Um is my baby monitor broken?
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I have a question.
I was under the impression that baby monitors worked like this:
1. Place the camera in baby’s room.
2. Keep parent unit with you to monitor child.
3. That’s all.
details on my monitor here
Did I buy a dud? It seems like my monitor works both ways.
David watches me. He watches and waits for me to drift off into a peaceful slumber and then he strikes.
It’s just a subtle whimper. A “I’m pretty much fine but I want to keep you on your toes”.
I don’t open my eyes to the little whimpers. And I think he knows that.
Maybe he’ll let out a few higher pitched whimpers at an increased frequency.
“Is this the start of a crying fit? Is is just gas?”, I think to myself. I continue to lay, eyes closed, and wait for the turning point.
When it does turn into a full blown crying session, I push myself up from the bed and pull on my pajama pants.
I glance at the monitor. Are his eyes open or closed? I’m looking for any and every clue to help me calculate how long it will be before I can return to my bed.
I slip on my slippers and the crying slows down.
“What do I do now? There’s no way this is over. Or is it?” (clearly delirium has set in)
I sit on the edge of the bed and stare at the monitor. He calmed down. The crying is over and now it’s back to the little whimpers.
Has it passed?
The bigger question:
Do I DARE remove my pajama pants and slippers and crawl back into bed?
This is why I know he watches.
If I do make the worst decision of my life and get back in bed, he waits until I’ve let out my last deep breath and then I hear it. . .
He strikes again.
I jump up, pull on my pants, slide my cold feet into my slippers and throw my robe around me and make my way to the nursery.
And about halfway down the hall, the crying stops.
At this point I just stand in the hallway.
I can’t go back to the bed. . . it’s too soon. It’s too risky.
I can’t go into the nursery in case he is asleep and I wake him up.
The only safe place is the hallway.
I linger there until I feel safe enough to turn around, and no sooner than I turn on my heel, a sound escapes the nursery.
He’s a master at timing.
So let this be a lesson to you, you new moms or soon-to-be moms. . . they know.
They may be tiny, and really adorable, but they know things.
Oh and don’t be like me and return to bed hoping the crying will stop. . . He’s nearly 8 weeks old and that has never paid off as a good decision.
*In case you are new around here, please know while some of the details of this post are true, it is supposed to be satirical.