventually got over that pain (took 3 weeks) and finally, FINALLY, I was able to relax while breastfeeding.

The best piece of advice I have ever been given about being a mother is this: “Don’t compare your baby to other babies their age.” They all develop at their own pace. Your little one may sleep through the night and continue to do so, another’s baby might have slept well and then decided to wake up every 3 hours. Just because their baby didn’t sleep through the night doesn’t mean your child will do the same.

You are doing a great job being a mother! And I’m jealous that you have been able to work out while baby sleeps. My daughter is attached at the hip to me at all times and we’re coming up on her first birthday. I would give anything to have a little me time while she sleeps by herself. LOL

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Rebecca Castleberry says · 03.12.14

Even though I’m not a mom, I still enjoy reading about your experiences. My husband and I have gone back and forth about kids, and I often wish I had someone to just lay it all out there (honestly) and say “this is what you’ll be in for.” Of course I know every child is different and there’s no step by step parenting manual filled with guarantees, but I like reading about your personal take on being a mom. One thing I will say is that everyone I talk to admits it’s hard; however, they all say that it’s 100% worth every up and down and they wouldn’t change it for anything. 🙂

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Kat says · 03.12.14

Good for you for trying breastfeeding, and being brave enough to stop when it didn’t work. I had the same problem and had to quit also. I really feel like the guilt wrecked a lot of my experience with my newborn. Next time I’ll know that if it isn’t working, it isn’t worth it.

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LesleyEpstein says · 03.12.14

Newborns are hard work. It took me a long time to feel like myself again after having my first. BFing was such a nightmare (I’ll spare all the scabby details) and looking back I’m not sure how I made it to 6 months. Now my oldest is 2 and 1/2 and we also have a little guy just a few days younger than David (born on December 17). Let’s just say he’s a dream compared to my first. BFing has been a breeze (well, relatively) and he’s so much more easy going. I felt like myself again almost immediately and can enjoy him so much more because of it. Anyways, just commenting to tell you that most of us have been there and it does get easier. And just because BFing didn’t work out the first time, doesn’t mean it won’t the 2nd.

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Michelle Rodgers says · 03.12.14

Kate,
This line in your blog has hit me like a ton of bricks “If you are a parent it is no news to you that people will steal your beaming joy about a long nap or an evening of no fussing by telling you to “just wait” or “yeah, give it two more weeks and everything will be different. She’ll never sleep again.”
I remember saying these words to friends and never thought about it as something that was pessimistic. THANK YOU for pointing that out. I am really going to be more mindful of things like that. Congrats on conquering the hard part. It really does get easier but savor every.single.newborn.moment. because it seems to slip by so quickly. I mean he is already wearing cargo pants 🙂

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Kate says · 03.12.14

Im sure she knew your heart!

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Suzie Rohde says · 03.12.14

Thank you for this inspiring post. I have been following you for the last six months and love your BLOG! I have twin boys about a month behind David and I LOVE LOVE LOVE your Wed posts mostly because it give me the hope that the FOG will lift. Today’s post I can 100% relate to and I am looking forward to the smiles and the future milestones once we get past the 1st 12 weeks!

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Kate says · 03.12.14

TWINS. I CAN’T IMAGINE. You are superwoman.

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Shelly Cunningham says · 03.12.14

Suzie, I want to encourage you– the fog will totally lift, and twins will get SO MUCH EASIER! My boys are five and a half now, and I can’t believe how hard it was then they were little. Also, I hope you get to experience a singleton someday, because it is life changing.
http://www.loganandjack.blogspot.com

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Carrie Heider Grant says · 03.12.14

Oh, the sweetness of when your babe will be able to play with Justin. I LIVE for the moments when our son sees his dad walk in the room. BLISS.

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Jamie Smith says · 03.12.14

I feel I could have written this post. So well said. I even had the super challenging breastfeeding experiences you alluded to, and I too stopped earlier than planned. The emotional consumption is what really shocked me. Who knew how many tears would be shed as you watch a breast pump? Or realize there isn’t going to be a nap like you thought? And, yes, having time before the little is up is the only good way to start the day. It really makes me feel more ready for whatever kind of day it is.

Mine is now 17 months. Not only does the tough stuff pass, it really gets more and more fun every day. I love each new age even more than the last. They’re cute as babies, but they are awesome as they grow into little people. There is ever-renewing hope! Each day will bring a new challenge, but it also won’t be the same as the last bad experience or day you had! You’re doing it right if you question everything about yourself!

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Deb Himes says · 03.12.14

You are doing amazing!! It’s so important to find your happy place and know the things that help you relax or destress..just to know your limits when you’re a new mom. Just a heads up though…if you think it’s challenging being a parent now just wait!! lol My “baby” isn’t a teenager just yet but he’s now 5’6″ and wears a size 11 shoe with a mustache!! Gaaahhh!! Would love to jump back to those quiet moments before bed, holding him in my arms, giving him a bottle and staring into his sweet little blue eyes in the dim light. It all happens way too fast and the challenges keep coming but are ever changing. Not matter what it is still an amazing journey and one that I would never trade 🙂

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Jackie Evers says · 03.12.14

Thank you for your honesty in this post! I am a new mom of a sweet 11 week old baby girl and there have been many days these last few weeks where I have doubted myself as a wife and a mother, going to bed at the end of the day feeling defeated and like a failure. But each day is a new day and we have to get up to change those diapers and give snuggles. The snuggles definitely help get me through a day! I can relate to every single thing you have said here, and I love your posts about David and being a mother. Especially given I am usually about one week behind your milestones, still waiting on that full night of sleep and giggles but I think we are close!

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Amy Sue says · 03.12.14

I had a really difficult time breastfeeding too. My supply was almost nonexistent and I had a lot of issues that I won’t mention. Probably similar to you. I REALLY wanted to breastfeed and I put a lot of stress on myself to give it a good try. Finally, I just realized that we would ALL be happier if I just stopped. I was pumping and only getting 1/4 oz anyway. It was hard to realize that it wasn’t going to work, but that was the turning point for me. That’s when the fog lifted for me.

You are doing great! So glad you are enjoying your days more now.

