The removal of fecal matter

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It was a stinky Monday.

Other than picking up toys and tumbleweeds of cat hair all day, an unending chore that is perhaps my least favorite is the removal ofΒ the enormous amount of fecal matter from my home.

Between 2 kids and 2 cats, bags full of poop are tossed into our garbage can on a near daily basis.

Justin and I will occasionally look at each other and talk about how there is just so much poop in our lives right now. Unending poop, from humans and animals alike.

Yesterday I was playing with David while Luke napped and I noticed that one of the cats (likely Grits) hadΒ just used the litter box as I walked by.

But the smell lingered for longer than usual.

So then I began my poop hunt. AKA find it before David does.

I couldn’t seem to find it, but I smelled itΒ everywhere I went. I resolved that perhaps this is just what my house smells like and I’m just now noticing it. Perhaps it just reeks of poop constantly, no matter how many candles I burn or air fresheners I use.

And then I looked down.

poop

Ah.

There is cat poop on my foot. The top of my foot no less, which means there is more where that came from. The problem? I don’t know where it came from.

I don’t remember a cat sitting on my foot, but I also can’t remember things from 20 minutes ago because my brain is fried right now, so maybe I’ll never find the original source. It’ll be like using a photo I found on Pinterest. There was an original source, but I just can’t seem to find it. However the photo exists just as the poop exists.

Is this making sense? No? Okay, I’ll move on.

Justin and IΒ bought a new (to us) house!

Yes! The great news is it’s awesome and has an enormous back yard.

The stressful news is that we are probably going to move in about 45 days, assuming all goes well with the inspection. And put our current place up for rent. Or sell it, we aren’t really sure yet. And we are both traveling over the next two months. So it’s about to get a little crazy around these parts, as if it wasn’t already.

No but really, I’m really excited about this next place. We desperately want a yard since our town home doesn’t have one. The location is fantastic, it’s only about 2 minutes from our current place, and it’s across the street from David and Luke’s future elementary school.

It was the first place, of the many that we walked through, that I could really see us living in.

I’ve already created 3 secret pinterest boards for the house. One of them is all about unique pantry’s because this new place doesn’t have a pantry. I know, it’s strange. But I think I’ll be able to do something creative with the dining room and make a pantry in there.

Anyway, that’s what has been going on around these parts. Poop, homes, and poop in homes.

Oh and I never found the cat poop source. That may be reason enough to move.

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carissajade says · 05.05.15

Hahaha this made me laugh so hard. I’m sorry about all the poop. I can relate and I don’t even have children. My dog refuses to poop outside while it’s raining, and it’s been raining a lot recently.

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Debbie m says · 05.05.15

Mine too! Boo

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Steph says · 05.05.15

From one brainless Mom to another…..this was hilarious!!! Thanks for making me smile.

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Katie @ Cup of Tea says · 05.05.15

Best of luck on finding that poop source πŸ™‚ and woohoo on the new house! Our house doesn’t have a pantry either. It DOES have a built in desk in the kitchen. One day, when I have the energy, I plan to rip the desk out and replace it with a floor to cei g cabinet with sliding drawers. Until then, I keep canned goods and unopened things on metal shelves in my garage right by the door. It works pretty well, but I still covet a pantry!

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Amy says · 05.05.15

I have a toddler/poop story that’s for the record books.. When my oldest was 18 months, I was deep into my first trimester with our second son and feeling like death slightly warmed up. Nausea at every smell, and extreeeme fatigue. I was also full time in nursing school, so that didn’t help the exhaustion. One day after class I picked up my son from daycare, came home and sat down and literally fell asleep sitting at the kitchen table. Sitting upright. Leaving the toddler and dog to their own shenanigans. And shenanigans they had… Did I mention I didn’t walk the dog that day yet? My little siesta lasted maybe 20 minutes, but it was long enough for the dog to use the hallway as a bathroom and my dear, sweet toddler to use THAT as play-doh. It’s a funny story to tell now, but at the time I just bawled to my husband lol- cleaning up poop is never fun, but cleaning it up while getting sick over the smell and having the crippling mom guilt of “omg I just fell asleep and left my kid unattended and he played in POOP” was the icing on the cake of Worst Day Ever.
Hope your Tuesday is going much better!
(Oh, and that toddler? He’s now 4 and a half and so far hadn’t needed therapy for the incident. Parenting win.)

