5 Things I Wish I Knew Before Having My Second Baby

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My boys are now 20 months and 6 months old. If you are bad a math like me, that means they are 14 months apart. And yes, we were trying for our second when David was only about 5 months old, and it happened very quickly!

I wrote a post about the 5 things I wish I knew before I had David last year and thought I’d do a follow up now that I have two kids.

Entering into the world of two kids is interesting. It’s much different than having your first baby, not in a bad or worse way, but more in a “things I thought mattered with my first don’t matter as much anymore”.

While I find that my friend group and peers seem to be having their babies relatively close together, keep in mind that my advice and experience is coming from my experience with 2 under 2. Any age gap has it’s perks and challenges though!

JordanMaunder-Luke-67

14 month old David + newborn Luke

View More: http://jordanmaunder.pass.us/small-things

20 month old David and 6 month old Luke // photos by Jordan Maunder

1. Your capacity will expand as your family does.Β 

It’s sort of a miracle but it does. In the very real way that you felt you could not be busier with your first, you will feel the same way with your second. And you may be like me and think,”how on earth did I actually think that I didn’t have time for anything when it was just David.” So you will have more added to your plate, but you’ll find a way to get it done. Or not and that brings me to my next point.

2. You’ll adjust to a new level of acceptance.

I don’t take time to clean the house and cook dinner as much as I used to. And the keyword is don’t. IΒ could at the sacrifice of sleep or spending time with friends, but I have to pick and choose what I spend my time on and an immaculate home is not high on my list. I’m thankful that Justin is great with leftovers and even frozen chicken + bagged rice for dinner some nights, as I know that isn’t a given in all families. So, I accept, without guilt, that my house isn’t organized or sparkling clean and dinner is sometimes an afterthought.

3. For the first time you’ll feel torn between two things you love equally.

When we first brought Luke home from the hospital, I believe it was the second night that I experienced the first twinge of being torn between the two boys. Justin was putting David to bed while I was feeding Luke and I remember wishing that I was putting David to bed too! It wasn’t that one situation was preferred, I just wanted to be in two places at once.

Now that Luke is 6 months old, Justin and I trade off certain activities and I really feel like I get to spend good, quality time with each boy. It took some time for this, and I remember specifically missing David in the beginning (he was my only one!) of Luke being around, but now we’ve settled into a great place with both boys.

I have special things that David and I do, and Luke and I have little games we play, and the same goes for Justin. This will continue to change over the years, of course, but I’m happy to have found this great place of balance for right now.

4. ThingsΒ you majored on with your first may be very different with your second.Β 

I was a pretty easy-going mom in some senses, but I was an uptight control freak about David’s naps. I wish I hadn’t been so focused on them as I felt that dominated so much of the first part of his life. The perk, however, is David was on a very predictable schedule and slept through the night at about 11 weeks old.

With Luke, I was forced to be more flexible because I had to be. And it’s been good for all parties involved. If David was craving some time out of the house, Luke would snooze in the Solly Wrap. If Luke needed a good, solid nap in his crib, David and I would hang around the house and wait for him to get up. It’s always changing based on what each boy needs at a certain time.

So naps aren’t a major priority around here like they were with David. And Luke did start sleeping through the night at about 15 weeks, but went through a rough stage of sleep regression shortly thereafter. Now, and for the past month or so, he’ll go to bed at 7 (as David does as well) and sleep until about 5/5:30a. But, he often just needs to be resettled and won’t get up for the day until about 6:15a.

5. Since you are already a mom, you will likely feel more confident about mothering the second time around.

With your first, at least in my situation, there is so much to learn and figure out while at the same time operating on little to no sleep while your hormones are completely jacked. Sounds like you are kind of set up for failure to begin with, doesn’t it?

So with your second, you are already into a motherhood groove — and things will continue to change as your kids age — but you may not have the same fears or feelings of being overwhelmed. I was much more confident, having had experience with David, going into motheringΒ Luke. And their age gap never really scared me either. I only know what it’s like to have two boys 14 months apart, so I do my best in being a good mom to them.