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Becca Clemenson says · 03.12.14

I really enjoy reading all of your posts and the David ones really hit home because I have a niece who was born Nov. 16th and her mom is telling me similar things, and my husband and I are having the “are we ready to have one” talk….This allows me to gain some perspective on how different each baby is. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

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kathy metcalf says · 03.12.14

You’re so right! Those little clothes make him look so much older but still adorable! My boys are grown, but I always said that something happens around the 3 mth mark. You start to get into a routine and everything just starts to click! You’ve passed the hardest partt, until the terrible 2’s then the teenage yrs!! Yikes!! Enjoy him they’re gone too fast!! Xo, Kathy @the Daily Nest http://www.thedailynest.com

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Susan Wright says · 03.12.14

yep, same as the first haircut. But I can see that won’t be for a while yet. lol I had a bald baby also. He is a doll and I love your sense of humor.

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Kristin says · 03.12.14

Great reading your post! My son is 3 1/2 weeks old and it really brings into perspective that the newborn phase is fleeting, (and relatively quick though it sometimes doesn’t feel that way). Pep talks like this have gotten me through the day at times! Glad to hear things are better!

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JSTYMIEST says · 03.12.14

I hear ya, sister!! Parenting is definitely the most challenging role I’ve ever been in! My daughter is 4-months and has brought so much joy to our lives but I can honestly say that I don’t think I’ve ever stressed or cried so much in my life as in the past few months.
Rest assured, although there are still challenging times, we’re into a pretty good routine and it’s SO much better!
Just know that you are doing a great job and little David will most likely be giggling at you any day now and it is so amazing to see (and hear)! He is such a little cutie! I enjoy your posts about him and appreciate your honesty! It really helps to know that there’s new moms out there that are finding this new role to be hard.
Hang in there! And by the way, kudos to you for getting up early to workout and have your quiet time. You’re an inspiration. 🙂

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Alison says · 03.12.14

The first three months of my daughter’s life were the single hardest time of my life. It does get better! Literally– their digestive systems develop completely, they (and therefore you) sleep longer, and they interact with you more. At least with ours, she got easier & easier starting with month three. And then they smile, and hug you back, and eventually say “I love you”… it’s all coming:)

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Elizabeth P says · 03.12.14

Yes, yes and did I mention yes?! The newborn stage is SO DANG HARD! I have two (fabulous) daughters, but the newborn months are by far my least favorite. And with my first child I felt so bad and selfish admitting that. Good News Alert: things only get better! The first year, the second year – so adorable and rewarding! Thanks for your honesty, I know it will encourage another mom out there. 🙂

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Megan McMeans says · 03.12.14

Definitely don’t beat yourself up about stopping breastfeeding. I had to stop pretty quickly as well due to pain and a lack of milk and I was just so relieved when I switched to formula. Feeding time went from being stressful and never-ending to being a happy and stress-free.

Parenting is so bittersweet. When you’re going through the tough stages you just can’t wait for them to be over and then you blink and they’re nearly seven and you’re thinking “where did my baby go?” It all goes so fast.

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Christy says · 03.12.14

You are doing an amazing job, Kate! To be honest, I don’t even remember how hard the newborn stage was. PArker wasn’t a difficult baby it was more of getting use to the thought that I was totally responsible for that little human life. Once we got into the groove of things, it was a game changer. Good Luck!

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Tasha Ortega says · 03.12.14

When switching to formula, did he have any issues with constipation? That’s what I’m going thru right now.

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Kate says · 03.12.14

He didn’t but we did breastmilk + formula for awhile before he was straight formula fed

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J is for Jessica says · 03.13.14

You might try enfamil gentlease. That helped mine with the constipation.

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Lindsay says · 03.12.14

Very well written! As a new mom, I have had many of the same feelings/experiences. My son is now nearly 8 months old and I am amazed that time has gone by so quickly! Every day is a blessing and I find myself trying to remember every little thing that he does… which I know that I won’t, however, aside from his baby book, I’ve been looking for fun ways to document/remember the “little things”. I’d love to see any ideas that you might come up with on this as well!

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Jen&Joelle says · 03.12.14

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leah says · 03.12.14

This is your best “David” post yet. It is so encouraging to hear honest opinions on new mothers. Everybody talks about how perfect motherhood is and having a newborn is the best thing ever. But nobody talks about how stressful and challenging it really is. I’m so glad you posted about “feeling down” for the first few weeks. I was the same way and didn’t understand why I wasn’t in this perfect happy mood like everybody says you will be. I definitely was not head over heals in love with motherhood like I expected to be. It was SO hard…but it’s true, it becomes better and better with each day.

Thank you SO much for posting this. It has given me, and I’m sure plenty of other new moms out there, hope!!!

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Camille Spence says · 03.12.14

Keep it up, Mama. I personally feel like the worst is behind you. Those first few months are rough bc you’re still figuring everything out and you are just so dog tired you can barely keep going. Parenting will bring more challenges as hee gets older, but they wii bring more joys too. Like watching my 2.5 year old daughter playing with her daddy…oh boy, that is the best. She hears him come home and squeals running the whole way over to him. And they are such good friends playing together. That is heaven in earth to watch.
David is adorable!! And you are doing AWESOME!!

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LaChelle says · 03.12.14

You’re doing an amazing job, Kate. And your encouragement to other moms really means a lot. Seriously. I have a 9-week-old, and even though it’s my fourth baby, I guess I still need a fellow mom to reassure me that the fog does lift eventually. I never understood how powerful the concept of ‘hope’ was until I faced the enormous challenges of motherhood. And now that’s the only way I can make it through some days. Hope is so vital. I’m finally beginning to understand why it’s mentioned right along with faith and charity (love) in the Bible.

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Kenz2410 says · 03.12.14

Oh, wow thank you so much for sharing!! I have a 4 month old and I kept feeling like a monster and unappreciative because it is SO hard. I mean they are such a gift but it is tougher than I ever imagined. I totally get staring at the walls at night too haha. I feel like after he goes to bed I’m rushing to get everything done so I can just get into bed already!! But I did feel a little bit of a turning point at the 3 month mark. You definitely get into more of a routine.

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Christina Harms says · 03.12.14

Thank you for sharing!