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Elena Willets says · 05.05.15

So, so funny! Like many things I’ve gone though in life, that are terrible at the time, I’ve learned to say “Someday we’ll laugh about this!” Congratulations for all you’ve accomplished in your life!

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Marielle Tierney says · 05.05.15

You are so funny! I actually laughed out loud and hot tea came out of my nose:) Nothing like that has happened to me but my brother in law was walking around with poop on his forehead after changing his daughter for about an hour. We were having a family gathering at a hotel so loads of people saw him. Hee hee!
Congrats on the new house and good luck with the move!!

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Emily says · 05.05.15

Haha! Oh man. Love those days. My husband and I got a puppy in January, and I had a similar poop story. Felt like a total crazy person, walking all around & smelling poop & having no idea where it was.

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Whitney @ Come Home For Comfort says · 05.05.15

Having two indoor cats…I’ve totally been there. There aren’t any words for how gross that feels!

Congrats on the new house!

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Lindsey says · 05.05.15

In the 13 years I have been married and out of my parents’ house, I have lived in 2 apartments and 2 houses and have NEVER had a pantry! I hope you post some of your ideas because I could surely use them. I hate taking up my cabinet space for food storage. My next house WILL have a pantry! It’s number one on the must have list! πŸ˜‰

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Kelly says · 05.05.15

We put a non-descript armoire in our dining room and that acts as a pantry. It works really well for us (we have an over 100 year old home and it does not have a pantry).

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Angela R says · 05.05.15

OMG girl this had me cracking up! The other day my son wanted to use the potty, and I was like awesome! Yay for maybe potty training! In my haste I did not check his diaper before I pulled it off. Poop got everywhere. What’s worse though is that it was neon green (kid you not). I have no idea what my mother-in-law fed him that day but we were both covered in neon green poop.

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Ashley Beth says · 05.05.15

Oh the poop days! I remember them well. Soon enough the boys will be old enough to take care of business on their own. I had a conversation recently with my husband and we were like, “Holy crap! We have no idea when any of our 3 kids last pooped! It’s amazing!” Lol! The cat poop, I can’t help you with though. You wear it with swagger!

Our new house also doesn’t have a pantry. We had a small linen closet just outside the kitchen that we use as a pantry. At first I thought it’d be hard to pop outside the kitchen to grab food items but now I’m used to it & it’s no biggie. I’m sure you’ll come up with a perfect alternative. Can’t wait to see it!

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Amanda says · 05.05.15

Same for us! We just bought a new (to us) house, and the people who lived there before us used a hallway linen closet as their pantry. Good to know it’s not annoying to pop out for something quick and back in again! πŸ™‚

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Julia says · 05.05.15

Omg! This is the most realistic post of life as a mama/pet owner!!! Loved it- and your blog. πŸ™‚

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Anna says · 05.05.15

My house didn’t have a pantry either when we moved in, but it did have a coat closet next to the kitchen/dining room. Pantries are much more important than coat closets in my book, so we put shelves in the closet and coat hooks behind the front door. My last house had two coat closets and no pantry, so we put shelves in one of the closets there too. And the apartment I lived in before that had a walk in pantry that was big enough to lie down in… I miss that.

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Cassie says · 05.05.15

We have 3 kids, 2 dogs, 3 cats and 2 guinea pigs. Yes we’re crazy. The guinea pigs are the only ones who to produce mystery poop because they’re caged

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Kristen B. says · 05.05.15

With 7 kids and 2 dogs and 3 cats I have done the walk thru the house looking for where is that smell coming from many a times!! Im kind of glad im not the only one who does this!! Congrats on the new house. I agree a yard is so needed for kids. Esp 2 little boys. They love to be outside!