 

So if you are pregnant with your second, hoping to get pregnant with your second, or just dreaming about having two children one day, I hope this is encouraging for you! You got this.Β 

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Christen says · 08.19.15

I agree on all of these! I think having your second is all about learning to let go and go with the flow a little more. I refuse to allow little things to upset me anymore. I don’t freak out about an untidy house, I’ll get to it another time (especially when my two are in bed). I think a lot of parenting (especially for me being a type-A person) is about acceptance and knowing that its not about perfection.

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Noelle Mckaig says · 08.19.15

This was what I needed to read today! My boys will be 23 months apart and I am scared to death! I actually just got my C-section scheduled today and that scares me even more even though I have until November to prepare! Do you have any tips about taking care of 2 close in age after a c-section? I would love to know the best way to prepare myself to not being able to hold and pick up my oldest son! Thanks Kate!! πŸ™‚

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Lindsay says · 08.19.15

I know you are asking Kate, but I went through about a 1.5 years ago so I thought I would chime in. And I won’t sugarcoat it, it can be rough. I made the mistake of trying to do too much too soon. My biggest advice, is accept the help that’s offered. I didn’t and I wore myself out and the bleeding continued for much longer than it should have. Give yourself permission to take it easy! Good luck!

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Noelle McKaig says · 08.21.15

Thank you so much Lindsay!!!

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Lisa says · 08.19.15

Also Have a stash of new books. Or little toys you can hand the older one when you are feeding. Wipes and have him clean the table or anything that can distract. Know that there maybe more shows watched for a few while you adjust. And baby wear. Wearing the second made things much easier as the days went on and we could still accomplish things.

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Noelle McKaig says · 08.21.15

Thanks so much Lisa!!!

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Melissa says · 08.19.15

Yup! Sounds about right. While I am not as far into 2 children, I have 2 kids that are exactly 10 months, 9 days apart!! Two under One here (for just a few more weeks)! It’s amazing how you just adjust and manage having two kids.

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Crystal-Lee says · 08.19.15

Thank you for this! We have a two-week old son and an almost three-year old son, and I am strongly experiencing ALL OF THIS. Those twinges of missing my special time with my oldest has hit hard this week, and it’s always so encouraging to know other moms can relate.

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Darby Hawley says · 08.19.15

Oh this is so needed thank you!!! We are pregnant with our second and they will be 18 months apart. I’m excited and petrified at the same time πŸ™‚

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Carrie says · 08.19.15

This post is very encouraging, and your timing is perfect! My daughter is 21 months old, and I am 39 weeks pregnant with our son. Induction is scheduled for tomorrow morning!

Thank you for being so positive and encouraging for those of us who are a bit anxious about entering the mother-of-two-under-two world. πŸ™‚

God bless you and your beautiful family,

Carrie

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Hannah says · 08.19.15

This was SOOOO needed right now, thank you. My second daughter is due around Christmas and my first daughter will be not quite 2 and a half. I feel like when I think about having two of them to manage I already miss my eldest! I hope all of the above rings true for my situation.

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Renee says · 08.19.15

“It wasn’t that one situation was preferred, I just wanted to be in two places at once.”
Exactly!!! I have two boys, they are three years apart. When we brought our youngest home, that’s exactly how I felt. I was so used to having just my oldest for a long time, and I was afraid that he would feel pushed aside, but I knew that my new baby needed me too. One time my oldest said to me, “Can’t you just put him down???” and it broke my heart. We eventually got into a rhythm, but in the beginning I was so torn. Even now, and they are 7 and 4, I struggle with it…recently at an amusement park my husband and my oldest went off to do the “cool” rides, and my youngest and I did the kiddie rides. I loved being with him and having one-on-one time, but I missed seeing my oldest having a blast on the roller coaster, the log flume, etc. I guess it’s a constant battle, but all you can do is your best to find some sort of balance.

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Katie K says · 08.19.15

Thank you for sharing this!! I have a 13 month old and I just started the second trimester with my second. I often wonder how life will be as a mom of 2! I have heard that it seems to be “easier” with the second simply because you’ve survived a newborn once before! I love hearing updates about your boys and it makes me so excited to become a mother of 2 soon!

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Danielle Fairchild says · 08.19.15

Great post! I’m pregnant with my second and my children will be 3 years and 4 months apart. I needed to hear all things, so this read was perfect timing! Thanks!