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Wild Family says · 03.12.14

It really is the hardest thing to explain to someone who does not have kids, right? but you are at the stage when things really do just get better, you will have up and down days still but all and all I think the 1st 3 months are the most over whelming and “hard” I have a 10, 7 and 4 year olds and really it only gets better and better 🙂

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Amber says · 03.12.14

He is absolutely a ADORABLE. And while you’ll probably get grief from people for not continuing to breastfeed, it is so not worth all that stress and agony that it was causing you!! Thank goodness for formula, right?! I’m sorry that you didn’t have a better experience with it, but it’s not the end of the world and doesn’t make you a failure. So don’t let negative looks or comments from people get you down. Some women are so pro breastfeeding that they pass harsh judgements without taking the time to consider another mother’s situation or experience.

Um. Those cargo pants. They are too much!!

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Anna Belle says · 03.12.14

I love reading honest posts like this! I’m glad that things are starting to settle down a little! (I can’t even imagine…)

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Jodi says · 03.12.14

Thank you, Kate. No one seemed to understand what I was going through after my first daughter was born. I too had a c-section, and then my daughter was in the NICU for a week. On top of that, we had just closed on our first house THE DAY she was born. I brought my baby home to an empty, very un-nested, foreign home. Breast-feeding was oh so painful, and my c-section recovery was as well. It was HARD. And those close to me, including my husband, didn’t understand. They wanted me to snap out of the emotional space I was in, and wondered what was wrong with me. Thankfully my doctor was able to deal with me during a melt-down at a follow up appointment one day. He helped me feel like what I was experiencing was “normal” and ok. I eventually had to stop breast-feeding too, and it did make a difference. I felt guilty doing it, but it was best for me and my daughter. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sure it will help reach a Mom out there who is experiencing the same “hard-ness” of parenting a newborn.

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Kate says · 03.12.14

That sounds like a lot of craziness all at once!!

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Unknown says · 03.12.14

It truly is hard and no one tells you that. My husband did not understand and I felt like a crazy lady when my second was born when my first was 27 months.
The laugh though. Ahhh… it will make you melt into a puddle on the floor. Record the cooing now, you will forget it and it is too precious to lose.

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Melissa says · 03.12.14

I have two kids and I have a very realistic memory of those first few months. It was not all sunshine and rainbows and sitting in a rocking chair with a halo glowing around me and my baby. It was a lot of tears and frustration and exhaustion and wondering what the heck I was doing wrong that it wasn’t the slap-happiest time of my life. I didn’t talk about it much either because I was so afraid of judgment from other moms, so add to the mix that I felt really isolated. When I finally began to talk about it I found out my experience was much more common than I thought, but it never got talked about because we were all afraid of being judged or raining on someone else’s parade. So now, my mission with new moms is to offer a safe place for them to share their frustrations and encourage them that they’re not alone, they’re doing a good job, and it DOES get more fun. It’s not always endless bleary-eyed rounds of feed-poop-change-sleep-feed-poop…that phase passes. I promise it does. If you’re wondering when the heck this thing is going to get fun, you’re not alone. It does get to the fun part. I promise. I promise, promise, promise. 🙂

And breastfeeding? Dude, that was my biggest wake-up call. I remember sitting in the hospital bawling my eyes out cursing all the women who had told me “Oh it’s so easy, they just latch right on! It’s so natural!” because that was NOT my experience. I did end up breastfeeding both my babies for about a year (my boobs could feed a small village) but it was NOT easy to get started. I have zero judgment for however anyone chooses to feed their babies. They’re getting fed. That’s what’s important. Breastfeeding does not come easily to everyone. Heck, my sister-in-law’s milk never came in so all three of her kiddos were formula babies and she is one of the darn best mommies I know.

You’re a trooper. 🙂 Hugs!

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thebuilderandthebaker says · 03.12.14

Thanks for sharing all of this, having a newborn is SOOO hard! That first three months always makes me rethink having more children. Especially the breastfeeding bit. I had reduction surgery before I had babies, so I never made much milk, my first screamed for the first 2 weeks because I didn’t know she wasn’t getting enough to eat. To know other moms struggle is so reassuring. I hated the feelings I had about quitting but in the end it made everything so much less stressful! Also I have major respect for moms that don’t live near their family. I don’t know what I would have done if my mom wasn’t there to help me. So in my opinion you are awesome. I remember looking at my babies every so often and thinking “ok, your still alive, so I guess I’m doing ok.” You doing such a great job!

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trisha engle says · 03.12.14

I’m a working mom and went back to work after 8 short weeks. In my opinion 8 weeks, 12 weeks, or 6 months aren’t nearly enough time to adjust to being a new mom or a mom for the 2nd or 3rd time. Each baby is uniquely different and requires different needs. I am also one of those crazy moms that nursed my son until he was 3 (yes, years) and still nursing my daughter after 18 months. I do it becuase I enjoy the bonding and snuggle time. I don’t have the pain you described, and if I did I probably would have stopped. I think it’s great you are able to share your most personal stories, because it too could help a mom in dispair. Your body has been through so much, in addition you are trying to adapt to this new bundle of joy, plus manage your own life. You are doing a great job Kate! I enjoy reading your blog every day and even though I don’t personally know you I am proud of your stamina and strength. Through Christ all things are possible. ((hugs))

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Kim Bates says · 03.12.14

I agree, parenting is very hard but in ways that you can’t put into words really. There can be a lot of pessimism sometimes with other parents but I always try to remember that it’s probably coming from a them going through or remembering a very difficult time with their child. Or there way of saying “that’s awesome but don’t get too excited otherwise when everything changes again it will be a harder adjustment for you”. Also, when you’re going through something really difficult with your child (especially something that went well previously) it can sound like other parents are bragging when they talk about how well that very thing is going for them (even if they are not bragging). Personally, I have to admit, I have had these thoughts before but I would never actually say (or type) anything negative to another mom because that’s the last thing any of us need. All this to say something you already know, for the most part I don’t think they don’t mean any harm. PS – he’s beautiful and so are you!

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Megan says · 03.12.14

My first baby was very difficult, it was one of the most trying times of my life. I just had my second child last week and it’s completely different, I think it’s a combination of me having gone through this before and his temperment, but even at just a few days in it’s so rewarding. I feel none of the stress I did the first time {even though BFing is just as hard as it was last time}

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Laura Fairchild says · 03.12.14

You’re doing great mommy!

