The Results of “Whether or Not You Like Your Hair”

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I asked Amanda to read through all the comments on this blog post, as well as the comments on the Facebook post, in order to determine what the general thoughts are regarding your fondness, or lack thereof, of your hair.

Here are the big points we noticed:

A lot of women have a love/hate relationship with their hair. Many started by saying they liked their hair, and immediately mentioned a part of their hair they dislike. For example, “I love my hair color but HATE the texture”.

Many shared very personal and vulnerable stories about how they relate to their hair after going through a physical change, whether it be pregnancy or a different medical/physical change. This really displayed how deeply personal some women feel about their hair.

There didn’t seem to be too many women who kind of disliked their hair. If they didn’t like it, the feeling was more a very strong feeling of hate.

Of course, this doesn’t count for everyone and is simply a small sample based on those who contributed in the comments, but the overall consensus was some dislike or negative feelings about one’s hair.

This bummed me out to read.

From a stylist’s perspective, I totally get it. I know that so many women either don’t know what to do with their hair or what products to use on it. It can feel overwhelming, frustrating, and ultimately become something you just deal with.

If I separate myself from the fact that I’ve done my own hair or worked as a stylist for the majority of my life, I can relate because a bad hair day makes me feel annoyed and can even temporarily knock my self-confidence down a bit. Conversely, a good hair day feels great and I want more of you to think more positive things about your hair.

I don’t know what that looks like for you, but if it comes to products or styling, you are in the right place. If you are looking for recommendations or tutorials, I have so many of those on my blog or youtube channel.

If you are unhappy with your haircut, it is so very worth it to find someone who gives you a great haircut. A cut and styling products can make all the difference in your hair. I actually wrote a blog post about how to find a great hairstylist!

A few women wrote encouraging those of us with healthy hair to be grateful for it and shared their experience with hair loss. That is a very difficult battle, especially for women. And they are right! We should be grateful for our hair. And while it certainly can play a major roll in our physical appearance and how we feel about our look, it ultimately isn’t going to determine how beautiful and lovable we are on the inside.

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Comments (27)

  1. A.C. says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    Great post, Kate!
    I recently “broke up” with my hairstylist of few years. Well, she doesn’t know that i found someone else. I am waiting on the right opportunity to tell her (not easy thing to do) but what a difference in my hair cut with my new stylists. I am back on the path of loving my hair again.

    • Mindy says
      Posted October 16, 2019

      I “broke up” with my longtime stylist a couple of years ago, and while it was hard to tell her, I have loved having a fresh perspective on what to do with my hair. My cuts last longer, feel better, and my stylist might be the most encouraging person on the face of the planet, so in addition to a great hair cut and color, you leave her chair encouraged in life. Glad you are back to loving your hair again too!

    • Kate says
      Posted October 16, 2019

      It’s so hard to do that, I get it! I’m glad you found what you needed!

  2. Posted October 16, 2019

    I still have yet to find the perfect hairstylist for me. Been scarred a lot in the past… now I’m super boring with my cuts, don’t wanna risk anything. :/

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
    http://charmainenyw.com

  3. Jessica C. says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    Fun post!! I’m glad you recapped the results from what you found! It’s super interesting to hear where others are on this issue! I am wondering… I’m nearing 40 and I’m one of those that has noticed a drastic change with age/pregnancies/etc… what can I do to strengthen or help my hair’s integrity? I’m thinking something I consume would be most helpful, like Vitamins? Do these help? I’ve heard biotin is a good one? Some say collagen? Do you have any suggestions on this topic? If so where is a good place to get something quality without fillers or extra stuff I don’t need? Always appreciative of your help, Kate!! 💕 Happy Wednesday!!

  4. Casey R says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    I generally like my hair, but having a small child and a demanding full-time job, I just don’t have the time to dedicate to my hair to have a great hair day every day. I have a low-maintenance style that feels fine most days, but I think the time component is also an important part of the conversation! Reading Kate’s website for so long I feel like I have the tools to style my hair really well (thanks Kate!) but I just don’t have the time or energy to do that every day. So I have a simple bob that I flat iron (wash at night and air dry), and most days I feel fine about it. But I wonder how many women just don’t have the time to make a great hair day happen regularly?