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Danielle says · 08.19.15

This is such an encouragement. I am due with our second little man in 3 weeks and these are all things that I’ve been thinking about. It’s nice to hear that you do adjust but that that sometimes means not feeling guilty about a house that’s not picked up or a thrown together dinner. Thanks for the encouraging post!

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Kim says · 08.19.15

great post! I don’t have kids, but these are great points for expecting moms or for the future πŸ™‚

Kim

http://trendkeeper.me .. The best transitional Rompers!

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Shanna says · 08.19.15

So although I only have one child right now (an 18 month old girl) I already subscribe to point #2. πŸ™‚

It helps to think about this time as a season and my life won’t always be like this. But for now – keeping everything perfectly in place and clean is just not practical and takes way too much energy that I would rather spend elsewhere. I even have a framed sign in my kitchen that says ” More important than a clean house is a close family; Cleanliness isn’t next to Godliness – Love is.” (Ann Voskamp). I’m over here like Amen, Ann.

Ps. seeing your boys almost make me want to have a second baby. Almost. πŸ™‚

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Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says · 08.19.15

Thanks for sharing your experiences! I want two kids one day, but I have no idea on the age gap!

Her Heartland Soul
http://herheartlandsoul.com

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Becky E says · 08.19.15

I’m so glad to hear all this! I’m expecting my second in February, and my kids will be 21 months apart. I’m nervous but so excited to have them close in age. Hearing that you’ve been surviving (and thriving!) gives me a major confidence boost.

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Stephanie says · 08.19.15

Thank you for sharing this! I am 8 months pregnant with my second child (a boy), while chasing around my daughter (16-months). I’m a little (or a lot) nervous about how to navigate the transition, but I’m trusting that the gifts of life (daycare, mom-help, sweet husband, good friends), and the grace of God will help us get through those first few rough weeks of maternity leave! Your story helped me today. πŸ™‚

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Cynthia says · 08.19.15

“I only know what it’s like to have two boys 14 months apart, so I do my best in being a good mom to them.”

That’s just great mothering advice. Often I find myself, unintentionally, comparing myself to other moms. But I only know what it’s like to have my own three kids, so I should just do my best to be a good mom to them.

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seattlemommy2 says · 08.19.15

Interesting to read other’s perspective. I was uptight and harsh to myself with my first forcing sleeping schedule and routines, militant about cleaning and just about everything. With my second I realized that the point is to embrace whatever I have and not fight against it. My mantra is “don’t try hard, try easy”. Then I got extremely sick when my kids were under two and just 4 and everything was kicked up to a completely new level. My main focus is now savor what I have here and now the rest is unimportant πŸ™‚

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Bonnie says · 08.19.15

I had no idea you were trying when you got pregnant with David…you are one brave lady! I had two boys 24 months apart (now grown) and I seem to remember having the second one made going out with them both alone was difficult because of having to watch the two year old like a hawk while dealing with a baby. Not to mention my husband INSISTED on getting a two door car one year before I got pregnant. I spent years standing on my head putting two kids into car seats in the back of a two door car.

Being a mom of two has its challenges, but as you say, your capacity somehow increases. Good advice here.

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Carolyn says · 08.19.15

Love this. My son is 2 and I am due with my second in a few (11) weeks. These things above are things I think about every single day. So comforting to read xo

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Ashli says · 08.19.15

Such a great post, Kate!

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Amy says · 08.19.15

Did you experience the same “fog” after having Luke as you did with David?

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Kate says · 08.19.15

No, definitely not. My dark time was when Luke went through about 8 weeks straight of screaming crying. Colic or whatever it was, it was very difficult. Having Luke wasn’t as major of an overhaul as having my first, so I think that was why I didn’t get the fog again, you know?

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Maria says · 08.19.15

I was just recently diagnosed with endometriosis and was told not to wait too much longer if we wanted more babies. My first is only 8 months and it’s almost scary and very intimidating to start thinking about trying for our second. I hope I can handle it well but not going to lie I’m so nervous!