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BWR4018 says · 03.12.14

Just wanted to let you know this post brought tears to my eyes (in a good way of course- LOL). It was like you were talking about me 15 months ago (my daughter is 16 months old today!). The best way I always could describe it was that it was like living in the Twighlight Zone for a few months. And then, one day, thank goodness, your life just seems normal again. Are things still hard at times? Yes. Are you still tired and always questioning your mommy skills? Yes. But life feels normal again. Not “exacatly as it used to be” normal, but normal “enhanced” with this other person giving your life more purpose and joy. PS I always felt good when people would tell me “You’re doing a good job!” So, “You’re doing a good job!” 🙂

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Lauren Elizabeth says · 03.12.14

cargos forever.

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Bailey L. says · 03.12.14

Parenting is hard! You’re doing a great job!! Each day gets easier and so much more rewarding when they can show more affection 🙂 I’m due with my second in 4 short weeks and my first is only 10 months old. I tried breastfeeding and it didn’t go as planned either. I hope it lasts a little longer with this one! I know I’ll be saying those same prayers in the morning as I get up with two babies, I just have to keep my eye on the light at the end of the tunnel where I’m told it gets easier with two 🙂

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dairywife says · 03.12.14

Thank you for sharing and being so honest, I can identify so much. My baby had a serious difficult first few weeks and I remember my inlaws laughing after 48 hours without any sleep, telling me it would only get worse when they started teething! So not what I needed to hear right then and 4 teeth later I can confirm, it hasnt gotten worse yet! Well done for making it through, the good news is, in my limited opinion, each week gets easier from here on in (and if I’m honest more enjoyable as they interact more and more). Thanks for making me feel more “normal” for having struggled so much!

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Courtney Bartlett says · 03.12.14

I love your posts so much! My youngest was born December 17th so I love reading about David and seeing if Caroline is doing the same things he is. We just stopped breastfeeding 2 weeks ago, and even though we’re both so much happier now, I still feel guilty at times that it couldn’t last longer. We can’t beat ourselves up for it not working out though. It is so much harder than anyone ever tells you.
This is the first post I’ve ever commented on, but I’ve been reading your blog for over 2 years and just want to say thanks. No one ever took the time to show me how to fix hair to get the looks I want, so you’ve been such a big help! I wore my hair chin length and stacked for years because I was afraid to grow it out because I wouldn’t know what to do with it!
So thanks for the lifestyle posts and beauty posts because we’re all relating somehow!

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sydnijackson says · 03.12.14

Are you going to share a baby boy hair tutorial soon?? 😛 Hehe just trying to make you laugh. You’re doing great!! Thanks for sharing your heart.

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Kate says · 03.12.14

🙂

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Christy says · 03.12.14

Enjoyed read your post. I also had a breastfeeding issue and stopped when my son was three weeks old. Now he will be 14 year old next month. You did a good job as mom! I would love to know what you think of T25? Im currently on 21 day fix by BeachBody as well.

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elliesam says · 03.12.14

Those first few months are definitely hard. A whole plethora of Wow I Haven’t Slept In Days And I Can Feel My Brain Leaking Out My Ears. 🙂 Thankfully it does get better the bigger they get. Your little man is just adorable. And that first belly laugh will be everything you want it to be. Hang in there, mama!

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At Last Christina Smith Photography says · 03.12.14

Thank you thank you thank you. Confession – I look forward to your Wednesday blogs the most! I love your other subjects as well, but to see your adorable little boy and hear your real-life mom stories are so encouraging! I have a 7 month old and b’feeding didn’t work for us for a long time either. We made it to 3ish months and decided he would do better being bottle fed. Life changing for us, but I dealt with false mommy-guilt for a long time until I realized that I was believing a lie – that somehow I wasn’t as successful or whatever of a mommy since my son wasn’t getting everything he needed from me. Keep your head up sister! Your little boy loves you and is comforted by you and your husband no matter how he gets his nourishment! I’m so glad that God doesn’t pressure us to make b’feeding successful! Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves if He doesn’t? You’re doing a great job eating up these special moments (no pun intended) and if you ever want to slip and post more than once a week concerning your sweet boy – I, for one, will cheer all day! Thank you again for your encouragement!

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Becky Boor says · 03.12.14

That is such a cute outfit. I am glad you are starting to have better days. I have a six month old and a 3 year old and I had forgotten how tough those newborn days were with my first daughter. When I had my second I was thinking it would be easier because I had been through all this before and my second daughter would just kind of fit in with out daily routine. Wrong. It was tough. She didn’t like the car seat, she didn’t like to sleep. It felt like our whole family revolved around her just to get her to be happy. It is getting better now. She is staring to get on a better schedule. Love your David post. Look forward to them every week.

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Jessica says · 03.12.14

Kate, your honesty is so refreshing. My son was born last May (CANNOT believe he’s going to be one years old in just two months!) and I had no idea how hard it would be to become a mother. A joy, yes. But oh, so hard. I think many mothers are scared of sharing how difficult it really is for fear of being judged or sounding ungrateful for the amazing blessing of children. But the truth is, it’s the hardest thing a woman can do. To go from taking care of oneself, to taking care of every single need for a tiny, helpless little being for forever – well, at least until they’re old enough to fend for themselves – is overwhelming. Your post will help many soon-to-be mamas, I’m sure! Thank you for sharing:)

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anneprado says · 03.12.14

Aww thanks for writing this post. You know, reading your blog we can sometimes get the impression that you’re perfect (in a good way – because you always look perfect and know so much!). So yes, please, keep on reminding us you’re human lol. We <3 your honesty! (and YES, it does get better and better 🙂

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Heather says · 03.12.14

I don’t know that I really felt like “myself” again till I stopped breastfeeding (around 3 months). I know all the positives for it, but it was also a no brainer for us. Glad to hear your fog has lifted.

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ritajoy says · 03.12.14

Thank you for this beautiful, honest statement of motherhood. I so understand how discouraging it is to hear those negative comments from others (who mean well, I know). I remember sobbing to my husband once that, “if it really does get worse, I think I’ll DIE before they turn 18!” Thankfully, he is very wise and kind and suggested we turn away from those negative comments and concentrate on the positives. We purpose to always tell new parents that “it’ll get BETTER”! 2 of our boys are now over 18. I didn’t die. Each stage has many many blessings. And, yes, you will consistently sleep through the night someday!;)

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Theresa says · 03.12.14

Kate your post was beautiful today! I love how you shared your personal experience. I agree about the challenges of motherhood especially in the first few weeks. It is wonderful to see someone influential like yourself stepping out and admitting there are times of struggle.