    • Kate says
      Posted October 16, 2019

      I am SURE that is a reality for so many women! Time is limited especially as a working mom. A simple bob is a great haircut that is always chic and generally pretty easy to style!

  5. Andrea says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    I need to find a new one which is hard since she sees many family members. I naturally curly hair and following the curly hair method(if you haven’t heard of it, look it up). And she doesn’t believe is in it. So it’s time to move on.

    But before I decided to embrace my curls she was great. I’d always let her experiment with the color suggestions I liked. But the cut always seemed to fall short. Oh well!

  6. Rena says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    You have wonderful hair!
    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena
    http://www.dressedwithsoul.com

  7. Posted October 16, 2019

    Such an interesting post. I feel like I fit in the I like my hair but am constantly judging what it looks like compared to others. It’s hard to keep your confidence up when you judge yourself for not looking a certain way.

    But if there is anything I’ve learned over the years it’s that this is the hair I’ve got, might as well rock it!

    • Kate says
      Posted October 16, 2019

      Yes rock it and enjoy it!

  8. Angela says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    Finding the right cut and a great stylist definitely help bring out the best of my hair. Although my hair isn’t perfect in my eyes, I’m glad I have a full head of hair and still appreciate it, although it has definitely thinned out a bit and gotten coarser with age…ugghh.

    Angela at Blush & Pearls

  9. Maegan says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    I lost at least half of my hair bc I have an auto immune disease and it’s treatment is a form of chemotherapy (doesn’t all fall out but A LOT does). Do you have any recommendations to help with that type of issue? Also, I LOVE the bun you created in this picture. I know you have many messy bun tutorials but this one looks different. Could you show how you do it?? Pretty please!

    • Jess Ramey says
      Posted October 16, 2019

      Hey! I’m not Kate, but I am a cancer survivor and also lot about 1/2 to 2/3 of my hair due to chemo (my chemo didn’t cause complete hair loss). I switched stylists during chemo and was very up front with my stylist about my situation and she felt she could handle it. She advised me to cut it into a chin length bob without and asymmetry, with some texturizing but not a ton of layers. I was prepared to go very short and she advised against it for now, but that’s the end goal when it grows out a little more. I went in gung ho about an “edgy” cut and I’m glad she stopped me. She also gave me a richer, darker shade of my naturally red hair, and something about the change from light to dark helped a lot. She also gave me some tips about how to style it back from my face so it looks fuller. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I feel so silly, but it’s the thing that has stressed me out the most about chemo and I didn’t think even lose all my hair! TL;DR, I would recommend being very up front with your stylist and also ask about their experience with women who have hair loss.

  10. Dana says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    I think it would be really helpful to have a post regarding general hair length/cut/styles that looks great for different face shapes. I have had the same haircut for the majority of my adult life, but I am too scared to branch out because I don’t want to regret it and then wait for it to grow back out. Also, thanks for sharing the results to your post!

  11. Crystal says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    This is interesting. I didn’t provide feedback on your initial post, but I love my hair. I wouldn’t trade it. I wish I knew how to style it in a larger variety of ways, but as a whole, I have long, thick, wavy hair that both holds curl and can be straightened. I hate the natural color of my hair, but that is easily fixed.

  12. Trish says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    You are so right! Love your hair whatever type you have! I have baby fine but lots of it… had more before I got lymphoma at age 17. Lost about 75% of it from chemo and radiation. They were amazed I didnt lose it all. It was so frustrating to have to hide all the bald and thin areas everyday with my little bun I wore for about a year and a half. I was so grateful when I was about 19 to finally be able to get my hair cut after I waited for the new growth to come in. I was even more happy when I found someone who listened to what I wanted to do with my hair though and the little extra money I pay for it is well worth it. Plus through all of your tutorials in the first year or so of your blog I was able to learn how to properly curl my hair and do updos. I have friends asking me to do theirs for events now! This blog has been so helpful for me. Thank you!