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JNJxn says · 05.05.15

HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you for this post. Congrats on the new house and good luck with the move!!! πŸ™‚

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Meredith says · 05.05.15

We are buying a house without a panty too, so I can’t wait to see your ideas on how to make that work!!

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Katrina says · 05.05.15

Thank you for keeping it real! We are deep in the poop and pee days too – potty training our 3 year old boy who just doesn’t want to slow down enough to use the potty. My favorite interaction from the weekend:
“Mama, why is there a puddle here?”
“It’s your pee…(explain, again, that he’s had an accident…)”
“Cool! I clean it up.”
As he runs off to get a towel, he creates a trail of pee across the floor.
Sigh.

Anyway, where did you get that rug? I love the color and pattern!

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Chantall says · 05.05.15

I had so much fun reading this, (yes… fun about poop. It’s actually weird. But you have so much humor in your style of writing I couldn’t help it) I actually read it out loud to my husband. We’re expecting our first baby (a girl) later this year, so… there will be poop too! Hahaha!

Anyway, I’ve been reading your blog for so long that even he – my husband – knows who ‘Kate’ is by now. And we get a lot of good idea’s from your blog as well. Thank you for that πŸ™‚

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Lorna says · 05.05.15

Thanks for keeping it real, Kate. Remember that scene from Sex and the City when Miranda opens the door to a visitor and she doesn’t know she has poop on her forehead?! I remember thinking, I bet people who haven’t had kids yet think that scene is exaggerated. But it’s not. XX

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Danielle @ Little Mama Big Life says · 05.05.15

You had me laughing out loud with this one! Just finished cleaning up dog poop in the yard only to have my older son tell me “I’m pooping mom!” Some days it feels like that’s all I do!

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Sara w says · 05.05.15

This is hillarious because we’ve mostly all been there! Congratulations on the new house!

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caitlin frost says · 05.05.15

ahhh! i was headed to a friend’s house with my 4 year old and potty training 2 year old when we had to make a mad dash for the bathroom. i had been smelling poop for soooo long so the youngest yells, “MOM I GOTTA POOP!” and i just immediately pull over. get in there, get her on the toilet, and she’s like, “nuffins cummin out,” and i get really mad at her (this was the week before we moved cross country) and started yelling in the dunkins’ bathroom that she needed to poop cause i could smell it and that she better push that poop out of her bum or she would be in trouble. and then my oldest goes, “mom, you have dirt on you.” i look down, and my entire right thigh is covered in “dirt” which, it turns out, was actually poop. poop from who or where i will never know, but i had been walking around with poop on me for hours. i feel ya girl.

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Morgan says · 05.05.15

Kate, I recently transitioned my cat indoors and I’m trying to get used to having a litter box. How do you cover up the smell at your house? What are your best air freshener tips? I’m leery of candles because I’m away most of the day and can’t keep an eye on them.

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Kathy says · 05.11.15

Morgan, I have 2 indoor cats and have found the best way to deal with the litter box smell is to use a good clumping litter, clean the litter box out twice a day, and completely change out the litter & wash the litter pans once every couple of weeks. Also, make sure your litter is deep enough for them to bury their “business”. We keep ours about 3-4 inches deep, but sometimes one of our cats takes a poop and doesn’t cover, so despite all we do, we have to scoop that out right away and then use a little air freshner.

This may sound extreme to some, but when we were renting a house before we bought one, our landlords always complemented us on how you would never know we had cats.

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Evelina says · 05.05.15

Congratulations on the new house! That is so exciting. Remember to take lots and lots of “before” photos!

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Marianne says · 05.05.15

Don’t know if you’re familiar with cats’ anal glands, but they secrete the most disgusting smell on the planet! I walked around one morning commenting that I kept smelling it somewhere, only to look in the mirror as I was getting ready to find it on my face! One of the cats had left it there as a present for me while he was sleeping on my face during the night! Talk about ewe!

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Stephanie @ Sandpaper and Glue says · 05.05.15

the poop struggle is real. we have 3 cats, 2 humans, and 1 dog. our trash is 75% poop. on a better no, congrats on the new home! πŸ™‚ Strangely, I grew up thinking pantries were only for rich people because I’ve never seen a home with one before- we just keep our food in the kitchen cabinets- then I visited some friends across the country and they were baffled and obviously had one. So… there’s that.