I am also happy you are savoring the glory moments. It kills me when you’re trying to share a success and people just tell you how bad its about to get.

This was such a perfect post, personifies what I aspire to for my blog, showing the challenges of motherhood while still sharing the joy!

ps Wed is my favorite blog day now 🙂 thanks David

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Brynn Elisabeth says · 03.12.14

I remember thinking “It’s so unfair that everyone gives out a ton of pregnancy and labor horror stories and NO ONE told me how hard breast feeding and the first few weeks are!” My poor hubby still says he had PTSD from our chidrens’ babyhoods.

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Kristen says · 03.12.14

I’m 23 weeks pregnant and love hearing all of this and trying to prepare myself emotionally as much as I can or at least understanding that I kinda can’t prepare myself! I LOVED your video before you had David where you answered pregnancy questions…I feel like I need to watch that every week in order to stay as CHILL as you! haha! I long to be that laid back in this! Thanks for sharing! Blessed me!

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jackie says · 03.12.14

I totally agree! No matter how much you prepare and anticipate having a baby, I also found it a HUGE adjustment and transition time that I had not expected. That was a huge surprise for me and I found it quite difficult. I remember the time as well when I finally thought…okay…we will make it! lol Thanks for being honest in your postings and keeping it real, I really appreciate that:)

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Ashley says · 03.12.14

Thank you! I need this during the difficult week I am having with my 3 1/2 month old.

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Carrie says · 03.12.14

You and Justin are such great parents! No one tells you how hard breastfeeding is. I was in excruciating pain for the first month, cracked, bleeding, etc. I only have one but I hear its easier with the second baby. My hurch just did a parenting series and described the 0-5 year ages as “the survival years”. And with my 2 year old, its the best way to describe it. Hang in there! It will get easier at times and then get really tough again at certain times (especially when the teeth come). But it is all worth it! Children are such a blessing from the Lord!

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kelseylynae says · 03.12.14

I could have written this! 🙂 My oldest is now almost two [in a week and a half! talk about all of a sudden becoming a third grader! sheesh!], and I’m due with our second in a month and a half. When friends asked me what my first experience was like, I shot em straight: The pregnancy and delivery were smooth sailing for me, but those first three/four months? Pure hell. Yes, I had this adorable gift from God to spend my days with but… terrible. I stuck with breastfeeding, and looking back, I know I should have stopped. It would have helped. I’m glad you did. I am praying and praying right now for my post partum this time, in ways I didn’t know how to last time. Thank you for posting this. I’m glad you are through the fog… it only gets better and better.

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Sasha Phillips says · 03.12.14

I don’t have a baby but I really enjoy reading about David. I look forward to sitting down at my computer with a cup of coffee on a Wednesday to read about him. Thanks for sharing,

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Katie says · 03.12.14

Thank you x100 for your honesty! We’re expecting our first little guy this summer and it’s just nice to hear real mom stories. That it is hard, but it gets better. That it’s ok to choose ignorant bliss! So glad the fog has lifted for you 🙂

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Unknown says · 03.12.14

I love your posts about David and what it’s like being a mom! I’m really new to your blog – I think I started right after David was born. So I don’t know what it used to be like – but I think you should be confident in how your blog has changed as you change. I know people gave you some crap for that – but why shouldn’t life change?? I have been super touched with your last two posts about you and your baby. Makes me excited to experience all of the highs and lows of motherhood someday!

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karlee says · 03.12.14

He is so darn cute. I also had a horrible time breastfeeding. It was SO painful. Finally my lactation consultant told me to quit and not feel guilty. But the guilts always there. I made it 10 weeks which felt like 20. Congratulations to you for making it as long as you did. Parentings hard but so worth it.

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villagegirl says · 03.12.14

Gosh but he’s cute! have I said that before? 🙂
This was a great post – so honest and I think sometimes it’s hard for us mom’s to be honest. It’s hard to admit that things aren’t just perfectly peachy keen. I struggled with my first one, finding a routine that worked and feel like I had some sort of control over the day. It’s hard to have one’s life run by a tiny small thing – even if we love them to bits and aren’t even control freaks! I can still recall that feeling and it was 10 years ago! And I completely agree with the ‘just you wait’ advice or drivel or whatever people spew at you. I vowed I would NEVER say that to someone with a baby. Plus it doesn’t even make sense. What other choice do you have but to wait until the next age, phase, day, hour?! So why not enjoy the little things of now instead of borrowing trouble and worry from someone telling you that your child will turn into a monster before your eyes. Good grief. Besides, if he’s a good night sleeper now (awesome!!) then he may simply continue to be one! Wow. I wasn’t expecting all this to come out of my fingers but there you have it. He’s darling, and it sounds like you are a good mother with things in the right perspective.

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Terri G says · 03.12.14

Wish there was a ‘Like” button for this post! Great words, momma. I am an RN turned stay at home mom to our 3 year old and only 3 months away from meeting number 2. It. Is. Hard. So nice to read truthful words from other mommies not glossing over everything and making you feel like you are the only one struggling some days. Of course, I started following your blog for the hair but am loving glimpses of your new journey.

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Kristen says · 03.12.14

I’m sure someone has already said this, but I had a similar breastfeeding experience with my first child. Due to many different variables, by week 3 I was a total wreck and so stressed about breastfeeding. My husband and I chose to do formula at that point and our daughter is now 3.5 years old and a total smartie-pants and very healthy :). I tried breastfeeding with my second daughter and we had great success (thanks in part to a normal non-traumatic delivery and some great lactation consultants at the hospital) and made it to one year! I am now currently breastfeeding our third daughter (who is 2 months) and so far she’s doing great. Good for you to make that decision and feel good about it (I wasted so much time feeling guilty)! Like you said, you can always try with a future child–and even if it doesn’t work out, praise God that we have other options to keep our babies healthy and happy!

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Eva-Karin says · 03.12.14

I had to quit nursing both of my boys around 3 or 4 months because I had tons of breastfeeding issues. I worked SO hard! I lived at the lactation consultant with my second. I finally decided I need to stop and I have struggled with guilt every since. The reasons I quit aren’t considered acceptable by the hard core breastfeeding community, so I also struggle with feeling shame and anger every time I see “formula is poison” comments. However!! My boys are super healthy and happy and we are going to be okay. Thank you so much for sharing.