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Courtney says · 12.30.16

Hi Maria,
I have endometriosis as well as a couple other diagnosis’.
My son is 13 months and I am 7 weeks pregnant with my new one. I found that pregnancy put my endometriosis into remission , I pray yours does as well. My advice would be listen to your body and your heart, no other person should tell you when you should try for another baby.Let it happen on your time there is no rush. I had numerous doctors tell me I was infertile and would have to go on several medications if I wanted to have a baby , they also told me I was high risk and would have difficulties with labor. I didn’t listen at all just focused on positive thinking. Everything they said turned out to be untrue, I had an amazing pregnancy with my first no issues at all. Now my second one is on its way ,it’s rough it’s terrifying but it’s so worth it. You can do it
Our creator wouldn’t give us anything we can’t handle.
Goodluck β™‘ many blessings on your journey.

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Olivia D says · 08.19.15

Kate, Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and not words of “just wait till…” I am 25 weeks pregnant with our second child. Our daughter is 3 and our son will be born in November. I think you gave great advice and feel reassured after reading your post. On a side note, your boys always look adorable! Any advice on where to find cute/fashionable boy clothes???

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Kristen says · 08.19.15

Thank you for this post! I have been wondering all of this so I appreciate you taking the time to provide some insight. We are planning our second and have many of the same worries you’ve listed so it’s comforting to know things will all fall into place without too much concern.

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Katie R says · 08.19.15

Thank you for this! I’m pregnant with my second and out two boys will be about 18 months apart. The underlying thing I hear you saying is ‘you can do it!’ About being a mom to two under two. And phew, did I need to hear that today!

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Laura says · 08.19.15

Thanks for this! My son is David’s age and I am preggo with boy #2 due in February! I STILL obsess about my son’s napping, but I know that everyone will need to be more flexible when our new little guy comes. It will be an adventure for sure, but I can’t wait!

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Jen says · 08.19.15

I am due to give birth to my third any day now. My first 2 were six years apart, but #2 & #3 will be just 18 months apart. This time I’ll be thrown into the newborn hurricane as a single Mommy, as Daddy left our family within days of finding out about #3. I look forward to your “mom posts” – they remind me to refocus & enjoy all the little things & not stress so much. When my kids are grown & I look back on these years, I hope it’s the cute little things that stick out more in my mind more than the times of struggle.

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Becky says · 08.19.15

Thanks for this post! My daughter is 20 months also, and I have liked reading when you would write about David since they are the same age. I am pregnant now with #2!

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Amanda V says · 08.19.15

This post was so encouraging for me! I am 37 weeks pregnant (due Sept. 8!) with my second daughter and my first will be two on Aug. 31. So, they’ll be two years apart. I have been struggling with how I am going to have time for each of them, especially because my toddler hates to be at home all day. I guess I just need to realize that, somehow, I will be able to make time and eventually we will fall into a new routine. Ive read soo many negative articles lately regarding going from one kid to two, so thanks so much for the encouragement!!

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Katherine says · 08.19.15

Kate,
I love reading stories about your boys because it reminds me so much of my own story. My boys are now 17 and 16 years old (16 months apart) but everything you say is exactly what I went through years ago. I was terrified of having a second child and thinking I could never keep it together; the scariest thought of all was leaving the house to go shopping or run an errand with a toddler and a baby (and a stroller and diapers and bottles…ugh, you know what I mean)! But it truly all comes together and you find you have the capacity to be a wonderful mom to both children.
The one piece of advice I would pass along to you and all the other new moms reading this is TO ENJOY EVERY MINUTE of it! Time will truly fly by, and before you know it, you’ll be taking them for their driving tests and looking at colleges. And you’ll wish you could go back to when they were babies and do it all over again!!

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Leanne says · 08.19.15

such a true post! We adopted our first son… and then 20 months later, adopted our second.. just when I thought I had things sort of figured out, I was pregnant (a huge shock) and S-I-C-K… so sick, that at 35 weeks pregnant, we taught our middle son to climb out of the crib because I wasn’t allowed to lift him! that was not in the “What to Expect Books”… #2 was a HUGE shock to me…so much so, that I was terrified of #3… but, he proved to be a super easy transition…
and they do need different things at different times…
They are now 10, 9, and 7… and I actually homeschool them… so, it must have all turned out okay!
Thank you for sharing your husband’s post, too… I think it blessed many!