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Freber says · 05.05.15

My husband calls those ‘day gos’. Because wherever you go, ‘dey go’. Ha ha. I’d check your cat butts for any lingering poo on fur. I’m in the same boat as you – 5 month old baby and two kitties who puke and drop poop more than the baby. Sigh. Congrats on the new home!!

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Melissa says · 05.05.15

Oh poop. It inhabits every corner of my life too! The scent of it has taken up permanent residence in my nose. I smell it all. the. time. even when it’s not there. Maybe one day that will pass. When my children grow up and move out. Maybe.

You should hear my friend’s “pooptastrophe” stories. Yes, that was plural. It happened multiple times. She has twins and they joined forces against her. It was brutal.

Congrats on your house! Excited to see pictures!

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April says · 05.05.15

When my daughter was a baby my husband had taken her to the mall one morning while I was working to get out of the house. He was hungry and had stopped to pick up a fast food breakfast. Before he had finished eating he noticed she needed a diaper changed and took her into one of the restrooms, changed her diaper and washed his hands. He resumed walking around the mall and finished breakfast. After eating he had licked his fingers and in his nail bed what he though was leftover food he licked off as well. Needless to say it was not food, but baby poop lodged in his finger nail which he ate/licked off. He has since not lived down that moment of eating poop.

Your poop story definitely brought back memories and made me laugh!

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Lana says · 05.05.15

You should try Worlds Best Cat Litter for multiple cat households. It’s totally flushable, clumps nicely and eliminates bags of poop!

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SaraT says · 05.05.15

A big congrats on the new digs! My kids (16, 13 & 11) are significantly older than your adorable boys, but it looks like we are otherwise in similar circumstances this season. We close on our new (also “to us”) house at the end of this week and will be renting out our current one. Our big decision is whether to do it ourselves or hire a property management company. With DH traveling as much as he does, I’m heavily advocating for the latter! Im ready to be out of this weird limbo of planning but not actually being able to do much since we don’t have keys to the new place yet….my lists have lists and my nightstand is covered in post-its (my way of dealing with the wide awake at 3am with IDEA that won’t let me sleep because I might forget it). I’m like you on the Pinterest boarding too; so many cool ideas! Right now my zen comes from repeating “in two months all should be settled and we’ll be loving the new place!!”. Can’t wait to read your updates!

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The Busy Brunette says · 05.05.15

Oh, how I needed a good laugh today! Thanks for that! And congratulations on the big move! HOW EXCITING!!!!

“The Busy Brunette” at http://thebusybrunette.blogspot.com/

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Sara L. says · 05.05.15

Your title caught me off guard and cracked me up. Could have been worse I guess….the poopy could have been on the bottom of your foot. πŸ™‚
Good luck with the move!!

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Morgan @ Managing Mommyhood says · 05.05.15

Okay, this is so so weird because just last week I spooked my cat by accidently dropping my phone while shooing her off her perch on my laptop and she legit pooped on my hand. She’s never ever done that (when we got her she immediately knew how to use a litterbox. She’s never had an accident except if it accidently falls put, and even then d
she tries to bury ir withlitter) and I swore I smelled it the rest of the day!! So gross. But congrats on the house!!! Very exciting.

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Trisha says · 05.05.15

I love that you just wrote an entire blog post about poop! Def Keepin’ it real for us! Thanks Kate! Love your sense of humor!!

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Sarah says · 05.05.15

Haha! Too funny! So excited about your new house! I know that you will be able to solve the pantry problem. You are so creative!

On another note, have you thought about homeschooling your boys? Just a thought. πŸ™‚

Sarah
http://mybowsandclothes.blogspot.com

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Magdalena says · 05.05.15

Ha! Too funny and very true Poop situation happened to me, too… The only difference…we don’t have any animals CONGRATULATIONS on your new home!!!!