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Jonella says · 03.12.14

Thank you so much for this post. My children are 16 & 19 years old but I have not forgotten how difficult I thought it was when they were newborns. Your post is REAL and I love it! Too many times we see and read about the “perfect” pregnancy or the “perfect” new baby at home and it makes us real moms feel so insecure. I often asked myself if I was doing something wrong or if there was something wrong with me. Ok, I still feel that way sometimes with my 19 year old son who is away at college!

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Jolee says · 03.12.14

Love this! It is pretty much exactly what I went through after having my son. It definitely took about 4 months for me to feel like myself but before that I was struggling daily and saying a prayer for help every morning. I was ashamed to share with others that motherhood wasn’t necessarily what I had expected. I wish more moms talked about this because so many people go through it. I wish you could somehow prepare yourself but maybe you have to experience having your own baby to know. My baby is now 13 months and I’m telling you, each months gets even better and more fun! You get a little more freedom as they start discovering the world and it is a joy to help them learn about everything. All of a sudden you have a little mini sidekick and it is awesome. You will love it! 🙂

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Misty Pak says · 03.12.14

I soooo appreciate you keeping things real. I feel it is so important for moms to share and relate on a real level, instead of sugar coating everything, so we know we are not alone. When things are rough and not going as smoothly as you would like or ever dreamed, it is easy to feel like you are failing. By sharing, we learn that what we are going through is a little more normal than we imagined. Anyways, thrilled to read that you are getting into a groove. There are soooo many wonderful things about to happen…you have survived the hardest part….or at least one of the hardest parts!

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Amanda says · 03.12.14

Thank you so much for writing and sharing this post Kate. I am a new mom to a beautiful 2 week old baby girl and am feeling I can relate to a lot of the things you mentioned. It is reassuring and comforting to know that my feelings are real, and there are other moms out there feeling the same way. It is also great to know that this fog I am living in will eventually clear and things will get better soon! Thanks for always being real and honest, I truly enjoy reading your blog!

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Ally says · 03.12.14

I too appreciate your honestly and being able to put those tough feelings into words, I’m 8 months pregnant with my first and as encouraging as helpful as all my amazing friends have been, they’ve already experienced the challenging times and that’s the VERY first thing they remind you of. Oh you just wait till he/she doesn’t nap, or you’ll never do anything social again. Me: huge sad face. It honestly breaks my spirit, I need that naive positivity and hope because these babies are the most amazing miracles and I hope I never become bleak and negative towards soon to be new mother or new moms, just because I need a little empathy. On that note, wish me luck!

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Hilary J. Busbee says · 03.12.14

I’m a mom to an 8 month old little lady (first child) and you bring up a lot of great points. Even though people told me all that “you just wait” crap, I don’t think you can ever truly wrap your mind around it until you experience it for yourself. However, I was lucky enough to have an older sister who went before me into motherhood and gave me some great advice.. and that was basically to not listen to the negativity. Every baby is different. Every parent is different in how they react to this new little life. Just because one person thought certain things were horrible doesn’t mean they will be for me. I stayed strong in that mindset throughout pregnancy and have thus far 8 months in to motherhood. I believe that, plus my reliance on my faith, is what has brought me through this journey will a smile on my face. Sure, there are hard moments, and there are times when I have had to wake up and immediately go into mom-mode (excellent point about that!! so true!), but I try to remind myself that this is where God wants me right now. Motherhood is my priority. Not my blog, not that book I want to read, or whatever else. I do get time to myself and I do make sure I take care of me as well, so don’t get me wrong. But this is the job God gave me right now and I’m going to try to do my best at it! You’re doing great!

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Valerie says · 03.12.14

My first post, might have not gone through, since I was on my phone, so at the risk of double posting… Yes to all of this! My girl is 3 months, but when I put ‘real’ clothes on her she looks closer to 3 years! Also, I breastfed for a week, pumped for a month, and now she’s on all formula (with complete support from my doctors). If it’s not working for you and it just adds stress, don’t worry about it! There’s no need to add stress to your life! Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out not breastfeeding, but then the baby cries and my husband gets up to give her the bottle and I don’t miss it nearly as much!

…also, its so great to read all these posts by other women who have had similar experiences! ‘Breast is best’ gets pushed on us so much as a society, it does make bottle feeding feel like a failure, when it shouldn’t at all.

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Marcy Rudin says · 03.12.14

He is so beautiful!! You are doing a great job! I have been following your blog for about 2 years now, and love all of the hair and style tips! Also love the fact that you are a Christian:) Please don’t stress about not breastfeeding. I chose not to breastfeed with all 3 of my babies, even though everyone around me was choosing to breastfeed. I felt it just wasn’t for me, and I knew if I was uncomfortable, my baby would pick up on that. As far as the bonding part of it goes, I still always held my babies while giving them their bottle, I always said, if you are holding them, and they are getting fed, they don’t care if it is the bottle or breast! Enjoy this time, it goes so fast, my mom always told me that, and she was so right! Mine are 16, 13, and 8 now, and it flew by! I would go back to where you are in your stage of life, in a skinny minute:) Thanks for sharing a little bit of your life with all of us:)

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Sherri Johnson says · 03.12.14

David definitely has your lips and smile. Too cute;-)

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Kelly (She Wears a Red Sox Cap) says · 03.12.14

This is a great post- I love when people are honest about the challenges of parenthood. My son is 8 weeks old and we have definitely had some challenges, but I have to say what has helped me is that I expected it to be SUPER hard, so it hasn’t be as bad as I thought ha ha. I am super jealous if you have a good night sleeper though. We are still getting up twice a night and I’m worried about how this will go with my return to work!

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claudia b says · 03.12.14

It is definitely the most challenging job I’ve ever had. And I’m with you on the painful breastfeedings, I think I ripped holes on my sofa arm because my oldest would latch on my not-quite-healed nipple and the pain would shoot up my chest and my nails would dig into the sofa. Good times. Stay positive, because seriously, there are people out there who will try and tear you down, whatever decision you make, or don’t make. Do your best and tell the assholes to go fly a kite.