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Kim says · 08.19.15

Thanks for this Kate! My husband and I are trying for our second and literally just this morning I thought to myself “can I really handle two, is this a good idea, can I be enough for two?”. I truly do want a second and this post gives me hope I can do it, thanks again! πŸ™‚

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Jandee says · 08.19.15

Thank you for this. We will have babes that are 19mo apart. I find it interesting that you didn’t even mention Luke’s “colicky” days. Our first was colicky similar to what is sounds like you were dealing with with Luke. I have been terrified/dreading that again and it is encouraging to know that it seems to be something that you’ve already put behind you. This is real…what you write is real…I appreciate your honesty.

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Christina says · 08.19.15

PREACH.

I’m reading this in the drive thru line at chick fil a with my two hungry toddlers and 3 mo old snoozing (for now) and it’s way past lunch time … I’m here to say that for SURE you just find a way to keep going no matter what. God is really what gets you through and Who gives you the strength. And your reward is the love of your children, no matter how many times you’ve lost your temper unnecessarily or how many days you have gone without a shower. πŸ˜‰

thanks for this post!

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Darla says · 08.19.15

I couldn’t help but smile while reading this. My husband and I are wanting to try for baby number two and I love your encouraging words and that you seem so relaxed about it all. I think it’s easy to drive yourself crazy trying to do everything “right.” Whatever that means. ..so thanks for sharing! Love your blog! Bless you fellow mother:)

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Lindsay says · 08.19.15

Hi! This is my first time replying but I just felt a strong need to (more for myself than for you). I originally found your blog from looking up Pinterest hairstyles, but just loved your style, quiet sense of humor, and outlook. Then when you posted that it took you and your husband 14 months to get pregnant with David, I felt more of a connection as that is the same amount of time it took my husband and I to get pregnant with our son, Emerson. Our sons were born about 6 months apart, so it was almost like getting a preview of what was to come. We decided to start trying soon after as well, since we didn’t know how long it would take. When Emerson was 9 months we found out we were expecting, and now I’m 23 weeks and looking forward to another boy (they’ll be 18 months apart)!

Anyway, that was long winded and I’m sure you tire of listening to other people’s stories. I just wanted to say thank you for telling it like it is and letting us have a glimpse into your life. I’m sure you don’t always feel this way, but you seem to handle this probably pretty stressful time with such grace, calmness, and humor. Thank you for allowing others to find a connection with you. Also, you’re adorable and you make me wish I lived in the South. πŸ™‚

– Lindsay

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Kendra says · 08.19.15

Hi Kate! A comment to your first point… about 11 years ago I sat in a mentor’s home office as a little wide-eyed newlywed. She had 4 children (the eldest was my husband’s age) and I was mystified by that fact so I asked her ‘how on earth do you manage with 4 kids?’ or something along those lines. I’ll never forget her answer. She said ‘well, when you have one God gives you the grace for one, when you have two He gives you the grace for two, and so forth…’ As I sit here due in two weeks with my 4th little girl (6, 4, almost 2 and one in oven) I can attest to the truth of that statement (similar to your first point). I have found it to be so true. We weren’t necessarily planing this one (certainly not the timing of it for several reasons) but God knows. And I find I’m thankful that He gives us (most times) a good 9 months to adjust to the idea of yet another baby in the house. It took a little longer this time around to adjust to the idea but His grace is in full force and we are ready to meet this new little girl very soon!

On another note, I enjoy your blog. I don’t even remember how/when I stumbled upon it and I live overseas and don’t wear much make up (let’s just say I can do my ‘make up’ in less than 5 minutes most days…;) but you’ve inspired me to give some new things a go and possibly expand my routine/repertoire next time we’re stateside. Thanks for being excellent at what you do and for being real.

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Kathryn Jackson says · 08.19.15

I really needed to hear this. I am pregnant with my second boy and due in about 2 months. I have agonized over a lot of things (gap between the two being one of them although my issue is they are farther apart than we wanted through no fault of our own). This was incredibly timely, helpful, and calming for me at a time when I needed it. Thank you.

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Laura says · 08.19.15

Oh, Kate, you have no idea how desperately I needed to read this! I’m sitting here completely overwhelmed with my 2 year old and 2 month old, looking at my formerly immaculate house and wondering if I actually brushed my teeth this week. Being a mom is overwhelming in ways I never would have imagined until I had them! It’s nice, oh so nice, to know there’s so many other moms in the same boat.