  13. Debbie says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    Love your hair in the picture at the top of this post! Do you have a tutorial for it???

  14. Jennifer says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    I HATE MY HAIR .. I have gray hair that I have to constantly color and it is not straight, but not completely curly either. No volume. Thinning. I can’t straighten it because you can see my “line” from where I color it .. so most days it is a frizzy mess. I have a receding hairline so it is really thin on top and looks bad when I put it up. Sigh.

  15. Elisabeth says
    Posted October 16, 2019

    Great post!

    I think the hardest part for me is I don’t know what type of hair I have. Sometimes it’s super slippery and fine. Other times it’s frizzy bottom half and flat top half. So I try certain products hoping that’s what hair type I have and it may work good for a day or two and then it goes terrible. Or I try hair styles and I feel like they come out like the #nailedit photos everyone gets a laugh at. So then I get discouraged and give up when really I should keep practicing the look. It’s kind of an endless cycle.

    But I keep watching your tips and tricks and I’m not throwing in the towel yet of never liking my hair.

  16. Alli says
    Posted October 19, 2019

    That’s why I love your blog!! I’ve been following for years and years, and it was because of the hair tutorials that I got more confident in styling my hair. All too often I would go to a salon, pay a ton of money for a cut and style, only to have it look “right” for a day or two because the stylist didn’t tell me what product to use or how to style it. I like that your hair tutorials have evolved over time, and I feel like we are at the same stage of life so everything you post is so applicable. Anyway, I guess I’m saying THANK YOU for the hair tutorials. My hair has been drastically improved since I’ve been able to learn from you!!

  17. Pat says
    Posted October 19, 2019

    Please f DT o a tutorial for the messy updo you have in this post.
    Thank you

  18. Conny says
    Posted October 19, 2019

    Is there a tutorial for this hair bun? I’m loving it ❤️❤️

  19. Sherry Rogers says
    Posted October 20, 2019

    You’re the first tutorial I have found that can deal with hair just like mine I have an autoimmune disease and my hair which was once extremely sick is now very thin and I don’t know what to do with it I’m a former hairstylist but find that doing my own hair has always been a little bit more difficult I love the way you explain and detail exactly what you’re doing and we’ll look forward to seeing your post in the future thank you you’ve made me hopeful for a beautiful hairstyle for my wedding in December God bless you

  20. Amy A. says
    Posted October 20, 2019

    Do you have any tips for learning to love straight fine hair that DOES NOT hold a curl. Not even curls done by multiple stylists. 😑 I have no idea how to style my hair. All the people I find worth suggestions have hair nothing like mine. I use collagen daily which has helped with some thickness but my hair is still straight as can be and hard to do any cute styles with.

  21. Kim says
    Posted October 20, 2019

    Thankful I have hair, but I hate my fine, thin hair!
    I’ve only had two people in my 60 years who I felt could cut my hair. I live in a rural area and not too many stylists to choose from.

  22. Beth says
    Posted October 25, 2019

    I didn’t see the original blog post so didn’t leave a comment, but wanted to here. I’ve always loved my hair (color, texture, thickness). It’s versatile and, with a good cut and color, gets even better. Having said that, as I’ve aged (I recently turned 50) and become perimenopausal I’ve noticed changes that are, well…kind of scary eventhough they’re apparently “normal” – especially hair loss and thinning. I have a great stylist who understands and works to make my hair look great. I’ve also been proactive in managing the changes to minimize them. But, it’s weird to have to learn a whole new styling routine after years and years of figuring it out…just another interesting part of the journey, I guess. All of that to say, if anyone else is experiencing some of the same things, don’t let the fear stop you in your tracks. Be proactive, see your doc, talk to your stylist and investigate what’s out there. I still love my hair…even if it isn’t the “same” hair I loved in my 20s and 30s.