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Stephanie VanCott says · 03.13.14

I just want to add to the millions of comments that say I look forward to the David postings every week – don’t get me wrong, I love the hair tutorials, etc, but as a fellow mom-blogger, I love reading about your little one. Aubrey is 2 months old now (she was born January 10 via c-section as well) and it’s refreshing to read about someone going through the same challenges we are! Although I’m insanely jealous that David sleeps through the night – we aren’t quite there yet. 😉 Just out of curiosity, have you read/watched “The Happiest Baby on the Block”? I recently watched a YouTube video about it (and I haven’t actually watched the REAL DVD), but it has been a lifesaver for when Aubrey is fussy and doesn’t want to sleep! 🙂

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J is for Jessica says · 03.13.14

I didn’t think being a mom would be that hard, and I was so, so wrong. Now I literally just go day by day, hoping to survive until it gets easier, and my son is 10 months. And I see all these pregnant people who were in a fog, just like I was. I don’t think you can understand until you go through it. We also switched to formula and it was the right decision for us.

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Becky Spengler says · 03.13.14

I do not have children but my sister has 2. With her first she tried and tried to breastfeed and it just did not work out. The second was no problem at all from day one and she breastfeed til she wanted to wean him! So you never know! The second time around may be alot easier. 🙂

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S. says · 03.13.14

Kate, pretty please post about traveling back home alone. I haven’t even had my wee one yet, but i know i’ll have to do half a trip by myself in the next few months and i’m already anxious. Thanks bunches and bunches!

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Jen Johnson says · 03.13.14

Kate~ I love your blog and look forward to your Wednesday posts about your ‘lil Wednesday! =) With my older daughter I tried breastfeeding for about 6-7 weeks and it just didn’t work out for us either – we were both miserable and I felt like that “fog” would never lift. Switching to formula was the best thing we ever did. She was happier & I was happier. Then with my younger daughter I thought I would “try” the breastfeeding again – and from day 1 it just was easy. I don’t know why the difference between the first and the second kid was but with breastfeeding daughter #2 I finally understood what people talked about when they said they enjoyed breastfeeding. We had a couple bumps in the road but really is was so nice & easy. I just wanted to tell you so that you know each kid is different and your experience could be very positive with the next baby! And yes – the first 3 months are just brutal but it gets so much easier & fun!!! Enjoy every moment with that adorable little boy you have. He’s so precious!

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jane ashley says · 03.13.14

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Chiara Di Oronzo says · 03.13.14

Fantastic outfit and beautiful baby!
http://www.agoprime.it

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Sally HP says · 03.13.14

I totally agree with workouts at home vs. the gym, but I have loved having T25 in my back pocket if all else fails and I still need to get in a great workout. I love your honesty as a new mother, and your willingness to share your reality. I have three boys, aged 1.5-8 and it’s the hardest job! Thanks for continuing to be real and tell your truth. Also to remind us old hat mamas what we sound like when we say certain things about sleep/behaviors. You’re right, though, it gets better!

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Jane Doe says · 03.13.14

Isn’t the level of support and understanding here amazing?! So many of us can relate to these feelings from those ‘early days’. My son is 17 months and starting to get very, very fun. I’m learning so much from him right now, it’s amazing. Things My Toddler Taught Me.

Hang in there. xo
Life+1

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Sue Ringquist says · 03.13.14

I’d like to hear your thoughts on T-25. I hear all praises but they are from “coaches” who financially benefit by telling me how awesome it is along with Shakeology (which I won’t ever buy – way too much $$ for basically a meal replacement – tons out there for a lot less $$). I have turbo and just never go into it.

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The Married With a Baby Cat Lady says · 03.13.14

David is so sweet and you’re doing a great job! Good for you for being confident enough to make decisions that work best for your family.

As for working out, I have been involved with Stroller Strides of Raleigh for over a year. It’s a great way to work out with your kiddo and meet other moms at the same time!

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Melissa says · 03.13.14

My daughter just turned 7 months old and I can relate to all of this! I had these visions of a relaxing maternity leave spent laying around snuggling my newborn, and BOY was I in for a surprise. I felt like I needed a maternity leave to recuperate from my maternity leave! Those first 3-4 months really rocked my world and I wish I would have given myself a little more grace. I just never imagined how intensely I would feel everything after becoming a mom. It truly is a crazy amazing thing. You’re doing a great job!!

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Melissa says · 03.13.14

And also, I think all parents should be banned from saying “just wait until…” to all other parents. It is almost never encouraging and, in my experience at least, almost made me feel badly for enjoying something that was going on with baby! No one is an expert on your child but you 🙂

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Tarah Manning says · 03.13.14

Motherhood IS hard. It’s something you cannot explain until you’re in the middle of it. But it does get better. You’ll always have hard days and easy days. There will always be times when you second & third guess your choices. When you compare what you’re doing to what everyone else is doing. But in the end, you know the best choice to make for you & your family. And that is the only right choice.

You’re doing great, just keep on, keeping on!

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Natalie says · 03.13.14

Breastfeeding is so tough, and I totally went through that excruciating pain phase. Every kid is different, though. My first I only breastfed for two and a half months, but my second went for FOURTEEN months. I never (NEVER!) thought I’d ever breastfeed past 6 months, but my son obviously had other ideas. You never know how motherhood is going to go until you experience it as it comes. Every day is a gift and a challenge!

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Jenny D says · 03.13.14

Formula isn’t poison, your health and well-being is important too! Don’t beat yourself up, you are doing great! I recently discovered this blog…..Her last few posts are so inspiring as a mother!
http://yourbestnestindy.com/2014/03/13/the-author-of-mommy-somebody-needs-you-is-you/

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Danielle Kader says · 03.13.14

Hey Kate, just wanted to echo what other moms are saying and encourage you in your decision to stop nursing. Once you let go of the guilt it’s easy breezy. Breastfeeding isn’t what makes you a great mom and formula isn’t the devil 🙂 Great job with working out! It’s so hard to get up early (for those of us who are not morning people). That’s inspiring! Thanks for sharing your life and being real!