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Olya says · 05.05.15

Hah! Thanks for the laugh! I can totally relate! I don’t have cats but 2 boys & a baby girl. the middle one just got potty trained & would have a LOT of accidents. And they both went through stomach flu’s barfing & pooping. So I’d find barf or poop in many different places! Was telling my husband I feel like a dog going around smelling things to see weather it’s poop or chocolate or nuts from a muffin. Still can smell some barf from the boys room even though I cleaned the carpet 3 times!!! #thenewnormal πŸ˜€

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Seneca Massie says · 05.05.15

Thanks Kate! I needed the laugh. I believe we have all had days like this, whether it be babies, animals, life or babies and animals in our lives, we can all relate to this. It really made me smile

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Pam Lee Vanaman says · 05.05.15

The cats have to go. Period

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Leanna says · 05.05.15

Hahah this really made me laugh. I was expecting this to be a whole post about cat poop and then you throw in that you and your husband bought a house. No big deal. haha. CONGRATULATIONS!! And yes, not knowing the source of the cat poop is definitely reason enough to move.

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Hildy says · 05.05.15

Best blog post title ever. At one point, a few months ago, I looked at my husband and said, “yours is the only butt I don’t wipe in this house!” A far cry from all the sweet talk from our dating days…

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Rose says · 05.09.15

Hildy,

Your comment was also hilarious. Wish I’d thought of saying that to MY husband.

My four boys, all born ‘just’ over a six year period, had me laughing and crying before learning to wipe their own bottoms. My youngest refused to wipe himself by age six, and when I refused, he would yell, “MOM! I SAID, I’m DONE!” Weaning all four from the breast, bottle, pacifier, diapers, and training pants was a BREEZE compared to ‘almost’ making it home free, and having Son #4 Wipe himself. So many bottoms. So many years.

Although, I’m proud to say, in the laundry, there were NEVER any SKID MARKS in the boys underwear!

Kate, when blogging about things most people would find embarrassing to admit, is SO funny. I KNOW she’ll have so many more funny, “YOU WON’T BELIEVE THIS, BUT… ” stories to share and blog about.

But, as Moms, we can all relate. Thanks for making me laugh today, Kate. Good luck with your new home.

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Tyana says · 05.06.15

Love this lol

check out my newest post
xx
Tyana
cityofglitter.com

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Joy C says · 05.06.15

I was having a “poopy” day, reading this story made me laugh several times out loud, not to mention brighten my day. Thank you for being funny, love the blog.

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Sarah says · 05.06.15

The house I grew up in had neither a pantry nor a dishwasher! As a matter of fact, the apartment I live in now still doesn’t have one.

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Kelly says · 05.06.15

What color polish is on your toes? love it.

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Cheri says · 05.06.15

This made me laugh so hard there were tears! πŸ™‚ I have a cat and he doesn’t like to do his poo in the litter box, he prefers to do it next to the box of be placed into his box, weird kitty. Anyway, I don’t have kids yet but I feel that with the amount of poop I clean up every day, so I suppose it’s good preparation πŸ™‚

Love,
Cheri

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Megan says · 05.06.15

Kate! Congrats on the new house! My house also doesn’t have a pantry so I now have a laundry room/ Pantry. I bought an Antique Cupboard and had it refinished and it is now my pantry. It is awesome! I also scoured pinterest for ideas. I seriously do not know what I did before blogs and pinterest. πŸ™‚

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Liz says · 05.06.15

Such a funny story. It’s poop galore at my house too, except in different stages. Teaching my 4 year old to wipe himself so he’s ready for kindergarten, potty training my 2 year old so she can give up the cloth diapers, and changing tons of diapers with my newborn. Everyday there is at least one time where all three do it at the same time and i have to float from one kid to the next. One time I got so distracted I thought I threw a diaper away only to discover I tossed it under the kitchen sink, we don’t even keep trash there ever. Luckily my husband still has litter box duty so I don’t have to deal with our cat messes in the basement.

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Morgan says · 05.11.15

This made me laugh so hard. haha!!!

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Casey says · 05.11.15

Too bad your home decor Pinterest boards are secret! You do the best decorating πŸ™‚

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colin says · 06.02.15

Fantastic info… I love this post

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