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Traci says · 08.19.15

This was terrifically encouraging to me! I’m pregnant with our second, and he or she will be born almost exactly one month before our first’s second birthday. We were open to another baby immediately after our daughter was born, but I’ve waffled back and forth between feeling terrified to have them 23 months apart and feeling so excited for this new life. Reading your post eased my mind greatly. I’ve heard some of these things from friends & family who I’ve shared my fears with, but somehow, seeing them all listed together from a mom who is in the thick of it is just wonderfully helpful. Thank you for sharing!

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Faye says · 08.19.15

Totally relating to your first point! I have a two year old daughter and an almost six month old boy. I was thinking, just this morning, that I wish I could go back and appreciate the extra time I had to myself when I just had one. Haha! Although, that being said, I remember how much of a challenge it was with just one. I was telling a friend of mine the other day, that just because it might be harder with two, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard with your first.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts today. It was encouraging to hear another mother’s views of parenting two children!

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Tessa says · 08.19.15

Kate, this post is so timely and on point! I have been really struggling with the thought of having #2, our first (Luke) is 14 months and as much as I love the idea of having another baby I just don’t think I could handle it. My transition to motherhood was tough, Luke was colic, and didn’t sleep through the night until he was 9 months old. The past year has just been down right hard and the thought of having to do it all over again and with a toddler absolutely terrifies me. Thank you for sharing so much encouragement about motherhood, I feel like a lot of times moms want to scare other moms about how hard it really is instead of encouraging and lifting them up. This post has definitely encouraged me, thank you!

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Britt Hanson says · 08.19.15

I loved this! I’m expecting #2 in November, and my two will be 19 months apart. I’m excited about it, and I love hearing experiences other moms have had. I know it will be a bit crazy but mostly fun πŸ™‚

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Stacey says · 08.19.15

Thank you πŸ™‚ I needed this today. My son is 19 months old and I’m 10 weeks pregnant. Had a mild break down this morning when it actually sunk in that there would be 2 babies here at some point. And I cried a bit over the ‘loss’ of my baby not being my only anymore. Anyhow, thanks for the kind, helpful words.

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Delia says · 08.19.15

My brother and I are 14 months apart too! We are very close I think in part because we don’t have a big age difference.

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Debbie says · 08.19.15

Your boys are so adorable!!

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Sara says · 08.19.15

Oh I definitely needed this. I just found out mine will be 16 months apart and still in the terrified stage of how am I going to handle two under two. I know everything will fall into place though. Thanks for the encouragement!

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Ashley Lauckner says · 08.19.15

All of this is so true. My daughter was exactly one when I unexpectedly got pregnant with our son. We were told we would probably never be able to get pregnant without help so having it happen was amazing, but a total roller coaster of emotions. I was terrified throughout my pregnancy about managing two under two. It is amazing what happens when that baby comes though. It just works. I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything in the world now and I LOVE watching my kids grow up so close together. They are each other’s best friends and the bond they share amazes me each day.

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Christin says · 08.19.15

Thank you so much for sharing! I have an 18 month old, and my husband and I have just started trying for #2…my biggest fear is that we won’t be able to handle it all, and that my 18 month old won’t get the attention she needs. It is so reassuring to hear that it is doable, and that you DO adjust…so very encouraging!

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Leah says · 08.19.15

I love your blog πŸ™‚ Your post was very encouraging! We are expecting our second boy in November (they will be 16 months apart) and daily I wonder how life will change, but we are so excited too.

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evelina says · 08.19.15

My husband and I have talked about wanting two kids close together. I think going into it with the mindset of having two back to back, it may be easier? We’ll see!

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April says · 08.19.15

This post could not have been done at a better time! I have a little girl a couple months younger than David and am thinking about trying for a second but am so nervous about it. I have followed your blog for years and love everything you post about hair, makeup and style but your Mom posts are my favourite. I also had a breech baby/c-section and shared so many new mom experiences along with you. Even though I’m all the way up in Western Canada, your Blog has become like a friend that I can turn to. Thanks for sharing your life so honestly and openly. It’s so appreciated!