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Sarah says · 03.13.14

You go momma! A blogger friend of mine recently published an e-book for new-mommas. It’s a great read – short and sweet. Kinda like chatting with a friend. I’d totally recommend it- AND it’s free right now! Link below

http://www.jraewrites.com/2014/02/i-wrote-book-and-i-want-you-to-have-it.html

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Carli Bushoven says · 03.13.14

I had my baby boy 2 weeks after you (followed your blog throughout your pregnancy and related so much!) Now, i can relate even more. I have had the same struggles as you (even the breastfeeding) and now with my 10 week old i am starting to feel better. He is an overall good baby but you really arent prepared for all the emotions and ups and downs. Thank you for this post!!

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Tarheel Bride says · 03.14.14

I’m so glad you shared such a personal story!!! I have been following your blog for a little over 2 years now. I have a son who will be three in Spril. I suffered so much guilt with him. I had to have a c-section and was only able to BF for three weeks. I felt like I had “given up” on experiences that meant a lot to me! But my Dr. gave me some great advice!! She said if something is getting in the way of you enjoying and bonding with your baby, let it go because it’s just not worth it! 2 years later I still struggle with guilt, but it helps to read stories of other moms who keep parenthood “real”! Your doing a great job and that baby boy is so handsome!!!

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Morgan Hartsfield says · 03.14.14

Kate,
What an amazing post!! I, too, like many of the women who read your blog, can relate. I breastfed my now 6 month old daughter until she was 3 months. I could no longer do it and I felt very defeated. It almost put me into a form of postpartum depression. Reading blog posts online from other moms really helped me to get past that. Cadence is happy, healthy, and gains weight perfectly using formula. We also use the similac sensitive and it has been wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing your personal life with your readers.

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Lar says · 03.14.14

Kate- I’m not saying anything new here that everyone else hasn’t already said but it is true – the first three months are a DOOZY. However, at some point, when David is running around and talking and turning into a little kid, you will be like: wow, I survived those first few months, I can handle anything (well, most anything). There will still be good days and not as good days but you’ll find there are more good days. It is truly amazing when you see them developing into these confident, intelligent people right before your very eyes. You are right – Parenting is NO JOKE and you really don’t know how hard it is until you do it yourself. Having a person rely on you so heavily in every capacity shakes you to your very core. Regarding the breastfeeding — you have to do what works for you and your baby. Being stressed out about it and feeling guilty isn’t good for anybody so you made the best decision. As long as your baby gets fed what he needs, that’s all that really matters. I was BF and so were many others I know and I like to think that we all turned out more than okay. 🙂

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Lar says · 03.14.14

Meant to say *wasn’t breastfed… lol. It’s the sleep deprivation. That’s what really gets you. 🙂

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Lauren says · 03.14.14 Reply
sarajeanqueen says · 03.15.14

This is absolutely the best part of your blog. And stuff like this will keep me coming back until you’re done writing.. (years) Thank you for this post. It is written straight from the heart and so genuine, honest.
I’m not a mom (yet!) but I have friends who are, with little ones, and it made me think of them. And wish I would’ve reached out more. This is the kind of stuff no one else is writing about…
Keep it up. And I’m glad you are in a happier place.

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Elizabeth Humel says · 03.16.14

Kate this was an amazing blog!. Abigail is 11weeks and she is So cute even when she is fussy. I can relate to others wanting to share or give a talking to about what will happen in the weeks to come… at first it bothered me but I’m glad I’m not the only one and So now I just smile and nod. It was the same situation with pregnancy… almost to the point where I was a nervous wreck at times instead of enjoying each moment. Abigail has changed my life and I am So glad God has blessed you with such an awesome gift. Breastfeeding was a challenge for me as well but now I just exclusively pump and feed her that way. I’ll try with the next one since I know now what to do and not to do. Well I hope you have a great weekend!

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kristinwithani says · 03.16.14

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful post, Kate. I’m confident your honesty will encourage so many women in the exact same place.
“I’m the only one who feels this way” is the biggest lie Satan can spew. For me, “I am not alone” is one of the most comforting thing I can experience.
You know I don’t have children (still hopeful, though!) but I’ve watched friends be new parents for the last 22 years. A majority experienced exactly what you shared but I think so many felt alone in it.
This is your ministry!

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Meredith says · 03.18.14

I always tell new moms that if you can make it through the first three months you can make it through anything! A side note, you may want to look into bringing his carseat on the plane next time. It is so much safer in the case of turbulence.

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Unknown says · 03.19.14

Or, I think some of us can gravitate toward the pessimism because we want to know we’re not the only mama who has struggled more and harder. I am grateful for your honesty about the challenges and seeking the joy in parenting. But I have a one year-old who still is up most nights 1-2 times. So when you say you feel like you’re coming out of the fog at 12 weeks, I am a bit jealous. And also wondering what I am “doing wrong”. Logically, I know the answer is nothing. I have tried different methods of improving baby sleep to no avail. But I think it is only human to seek understanding and validation, and sometimes when I see newer moms go on about how great a sleeper their baby is, I bite my tongue from making one of “those” parenting comments. Because the last thing I want is to steal anyone’s joy; sometimes it just takes my brain a minute to catch up and remember we have very different experiences as parents and every child is different.

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Laura Martin says · 03.28.14

Great post Kate! I’m sure you are learning something new everyday as a new mother and it sounds like you have a fantastic attitude about it all (a clean slate each morning is a wonderful suggestion for all of us!) Happy to hear you are taking time for yourself and adding a workout to start your day is a fantastic. I’m a true believer in the Beachbody programs (having lost almost 30lbs with them in the past year). If you ever have any questions or need support with any of the programs, please feel free to contact me: http://www.beachbodycoach.com/Ljmartin86

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Jules says · 04.09.14

How truthful you are Kate! There are so many wonderful & challenging things about being a parent. It looks like you are working through those challenges & enjoying the good times too. Every stage is different. There is a lot of rolling with the punches. I’m glad that you found a way to get through those comments from other parents. I remember how hard it was when I would say that my child did something & then someone would have to one-up it. My child just smiled…well, her child smiled before my child & is now crawling. I’ve learned that parents want to share the joys & to be excited for those other moms. Keep up the good work that you & Justin are doing.

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Sarah says · 04.17.14

I came to your blog today to reread this. My boy is 6 weeks old and we are in a very rough, rough spot. It almost seems impossible most days to keep doing this physically and emotionally. Just reading your encouragement that it gets better has me sobbing at my computer. Thank you so much for this. I want you to know how much better this makes me feel.

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