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Abby says · 08.19.15

Loved this post, Kate! My first little boy is 6 months younger than David and I am having #2 in 4 months. They will be 19 months apart. My biggest concern is being torn between them. This post was great!

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Kayla Hutchison says · 08.20.15

I agree with all of these. When my second daughter was born my first was just about to turn 2. While it took me some time to adjust to having two very small kids because they both require so much of attention, I have miraculously adjusted and we have a bit of a schedule and at times, a mutual understanding. My heart has somehow grown from overflowing to completely overwhelmed with love, and I love the close age difference. My house is almost always a total mess. We’ve adopted a toys r us chic. I don’t want to focus on things that I can do do when they’re older…like making sure my house is spotless when we rarely have guests over.

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Kelsey says · 08.20.15

This is a great list and was very well said! It’s exactly how I feel with two kiddos and exactly what I would tell other mothers. Seriously, you nailed it!

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Chantall says · 08.20.15

You have such a beautiful family πŸ™‚
I’m pregnant with our first child, a little girl. Looking forward to seeing her & holding her for the first time. We don’t know if you want to have a second child. I’m sure we’ll figure that out in the future. I’m not the youngest anymore, so I already feel so blessed I’m to have one.

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Nadia says · 08.20.15

Amazing post, Kate!
Will be taking all those precious thoughts on board when the time comes πŸ˜‰
Your boys are so handsome <3
xox N.
http://mielandmint.blogspot.co.uk/

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Jacqueline Burch says · 08.20.15

This post warms my mommy heart. You shared with such grace. I have two boys 17 months apart. And, a second “set” that are 20 months apart. I wish that I had read this after my second was born. BUT…I am so grateful for this post after my fourth πŸ™‚ Hugs momma!

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Jamie says · 08.20.15

Thank you for posting this. I think I needed a little reassurance. My husband has been ready for baby #2 since our first was 10 months old. I, on the other hand have been so apprehensive, because of one of the things you touched on. Being torn between two precious littles. I think I have been more focused on the “bad days” of motherhood with two instead of focusing on the positives. I’m glad to know that it can be done and that you are still alive and happy! Thank you again for sharing!

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Vicky T says · 08.20.15

Beautiful post and I am so glad you learned those 5 points now and that you are sharing them. I have three children and believe me, it is great to know that things do get easier {but busier too} as time goes by and that rigid schedules aren’t truly that important! Ha. Enjoy!!

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Ashley says · 08.27.15

Thank you for writing this! I was actually in tears last night because I am so scared and nervous. My girls will be 16 months apart. I’m due in November mi was so eager and excited with my first that I feel guilt about all this fear. I needed to hear that it’s not as bad as I think!

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COURTNEY Nelson says · 07.15.17

This is very encouraging! I got pregnant with my second when my first is 10 months old. I am feeling a bit sad though just thinking about losing out on all the special 1-on-1 time with my first. Does that get easier?

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Kayla says · 01.24.18

This post was great – thanks for this. I am absolutely terrified of #3 happening, but I keep hearing all will adjust. Love your blog!

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Rachel says · 07.24.18

I know this post is a few years old, but this was so encouraging to read today! My girls are going to be almost 14 months apart (about a week’s shy if I go on time). I’m both excited that they’ll hopefully grow up close and scared to death about having them so close. I often times wonder how I can love another baby as much as I love my first. This gives me some hope in knowing it will all work out!

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Stephanie says · 07.30.18

Thank you so much for this post. Just found out I am pregnant with my 2nd (God’s Plan) my 1st is 8 months old. Did you every feel guilty like your 1st was going to miss out on babyhood?

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Melissa B says · 12.29.21

I’m so glad you reshared this. I have a 17 month old girl and I am due any day with baby girl #2. As excited as I am, I’ve worried about all these things. It’s so encouraging when moms like you who have been through it share about their experience (even the difficulties) in an uplifting way.

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Tabitha Haley says · 03.27.22

I’m expecting my second baby and I am so worried about how it’ll affect my first when this little one comes along! This article definitely calmed my fears. Thank you for sharing your experience.

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[email protected] says · 12.01.23

it is really encouraging and thanks for the share. My boy(first born) is just eleven months month and here Iam 3 weeks pregnant and happy about it as well coz i really know and believe that i will making it through

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